• i will write in my notebook as much as i can using black ink pens that glide like paint onto the pages
• i will go to bed at reasonable times to save myself the sorrows of waking up late or waking up and drinking coffee which rumbles in my stomach like acid for the rest of the day
• sometimes i will move before work, like i have been lately. set an alarm and walk around at seven in the morning. sometimes i'll even run around. there's nobody out at that time so it's safe.
• i will give myself 5-10 minutes of steaming hot shower water each day and exfoliate until everything bad leaves. i will love and care for my pores and leave them alone.
• i will read two novels each week for the entirety of the summer. they don't have to be tolstoy, it's okay to take a break.

• brussels
• paris
• vancouver
• boulder
• parts of amsterdam
• london

• jean seberg
• this list is doomed
• people used to say anne hathaway
• my parents say liv tyler
• i think i look like matt damon
• matt
• damon

• first birthday: large party thrown by my parents with every serbian person we know. i wore a pink dress, ran around, and wreaked havoc.
• second birthday: this was my first birthday in canada, i had a costume party and dressed up like a clown, sasa was a little baby, luka was batman, nina was a princess (obviously) and her arm was in a cast
• third birthday: i wore a really puffy blue dress and got a fisher-price kitchen, i think we had the same people over every year just family friends
• fourth birthday: i wish i remembered, it was probably just like the third birthday.
• fifth birthday: i had a gymnastics party at flicka and i was really sick so my mom made me wear tights under my dress which made me unhappy.
• sixth birthday: peter the pizza magician!...

• the summer of 2007, mom maya and i went to belgrade, the adriatic, and paris...swimming in that cave in the middle of the adriatic was an experience i will never forget
• spending time with my aunt, her now-husband, and ben in brussels
• really, any morning i woke up with ben during the good part of our relationship, being held and making love and eating toast and listening to neutral milk hotel...because that epitomizes love for me, and that was the first time i was in mutual, nothing-matters-more love with anyone (and the last, but it's only been a few months)
• this last trip to belgrade with my dad to see baba
• that time i was crying in a park and my best friend drove and picked me up and hugged me and drove me around in his yugo. n...

• grey leggings, those need to go away
• destroyed denim
• floral printed leggings
• cropped jackets
• especially leather cropped jackets
• cropped shirts at any place or time other than the beach in the middle of summer
• thigh-high boots
• flipflops and skinny jeans, dearsweetgod
• anything that isn't season-appropriate
• dark brown and white thick stripes
• combination of giant backpack and a handbag...there is nothing more horrible than this JUST PICK ONE
• please everyone, just dress for your body type, and match most of your colours, it'll benefit you in the future

• audrey
• naomi
• ethan
• clementine
• josephine

• commuting
• anxiety attacks
• trust! i am a little insane about it
• being honest with myself when i have feelings for someone
• forcing myself to attend my english literature until the 17th century class
• doing school work in general
• controlling my spending

• bees/wasps/anything in that family
• heights
• suffocating

• my best friend is really good at giving herself to people which is something i admire, but at the same time she really loves being alone (as much as i wish i could love being alone sometimes). she is also fearless unless spiders are involved.
• my sunny is the most positive person i know and i've watched her grow from a shithead kid to an incredible woman and i could pretty much die happy just knowing she exists and is happy
• i am privileged to know someone as talented as one of my friends, and i admire how he handles and uses this talent
• never met anyone so honest, which i like
• i don't know anyone who is as good as talking to people as my friend hannah

• howl by allen ginsberg
• death to van goghs ear by allen ginsberg
• dream song 29 by john berryman
• lady lazarus by sylvia plath
• ode to a nightingale by john keats
• america by allen ginsberg
• father death blues by allen ginsberg
• to a poor old woman by wcw
• prufrock by t.s. eliot
• naked poems phyllis web
• i like e.e. cummings because i loved him as a kid (even though he's a fascist)
• i can't finish this it would not end

• patience. i need to be more patient, and to remember patience while i try and win the heart of someone who is really worth waiting for patiently. will employ all of the patience in this quest.
• listening. lately i feel like all i do is talk at people, i need to work on talking to them, and listening to what they have to say.

• james and the giant peach
• the harry potter series (at least the ones that were out at the time which is 1-4 i think)
• little women
• good wives
• little men
• jo's boys
• jane eyre
• matilda
• inkheart
• the thief lord
• eragon
• the hobbit
• sisterhood of the traveling pants
• amazing days of abby hayes!
• artemis fowl
• chronicles of narnia

• tomorrow i'm spending the day with the guy i'm seeing so that should be fun and enjoyable
• TUESDAY I MEET THE VLOGBROTHERS
• jayde and i are both turning 19 in april!
• school being over
• getting accepted to the university i am potentially transferring to (please please please)
• my aunt's wedding in belgium this summer
• potentially travelling europe this summer with my best friend after the wedding
• getting the rebecca minkoff bag i want
• opi holland
• getting a haircut (it's been about three weeks and i'm already crying about needing one)
• andrew bird right before my birthday!

• cinema paradiso
• la vita e bella
• amelie
• a bout de souffle
• goodbye lenin!
• motorcycle diaries
• persona
• coco avant chanel

• aloo gobi!
• pad thai
• red curry (thai)
• thick noodles in peanut sauce (also thai)
• naan bread
• smoked salmon nigiri
• gyoza
• prawn tempura sushi roll!
• in terms of belgian food, steak and fries is pretty self-explanatory
• croque-madame! surprisingly.
• sarma (meat and rice wrapped in grape leaves)
• pita s jabukama (serbian apple pie)
• any pasta done carbonara, favourite italian dish ever
• mussels!

sister

• she's maya, she's nine, she's a preteen and has pimples and will probably be in puberty within a year or two. she's my exact opposite, terrible at academic things and excellent at having a social life. she hates reading, writing, math...she likes tv and playing with brat dolls. but she's smart and extremely intuitive, and really really pretty. we just don't really get along right now.

mom

• she's in her forties, extremely emotional about pretty much everything, piano teacher/pianist by profession, she likes minimalist composers and composing that kind of music herself, she's very self-centered but has good intentions, we're more friends than mother-daughter and have always been this way, i'm extremely open with h...

• matching obsessively
• picking cuticles
• fiddling
• changing my nail colour
• constantly changing something in my room

• eos lip balm in sweet mint
• hand cream
• condoms
• feminine hygiene
• wallet
• keys
• moleskine (my "commonplace book")
• black pen
• howl and other poems
• headphones and ipod
• tissues
• extra contact lense case with solution in it
• gloves, it's winter

• in first year i took a special program at my unversity which makes up 3/4 of a regular course load throughout the year and incorporates philosophy and literature in a historical context, and we read entire texts not just excerpts and wrote papers nearly every week
• a history survey course of the world from mesopotamia through until the roman empire
• introduction to women's and gender studies with a specific focus on intersectional theory and globalisation :D:D:D
• the extension of the above course
• women in canada from 1920 to the present
• a survey of english poetry, beowulf to ginsberg
• english literature until the 17th century (more beowulf essentially)
• cold war american poetry :D:D:D
• presocratic philosophy :D

• OPI tickle my france-y
• essie cocktail bling
• OPI skull and glossbones
• OPI meep-meep-meep
• zoya nimue
• revlon make mine mango
• OPI mermaid's tears
• OPI planks a lot
• OPI just a little rosti at this
• OPI you don't know jacques

• paint my nails
• take bubble baths :)
• write
• read, mostly poetry when i really need to feel better
• snack!
• go for walks at night
• see my best friends

• i commute between 2.5 and 4 hours each day
• i work part-time
• i go to school full-time
• i rarely do schoolwork
• i obsessively purchase nail polish
• going through my favourite tv show with jayde (twin peaks)
• deciding on a second major
• I AM BUSY
• trying to figure out how to move out
• i generally see all my friends about once a week or more and we do things like watch movies and eat food unless it's jayde in which case we are probably drinking in my bed
• waiting patiently to meet john and hank
• should be writing a paper right now

• everything is illuminated
• little women
• jane eyre
• anna karenina
• the unbearable lightness of being
• all of allen ginsberg's everything ever written
• ariel
• 100 years of solitude
• conquest: sexual violence and american indian genocide
• slaughterhouse-five
• the bell jar
• stargirl
• the road
• john green everything
• harry potter
• i could go on forever

• the one time i spilled a bottle of red nail polish all over myself and they thought it was blood and nearly died
• how i fit perfectly on my dad's forearm with my head in his hand while he read the morning newspaper and drank coffee
• being afraid of water
• how horrible they were at cutting my hair and how much they regret it now
• they had to tie me to things to get me to take medicine which is hilarious but also awful
• i always licked all my playdo

• rene magritte
• frida kahlo
• van gogh
• modigliani
• egon schiele
• henri matisse
• andre breton
• joan miro
• alfred steiglitz
• georgia o'keefe
• max ernst
• picasso
• william bouguereau
• etc etc

• vacuuming
• awkward silences
• pubic hair
• internetlessness
• syd barret
• jayde (OOOHHHHH)
• feminism
• reading about feminism
• writing papers
• being naked in front of people
• exfoliating
• plato
• ethan rayne

• helen (k-grade 2)
• ms. gliener (grade 3)
• mr. knodel (grade 6)
• ms. clark (english 10-11)
• mr. jarvis (comparitive civilizations 12)
• ms. baker for putting up with me (math 9-12)
• professor hendricks (arts one)
• professor thobani (women's studies 101)
• professor griffin (presocratic philosophy)
• professor stolte (english poetry)

• fresh black coffee
• my kitchen spices candle
• apple sauce/pie/crumble/crisp (basically hot apples)
• cinnamon (the spice)
• my vanilla massage bar from lush (thanks jayde)
• petrichor (look it up!)
• clean sheets
• the ocean (in a place where it is clean)
• wine
• fresh pineapples and peaches and oranges
• lavender
• old books
• to some extent, cigarettes
• my baba's house

• kitchen spices slatkin&co candle
• my finger puppets
• moleskine
• my purse, because really
• all of my books
• nudies
• my little storage box which looks like an extra large copy of hemingway's the old man and the sea
• the ivanka trump riding boots i purchased a week or so ago, which i now live in
• louisa, my computer
• i have amazing posters/pictures/paintings on my walls that i truly cherish
• unscented body butter (i couldn't live without that)
• my bed
• ihome
• eos lipbalm in sweet mint
• rubiks cube
• hair wax (this shit enables me to look hu...

• i cook a mean butternut squash ravioli in brown butter sauce
• pancakes
• bacon
• omelettes!
• spag bol spag bol spag bol

• i went to europe with my ex-boyfriend, my first serious relationship, and i think just the fact that we pulled off that trip, financed everything ourselves, had an amazing time, i think that's amazing. especially for two eighteen year olds. well he was nineteen, but only recently.
• those moments when you're first falling in love and you're just learning to wake up together and be in the most insane kind of love. the beginning is always the best part.
• my best friend in high school and i went to bowen island together for a day and it was probably one of the most memorable days of my life at the time, i was sixteen and we had a really really nice day together.
• how my first date with my first boyfriend was to see robin hood, which is probably the worst movie we ever watched together...

• i'm starting battlestar galactica
• firefly
• re-watching all of daria (i've only seen about 1/3 of the episodes)
• apparently the wire is amazing so maybe that

• tumblr
• facebook
• youtube
• gmail
• twitter
• my bank info
• netflix
• goodreads
• university stuff
• teefury
• interesting blogs i follow

• improper hygiene is kind of a given
• severe skin issues, sorry i suck
• "women and men ARE equal!!"
• clammy hands
• lack of initiative
• egoism
• bad breath obviously
• general unintelligence
• abnormal mother-son relations (either overly close or overly unclose? yes)
• people who don't read at all

• sexy boy by air (so. classic.) and the entire moon safari album
• pink floyd
• there was an experience involving marvin gaye's "let's get it on" which is. so. fucking. funny. and. awesome.
• the arcade fire
• godspeed you! black emporer
• wagner (lol kidding)
• bon iver for the romantic slow times
• station to station by david bowie
• nmh
• also the mountain goats sometimes