- you smoke
- you do hard drugs
- you constantly call/text me
- you hate cats
- you enjoy watching Fox News
- you're a horrible speller
- you literally do not know what else to do with your weekends other than get drunk and play beer pong
- you have psychotic mood swings
- you eat a lot of fast food
- you think destroying other people's things makes you look badass
- you do not recycle ever because it "doesn't make a difference anyway"
- you have excessive body hair
- you're hard set on certain ideals and won't let me have my own ideals because you think yours are better
- religion runs your life
- you constantly lie about things
- you spend more time on personal grooming than I do
- you're a yes man
- you're a bad kisser
- you're a mama's boy
- you still wear your high school class ring
- you think high school was the best time of your life and haven’t done anything worthwhile since
- you named your penis
- you're in a fraternity or were in one
- you make me feel stupid
- you're allergic to happiness
- you're way too happy all the time
- you gave me a hickey
- I never see you without a hat on
- you drive a Hummer
- you don't like pizza
- you're a doormat and/or whipped
- you're a workaholic and live to work
- you are Jar-Jar Binx
- an adorable baby with down syndrome waved at you and you didn’t smile or wave back
- you support Tea Party candidates
- you constantly refer to yourself in the 3rd person
- you're a music snob
- you love going to strip clubs
- you chew tabacco
- you're shorter than me
- you won't hold hands in public
- you treat 4/20 as a holiday
- you're "saving yourself" for marriage
- you're a scientologist
- you don't believe in evolution
- you're an idiot
- you have dirty fingernails all the time
- you proposition me with a threesome
- you don't own a TV
- you bought tickets to Burning Man
- you wear Crocs
- you have an AOL account
- you wear Ed Hardy t-shirts
- you own a tux t-shirt
- you steal books from the library
- you don't dance, ever
- you don't have sheets on your bed
- you're obsessed with everything Disney
- you hang out at Starbucks every day
- you pretentiously eat organic and gluten-free food because you think it makes you look cool and trendy
mar 15 2010 ∞
feb 19 2015 +