Alex Conine, my best friend, took his life on July 14th, 2012. I want to remember everything about him.

• Meeting him at Fishy Park on 07/27/2007
  • He was dating Sara,and I thought his fedora was just so cool.
• His terrifying driving
  • When we all did a Chinese fire drill in his Volkswagen van and he turned left when the door was still open; I almost flew out while Zach shut the door. We lost a boot.
  • When I got my car and I called him to take me for a ride because I didn't have my license, and he revved it way too high and I got mad at him.
  • When we were all high and he passed a cop speeding, and then casually turned down a side street, turned off his lights, and maneuvered through a neighborhood at top speed before turning back onto a main road.
• My first formal
  • Asking him with that hideous cake, and asking my mom to drive me down there to leave it on his front porch.
    • Tripping on his lawn after ringing the doorbell and being absolutely terrified that he would come out while I was running back to my mother's car.
  • His response, the first romantic thing that anybody had ever done for me
    • A container of ten dollars of pennies, a note that said "Search through the Rest to Find the Best," and our lucky penny with "YES" written on it
  • The hideous outfit he wore: A nearly turtleneck fencing shirt and a velvet blazer
    • Subsequently hiding from him all night because I was so upset with him
  • His car breaking down on the way to the dance, and having to wait for Jake and Chaelynn to come back for us
• Drinking for the first time
  • When he longboarded down to my house to drink with Sara and me.
  • When he saw me laying on the ground and came to kiss me for the first time, and I just stuck out my tongue and said "Bleh!"
  • When he left and I followed after him, taking off my pants.
  • Sara passing out and Alex coming back to draw all over her with me.
• Seeing him at Iceberg where he worked when I went to get shakes with my mom
  • How I was a total mess and hid behind her so that he wouldn't see me
• Going up to the park by my house and talking about everything
  • When he told me that my knees were perfect after I said that knees were ugly and weird
  • Listening to him sing to me, in his beautiful but off-key way, Black Cadillacs.
    • And it's true....we named our children after towns....that we've never been to.
  • Later, him recording me singing music in the freezing winter.
  • Smoking my Newports while he smoked his Cloves with Dollar Store gloves on.
  • Kissing in the grass.
  • Hiding in the castle above the spiral slide.
• Getting kicked out of McCade Hunstman's party for dancing too sexily, and then going back to his car to make out for hours.
• Dancing to Cyclone at Alex Macfarlane's party
  • Leaving the party, when I told him that I had a really great night and he said "I love you too" and I was too afraid to correct him.
• When he saw my scars for the first time at Dillard's when he took me shopping for a prom dress because my boyfriend wouldn't.
  • And me getting upset with him for not noticing sooner.
• Smoking weed for the first time
  • When I fell over and he tried to pick me up, but Justin insisted.
  • Listening to him beat box for hours
    • And insisting that he was only good at beat boxing when he was high.
      • But he never was good at beat boxing.
• Driving the Volvo with him and Sara, and us yelling at him about the speed limit and making up turns.
  • How he would always pretend to make an up turn no matter how old the joke was getting.
• When he got arrested for possession and came to pick me up to hang out the next day.
• How he was the only boy my mother ever approved of.
  • When my grandparents came to town and he played dominos and Cranium with us.
    • Smack talking my grandparents during dominos, and them smack talking right back.
    • Watching him enact "mermaid" for Cranium, flopping around on the floor and miming long hair for three minutes.
• Crying to him at Wheeler Farm about how he liked Sara more than me
  • When he told me that I was the only girl who ever broke his heart
• When I accidentally told him that Gabriela was dating somebody else
  • And he stormed away for an hour; I was so worried
• When I told him that I would let him get really drunk and stoned and I would take care of him.
  • When I instead got really drunk and stoned and he took care of me anyway.
• Singing the blues in the hippie van, and making up silly things to sing the blues about
• When he insisted on washing his car at eleven o'clock at night, and a do it yourself car wash.
• Going to Granite Park and laying under the stars, talking about life.
• When Sara and I rollerbladed to the shopping center and didn't want to blade all the way up Highland, so we called him and told him we were "in over our heads" and we had "bitten off more than we could chew."
  • How he left his date to come pick us up.
• Talking to him about Gabriela, and how he was so excited about this girl that he just met.
  • And, as their relationship grew, seeing how much he could really love somebody.
• When we went to the Helper Arts Festival and he raced with Kira Mesa on that really scary road from Spanish Fork.
• Taking myspace pictures at Dee's.
  • Taking myspace pictures everywhere.
• His love of brewing beer
  • Telling me to try each new batch, even though he knew I couldn't tell the difference
  • Teaching me how to do a "perfect pour" and telling me I did great when I knew I probably actually didn't.
• Sitting around while he worked on his car.
• Swimming in that tiny pool in his house when his parents went out of town.
• How he would always drive me home on time, even though his curfew was later than mine, and at times non-existant.
• When I spent half an hour rescuing a beetling and putting it outside, showing him when he picked me up for our first date, and him stepping on it.
• When we drove up to see the beautiful fall colors and my mother asked who I was with and I told her I had walked up there all by myself.
• When we went to the equestrian center to make out and the cops came and asked us what we were doing, and how old we were, and if I felt uncomfortable, and told us to go home.
• Sitting in the little dome at the top of the swirly slide at the Steeplechase park, being really close together, and talking instead of kissing.
• When I threw up french fries everywhere from drinking too much vodka and he picked me up the next morning and offered to take me out for french fries and vodka.
• When he called my vag Chewbacca because my text tone was his voice and the phone was between my legs, and the joke dragged on for far too long.
• Listening to Margaritaville on repeat in his van, driving around the city.
• When we went into the Verizon store with Megan and Zach and he went on about how the "UI was just awful" and we laughed at him about it forever.
• "So I'm fuckin' this chick, right?"
  • Him getting mad at me every time I started telling that story.
• Getting stoned and watching Super Troopers every weekend for a month straight in my mother's basement.
• Singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs, all of it, no matter what.
  • When we sat outside of my house in his Volvo singing it because the song wasn't finished even though I had a curfew.
• How he came to every single one of my shows, except for one when I was state, since I was fourteen.
• Trying to start a techno band and using Britney Spear's album for beat ideas.
• Rapping with Jake over his beat
  • When we found the recording and he put my moan on repeat for like five minutes.
• When he bought the entire Book of Mormon on vinyl and was going to make music with it.
• Listening to Songs for a Mormon Child and singing it really loudly.
• When Jake and I were fooling around in his parents guest bedroom and he came in with a video camera saying he was going to put it on RedTube.
• When we got silly at the Real Game and he harassed my sister-in-law's little sister and then woke up the next morning and kicked my ass at Magic.
• How he always insisted on listening to KRCL 90.9, even if it was horrendous tribal music or god awful R&B.
• When we heard Konichiwa Bitches by Robyn on the radio and he went out and bought her album.
• Receiving five minute long messages filled entirely with bluegrass.
• The way he said "I love you too, Katie."
• Watching him eat pho like the manliest man.
• When we were alone at his home, dancing drunkenly to the Dresden Dolls
• Kissing just because we knew it would make Jake upset.
• Eating his pan fried Ramen and hash browns that I always thought were too spicy.
  • When I said that there wasn't very much "hash" in his hash browns, referring to the amount of potatoes, and he and Jake laughed about how the hash been earlier.
• Taking silly pictures with pizza and putting them on Dailybooth.
• Following him to school with my mom and telling her to take the way that he took.
• Attempting to make the hashtag #alexconine trend on twitter.
• When he said "I can enjoy a glass or a bottle or three of wine as much as the next girl."
• When I meant to text him something about rastafarianism and it accidentally autocorrected to 'partbearham.'
• Telling him that I thought if he and Zach were a couple he would be a top.
• When he taught me to longboard by letting me hold his hands while I was standing on it.
• The way that he always said "Hay" and "Ha ha" when texting, and how it sounded in my head exactly like his voice.
• When he told me that there was no way anybody could beat the ghost on a Mario Kart Wii track, and right as I was about to cross the finish line breaking the record, he turned off the console.
• When he put on my rain pants, and I said "those are rain paints," and he said "No they're not," and I said "Yes they are. They're rain paints, Alex." And he said "No, they're obviously disco party dance pants."
• How he always made the most ridiclous "In home country of Russia..." jokes in his horrible accent.
  • "In home country of Russia, is size of infant" referring to a large shake.
  • "In home country of Russia, use vodka bottle for condom. Is very bad if break inside of woman."
• When he pretended to be a gay guy for a stranger's video, and then they met him again and freaked out that "Conine is Conine!"
• When he convinced a group of people that he was Irish and changed his voicemail to be in an Irish accent.
• Watching him bowl without any form whatsoever and still make a strike.
  • And if he didn't, he would blame something ridiculous like the floors or the ball.
  • Insisting that his name always be Turd Furgason whenever we went bowling.
• Listening to We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives on repeat because it was his myspace profile song.
• When we first started dating, and he took me to Ali Visconti's house even though I was terrified of her.
• Calling him boyfriend the entire time we dated.
  • Scootering around the Robert's craft store yelling "boyfrannnn"
• Calling Joann's Robert's and Robert's Joann's until it got really confusing.
• Taking a picture of him with a bottle of toothpaste because Erika thought his name was Colgate.
• Getting our Halloween costumes at the dollar store the day of the Halloween party.
  • I was a pirate and he was a ninja.
• When he gave me mono.
• His poem about flex-fuel.
• How his myspace said that he was a 20 year old male living in Fiji, West Virginia even though he was a 16 year old male living in Draper, Utah.
• Holding hands with him for the first time at the Big Ass Show and leaving all of our friends behind to just sit against the wall, hold hands, and chat.
• How he always supported me and my relationships, even if the boy I was dating was just awful.
• His mother thinking that we were dating when he died.
• Sitting outside of Felix's house waiting for Sara for hours, and just listening to music and talking.
• Spending an hour getting ready to go shooting, driving to South Mountain, and realizing that we didn't really want to shoot.
• When we went shooting with Jake and he sat in the back seat playing computer games the whole time.
• When he gave me Pokemon cards for my birthday, and a pokeball from Burger King.
• Going camping with him, Gabriela, Max, and Sunshine and listening to him have sex above me in the van.
• When I drank all that salt water and he laughed at me for feeling sick.
• When we dared him and Courtney Scott to make out and they both claimed that the other was a bad kisser.
• Dancing on the jumbotron at a Real game, ridiculously.
• When his mother told me she thought we were dating after me died.
• How he would always drop everything to help me, even if it was something ridiculous.
• When he and I laid on the top of his van and looked at the stars.
• When he recorded me playing songs in the freezing cold at the Steeplechase Park
• How he was my best friend.