- "I want my taxes lower than John McCain's testicles."
- "Fox News swings to the right more than Ann Coulter's strap-on."
- "How did Newt's head fit into the convention center?"
- "I heard that Sarah Palin was the runner up for Miss Alaska, but then again there's only five women in the entire state."
- "Are you guys drinking to have a good time or to forget the last eight years of Bush?"
- "Unhappy that he was born with the face of a Keebler Elf." (on Joe Lieberman)
- "McCain picks a younger, attractive former beauty contestant to be his running mate...what a surprise! How is someone who 2 years ago was the mayor of a town with the population of 5,500 qualified for the job of Vice President? She makes Dan Quayle look like a genius!"
- "Politics is like driving. To go backward, put it in R. To go forward, put it in D."
- "And McCain would've gotten away with it, if not for us meddling kids..."
- "Palin is like the dinner guest who will not leave."
- "Voting for either of these tools is like picking White Castle or Taco Bell at 2am. I will regret whichever I choose but which one will be less deadly to me later." (on the Bush/Kerry presidential election)
- "What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann? Michele doesn't wear glasses."
- "Palin is the poster child for 'No Child Left Behind'."
- "Vote for Palin/Trump 2012! Running under the "I Quit/You're Fired" ticket!"
may 11 2010 ∞
feb 15 2014 +