• boots (dr. martens 939//STURDY ankle boots)
• tights/fleece leggings (target)
• one free people dress
• wool socks
• one well-fitting pair of pants or jeans
• job

• yoga mat carrier (sew this yourself, include a pocket)
• space heater
• exercise tank with built in bra
• canteen that doesn't leak!
• LINED denim jacket
• curtains (pillow cases)
• either find a way to clean my rug or find a new rug?

themes:

• 20 year reunion
• space/intergalactic
• jumpsuits
• gypsies, tramps 'n thieves
• lord of the rings
• denim 'n sluts
• 4loko princesses
• goya (take that as you will)

• pitcher//retro jug with spout
• jars as cups, thrift store plates
• wind chimes
• record player (bring up)
• floral hide-a-bed//sleeper couch
• (a bran in my bed, at least until august)
• a bed! put out those mattress feelers soon
• an abundance of blankets
• pots, pans, oven mits
• a projector if we can find one for cheaps
• lavender, mint, chamomile (already have: rosemary, chives, basil)
• big scissors
• regular glue (elmers or the like)
• paper towels/toilet paper

• finish infinity scarf
• make bracelets (teach your beautiful bean how to make them also)
• make peppermint bark
  • find a way to send this in the mail (tupperware?)
• photoshop elisabeth's christmas miracle
• re-up on underwear & socks
  • boot socks, winter socks, athletic socks
  • beautiful bean-worthy underwear
• pasadena flea market JANUARY 6TH (take brian)
• experiment with sewing!

• some major ipod/itunes restoration
  • names, albums, duplicates, etc.
• make my own pillows ++
• scour flea markets and similar places for long necklaces (gothic crosses, large stones, and bones especially)
• DIY red string bracelet
• DIY pillows
• new nice underwear/possibly bras
• finish the rag rug

• The Notebook, and the flashbacks in Blue Valentine.
• Kind of Ryan Gosling in general; "The Ryan Gosling Kiss"/this kiss too
• Friday Night Lights/Six Feet Under
• Making lists of songs on various topics.
• All of WU's registration stuff that i have to do.

oh hey next 4 years of my life!

• AA knee socks
• AA thermal
• doc 1461s.
• a 2nd pair of knitting needles.

• a cat that i'm not allergic to, who cuddles on the regular.
• an indie boy, capable of growing a beauteous beard, who could potentially become my very own.
• a nose ring.
• someone willing to do my homework for me (i don't think this kind of person actually exists however).
• 1461 doc martens, hopefully a little less warm than my 1460s.
• i would also very much enjoy for my hands to stop sweating so profusely. you two are the reason i don't like summer as much as i should!
• lastly, i would really appreciate not being bombed.

please.

• finish writing Maybe I Need You.
• finish l&s paper (email).
• make a roadtrip route map, with addresses in mind.
• work out some sort of potential schedule for this.
• return library books.
• watch la confidential.
• don't slip up on homework, only 9 days left!

boys, girls, cats. every name that i like.

• Micah (Mica?)
• Sophia
• Scarlet
• Luna (Stella Luna?)
• Orion
• Sioux
• Cleo
• Kaden (Caden?)
• Cadence
• Sadie
• Theo (Theodore?)
• Moses
• Elijah
• Heathcliff (no but really)
• Beau
• Iris
• Daisy
• Owen
• Dillon

• no one deserves to be here more than you (miranda july)
• paper towns (john green)
• eating animals (jonathan safran foer)
• the subterraneans (jack kerouac)
• 14,000 things to be happy about (barbara ann kipfer)

i like the sounds you make when you sleep, like you're eating a meal, grinding your teeth or just breathing /a weather

one day soon, i'll hold you like the sun holds the moon /civil twilight

maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano, all i know is i love you too much to walk away though /eminem/rihanna

where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart? /mumford & sons

if i'm the only girl you've ever had, i guess i can't be the best, i can't be the best /gregory & the hawk

• cleo.
• iris.
• milo.
• honey.
• cat.

• "The only way out of a labyrinth of suffering is to forgive."
• "I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane."
• "What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person."
• "The town was paper, but the memories were not."
• "I'm not saying that everything is survivable. Just that everything except the last thing is."

• Duke Ellington/In A Sentimental Mood (so in love)
• Ingrid Michaelson/Sort Of
• Nina Simone/Lilac Wine
• Missy Higgins/They Weren't There
• Ron Pope/A Drop In The Ocean
• The XX/Intro
• Keak da Sneak/Supa Dupa Hyphy (haha)
• R.L. Burnside/You Gotta Move

i can't shake the feeling that there's something missing.

• leather-bottom jansport (simplest one pox)
• ear cuffs/fakes
• origami flowers
• amy's trailmix/freihofer's
• something with elbow patches. i'm really digging these elbow patches.
• cost plus change purse
• turquoise rings/any rings really

summer ends in 18 days.

for school:

• finish ACT homework
• start common app!
• summer reading
  • by fire, by water (mitchell james kaplan)
  • year of wonders (geraldine brooks)
  • collapse (jared diamond)
    • collapse chapter outline
    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc4bXIg8J...
• send care-packages before school starts (buy stamps)

for room:

• re-cable lights/replace power strip
• find turntable output cable

(keep me going, keep me going strong.)

the new:

• the sky's the limit
• alice in wonderland
• pan's labyrinth
• lord of the rings (1,2,3)
• donnie darko
• sunshine cleaning
• i love you, beth cooper
• eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

and the old favorites:

• the prizewinner of defiance, ohio
• almost famous
• once
• everything is illuminated
• raise your voice
• harry potter (1,2,3,4,5)

(16, Los Angeles, sub-par student and aspiring musician)

homework:

• u.s. history
  • ch 23 outline
  • finish rewrite #3
  • pullman strike letters
• american lit.
  • huck finn essay
• environmental science
  • ch 18 outline
  • LD50 lab
  • review questions

and at home:

• clean out closet/vacuum
• start job hunt
• save $$$

• figure out centurylink account number/pay any bills
• figure out a way to attach yoga mat to bring with
• paint toes or take off all polish
• grab the rest of the dry food left in the apartment
• drop off key in apartment for brita
• pick up 2 extra bc packs
• sleeeeeeeep

what i should be doing:

• finishing some boring math
• transcribing interviews

what i'm doing instead:

• thinking about finishing the math tomorrow, right under the deadline
• thinking about spring break and how full of butterflies and how excited i am to once again look love in the eye and feel home
• wishing for sleep

WHY AM I WRITING THIS I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO BE DOING INSTEAD (when astra told me not to burn out this semester i laughed, but i think this sudden bout of procrastination might be a symptom of a potential future burnout - starting to see why an overloaded schedule is warned against but oh how good next year will feel when it's all done)

• sing to my basil plant
• start a quote book/new little notebook
• (after buying groceries) cook yourself some warm garlic-y sauteed veggies :)
• curl up with wool socks and some solid netflix tea time
• start new knitting!

sell and donate 70-80% of what's in my closet right now, keep only what I actually wear (which is not very much).

• a pair of clogs
• new pair of high tops
• new bras (more bralette, less underwire)
• shortalls//skortalls
• a big pair of pants, wide and drape-like and maybe corduroy
• versatile (grown up) blouses
• new tights
• tall boots? too warm? idk
• HOODED coat (ugh)
• a real backpack with compartments and a waterproofed shell and a place to put my mason jars (the dream)

• trip acid in the sun
• finally go to Three Pools
• learn (try) to longboard
• successfully move off campus
• look into getting foodstamps
• quit smoking cigarettes
• get a bike (necessary for summer job/future commute)
• find a summer job (paint/grounds?)
• get healthy again//yoga, going for a run, et.
• cook dinner for s&b (have 1650 over also for a thankyou dinner)
• for b to stay over a lot this summer in our new house, new experiences with someone (or two people) i love in a new space.
• hone my style//sell or donate most of what i don't wear
  • have a spring stoop sale before school ends

• this magical contraption
• the little prince
• be here now
• this maxi cardigan, or a fairyland dream...

label baby food jars!

• mint (easiest; grows like weeds)
• rosemary (dry soil, easily overwatered)
• basil
  • african blue (blue, skinny leaves)
  • spicy globe (green, flat leaves)

dorm diy:

• thought bubbles (FP)
• stud everything (studsnspikes.com)

• breakfast wrap
• earth balance original natural buttery spread
• alt-meat
  • morningstar original grillers (vegetarian)
  • morningstar original vegan grillers (?)
• hummus, different bean dips
• vegetables + fruits
  • grapefruit

things i want to buy myself:

• american apparel bodysuit in black.
• any of these books, used and paperback:
  • looking for alaska/john green
  • on the road/jack kerouac
  • extremely loud and incredibly close/jonathan safran foer
  • no one belongs here more than you/miranda july
  • the bell jar/sylvia plath
  • the virgin suicides/jeffrey eugenides
  • the feather room/anis mojgani
• a watch similar to this

• creepers, especially leopard print tops and double buckles.
• plaid maxi a-line skirts.
• jean jackets.
• doc martens.
• lace.
• day-old hair.
• black tights.
• eyeball rings.
• large leather rucksacks.
• black torn up jeans.
• cut off shorts.
• black bathing suits.
• burgundy.
• upside down crosses, regular crosses, thick crosses, thin crosses.
• granny boots.
• babydoll dresses/mini tent dresses.
• chunky sweaters.
• braided hair.

• make a baking playlist & upload to 8tracks.
• use said playlist whilst baking brownies.
• update 'favorite tracks' section.
• download skins music.
• officially start my pre-prom plans.
• mentor signature mentor signature mentor signature!
• don't fall behind on homework, i can sense that coming and it needs to be stopped.
• READ. try to finish my library books.
• finish my mega awesome mix CD for michael.
• get into college?
• this is a silly list.
• #silly
• #tumblr tagging on listography oh boy!
• #overtired silliness

• http://www.trntbl.me/
• http://8tracks.com/
• http://www.tumblr.com/
• http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...
• http://www.deargirlsaboveme.com/

• "Jeannette, you're a one man woman, but I'm not that man."

- my grandma, talking about her first break up.

• "You are quite the beauty. If no one has ever told you that before, know that right now. You are quite the beauty."

- anis mojgani, come closer.

• "I saw the banshee flying, wild in the wind of March."

-tumblr, celtic folklore.

• "O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, that has such people in't!"

-shakespeare, the tempest act 5 scene 1.

• "I had so many insecurities that stemmed ...

• "If nothing matters, there's nothing to save."
• "Whether we change our lives or do nothing, we have responded. To do nothing is to do something."
• "I love you also means I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else."
• "I'm sorry for my inability to let unimportant things go, for my inability to hold on to the important things."
• "I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big...

• an explorer/nineteen again
• electric light ochestra/fire on high
• oak gorski
• steven forbert/romeo's tune
• the samples
• mc chris/mc chris is dead
• sam phillips/cruel inventions
• the album leaf/over the pond
• kanye west/lost in the world

• sleepy, but only a little.
• foggy, but with a sunny underbelly.
• with scrambled eggs and spinach at some point.
• spontaneous, but gentle. a gentle push.
• falling into the pocket of the day in just the right way, where you can feel the seams and know this is what it's supposed to be.

i like life today.

• "What if she was meant to be, or could have been, someone important in my life? I think that's what scares me: the randomness of everything. That the people who could be important to you might just pass you by. Or you pass them by. How do you know? I felt that by walking away I was abandoning them, that I spent my entire life, day after day, abandoning people."
• "I often feel like I want to think something but I can't find the language that coincides with the thoughts, so it remains felt, not thought. Sometimes I feel like I'm thinking in Swedish without knowing Swedish."
• "I always looked forward to being an adult, because I thought the adult world was, well—adult. That adults weren’t cliquey or nasty, that the whole notion of being cool, or in, or popular would case to be the arbiter of all things social, but...

• "Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
• "Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time? My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future."
• "I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live."
• "Humans are the only animal that blushes, laughs, has religion, wages war, and kisses with lips. So in a way, the more you kiss with lips, the more human you are. And the more you wage war."
• "Songs are as sad as the listener."
• "My life story is the story of everyone I've ever met."
• "We had everything to say to each other, but no ways to say it."
• "We were quiet on the car ride home. I turned on the radio and found a station pla...

the school:

• huckleberry finn essay, themes of disguise
• study for math final
• review questions/study for apes final
• jazz era power point
• finish math journal

the rest:

• sunday swapmeet!
• talk to andrew about college
• talk to parents about college
• don't get sick, keep drinking orange juice

tonight, sitting on my bed, i should be:

• doing homework
• learning my musical audition song
• learning SOMETHING

while instead i am:

• feeling hungry
• thinking about yogurt
• looking up pictures of winnebagos

• get rent check from maddie
• get squarecash rent from nora
• mail rent check to david by the 25th
• swiffer downstairs
• clean common space (all of my things in common space)
• organize art corner
• do laundry

• lined jean jacket (fur or fleece or anything warm really)
• lined light rain parka (like franny's - off brand but women's, not men's, preferably color blocked)
• brown clogs
• well worn in carharts (32/30's fit but preferably even bigger so they sag)

clothes 'n shoes:

• clogs
• these docs or other waterproof work boots

bathroom/kitchen:

• scale
• soap dish
• crock pot
• wok

misc:

• more fabric for walls
• plants plants plants

• knit cozy for coffee jar (so easy!)
• mend all of brian's ripped clothes and things
• start new winter scarf
• would it be weird to give that bag i've been knitting to kirby? idk

• can i keep you - phillip roebuck
• these arms of mine - otis redding
• something so right - paul simon
• ocean avenue - yellowcard
• i've been loving you too long - otis redding
• adam's song (acoustic) - blink 182
• being in love - songs:ohia

body:

• make one dread, let it stay for the year
• go for little runs/start yoga seriously. do something, stay active.
• seriously think about tattoos, let yourself be drawn on as much as possible.
• lose winter pounds, think towards wula and naked run.
• only eat when hungry. drink more water.

mind:

• start reading for pleasure (summer in salem)
• teach yourself how to sew
• grow herbs once the salem sun comes back for good.

soul:

• embrace what scares you. let love in.
• take responsibility for everything you do. let your soul live an honest existence....

• "I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life." Leo Tolstoy
• "I finish her sentence, know that I will never be rid of her now, that I will eternally finish her thoughts. I don't know anything except that I am not in love with anyone anymore." Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
• "I think of you in colors that don't exist."
• "Soon we will be strangers. No, we can never be that. Hurting someone is an act of reluctant intimacy. We will be dangerous acquaintances with a history." Hanif Kureishi, Intimacy
• "In your arms I forget what the yarn knows of sweaters. I forget to hold myself to...

• i can't make you love me (bon iver cover)
• turnt out (the dream)

• GRADUATE (duh).
• check out Skylark.
• hunt for more rings everywhere.
• go to fleas more often (Melrose/Pasadena/Rosebowl).
• save money! turn lunch money into clothes money.
• continue knitting my impossible scarf.
• keep a disposable camera with me at all times.
• take movie suggestions.
• start COOKING, for real.
• invest in some summer shoes.
• start watching Six Feet Under.

(1)

• veruca salt - get back
• velocity girl - sorry again
• helium - pat's trick
• madder rose - panic on
• l7 - pretend we're dead
• pj harvey - dry
• the juliana hatfield three - spin the bottle
• the breeders - happiness is a warm gun (beatle's cover)
• elastica - stutter
• the breeders - divine hammer

(2)

• nirvana - all apologies (acoustic)
• alice in chains - nutshell (acoustic)
• pearl jam - elderly woman behind the counter in a small town (acoustic)
• blind melon - change (acoustic)
• stone temple pilots - plush (acoustic)

bible [http://atlasobscura.com/]

• license plate garage/tower hill, illinois, shelby county
• pike place market gum wall/pike street, seattle, washington
• world's biggest treehouse (minister's tree house)/beehive lane, crossville, tennessee

• nur eine nacht!

• black jeans
• tumblrific t-shirt
• wolf t-shirt
• black sweater
• suspender tights
• mini backpack
• pierced ears
• creepers
• american apparel bralette
• american apparel bodysuit
• sweatpants
• or these sweatpants
• lace dress

(either to eventually buy, or as inspiration.)

you and me, we used to talk

like river underground.

the sewer where we used to walk,

the hole at the end empties out to the pier

where paper boats disappear.

me, i try to send this note,

float it like a paper boat

but paper sinks and words are weak

i try but i don't speak.

- "Grace Polk"

• reread looking for alaska/john green
• read anagrams/lorrie moore
• finish knitting my scarf.

et cetera.

• not realizing i had so much left on my common app.
• 300 people in a 1 room school.
• feeling like, as a woman, my voice doesn't count everywhere and no matter how much 300 people in 1 room is affecting me, I can't singlehandedly change it without a man backing me up.
• "It's ultimately up to the Pakistani people, and so far, the Pakistani people haven't changed anything." this quote, and the feeling that we're arguing in circles.
• the frustration that comes with arguing in circles, in politics and in love.
• not being able to call you a hypocrite.
• realizing that pretending time and distance and people aren't important is only pretending.
• wishing for time turners.
• not waiting and feeling guilty.
• religious extremists. the fact that we're...

• "Sometimes life is merely a matter of coffee and whatever intimacy a cup of coffee affords."
• "Finding is losing something else. I think about, perhaps even mourn, what I lost to find this."
• "I'm haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words."
• "I've been examining half-scraps of my childhood. They are pieces of distant life that have no form or meaning. They are things that just happened like lint."
• "The bookstore was a parking lot for used graveyards. Thousands of graveyards were parked in rows like cars. Most of the books were out of print, and no one wanted to read them any more and the people who had read the books had died or forgotten about them, but through the organic proce...

• "Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it's very important that you do it. I tend to agree with the first part."
• "Someone's been trying to tell me something. Make her yours forever, and I'm working on the forever part."
• "If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched."

- R M ( W F )

• "You are in my blood. I can't help it. We can't be anywhere except together."
• "Do you know when they say soul-mates? Everybody uses it in personal ads. "Soul-mate wanted". It doesn't mean too much now. But soul mates- think about it. When your soul-whatever that is anyway- something so alive when you make music or love and so mysteriously hidden most of the rest of the time, so colorful and big but without color or shape-when your soul finds another soul it can recognize even before the rest of you knows about it. The rest of you just feels sweaty and jumpy at first. And your souls get married without even meaning to- even if you can't be together for some reason in real life, your souls just go ahead and make the wedding plans. A soul's wedding must be too beautiful to even look at. It must be blinding. In must be like all the weddings in the w...

the school:

• history letters
• sci. final
• figure out play/p.e. schedule

the rest:

• save $$
• pick up film
• GET SOME FREE TIME

(2 months until i'm accepted or denied from the summer of my dreams. i might die of anxiety before 2 months are over.)

• work harder to get A's, not B's
• be a better friend
• learn to drive stick
• do something nice for a stranger
• busk for an actual profit
• get pierced
• make 22 mix cds
• take a trip down memory lane
• try not to think about may, 2010