at my old house

• spilling jager all over my wall during a game of beer pong
• breaking one of my glasses during said game of beer pong
  • i practically smashed it onto the table. then collapsed in a fit of laughter
• stealing my upstairs neighbor's fold up table from the garage behind our house for a game of beer pong
  • stealing said table multiple times, during night AND day

things that happened the night i got drunk off a bottle of champagne with ex bff

• developed a southern accent
• ordering fast food with sweet, fake, southern accent
• ex bff hated her blizzard so i attempted to throw it out the window of her car
  • i missed.

things that happened the time jamie and i went out

• had approximately 300 drinks
• tried, and failed to do an irish car bomb
• found a cig on the ground of hooli's
  • jamie put said cig into her mouth
• left my phone at hooli's
• climbed around someone's yard trying to "show evan my butt" while he searched for, and called, my phone
• puked approximately 600 times, twice for every drink, at my house
  • in front of evan and my mom, while they discussed ethiopia
• puked on my floor

my birthday

• did a blow job shot
  • from between the leggity legs of a random guy
  • and in front of my very upset bf
• jumped on a trampoline with jamie, drunk
  • yelled at her for wearing her shoes on the trampoline
  • got hit in the nose/face by jamie's head while we tried to "crack the egg"
• ran around olive garden's parking lot hugging servers on their smoke breaks
• dropped my brand new birthday present camera in the fire (it was unharmed)
• cried for no reason
• danced to 3oh!3 approximately 100 times

one time after progressive long island night

• screamed bloody murder all the way home
• found a crazy asian signing youtube vid
• jumped on a 12 pack of paper towels, like on the whole thing, crushing them all
• threw my new wallet at evan
  • i missed.
  • and hit the wall instead. breaking my brand new wallet. =[
• hung out in cam's room watching youtube and when i tried to leave, thought the vaccuum was my dog and kept calling it to follow me
• did summersaults and handstands in the yard

another p.l.i./graffiti party night (with jamie, evan, and evan)

• jamie wrote "this shirt(shit?) is loose" on a girl's shirt
• i wrote jamie an "i love you" note on a piece of my pay check stub and put it on her car
• ate a whole margarita thin crust pizza
• sent jamie a picture of myself.
  • in the bathroom

paulette's birthday party

• had like 3 washington apple shots at the crystal (so, so strong)
• walked to some sketch biker bar with jessica falling over herself, refusing to hold my hand, and running into mail boxes
• stacey ran off towards the old library and evan, being the man that he is, ran off to save her life; leaving me behind.
• asked lynn if the creep "biker" at the bar could still "get it up" since he was all over paulette and stacey.
  • i also told said "biker" that i was engaged and to not touch me.
• i took a million pictures of tully doing gymnastics on a light pole.
• tully made kristin, evan, and i breakfast while kristin and i...
  • ran up the stairs to wake jared up
  • explore their house and creepy, haunted basement
  • kick mattresses down stairs and punch our way through gigantic pieces of plastic wrap
  • threw out all their dirty, expired food
  • sprayed the entire house with febreeze
• i swept the floor.
  • and did a damn good job, too.
• kristin did the dishes.
  • but she didn't do that good of a job, i hear.
• i almost spilled bacon grease, hot bacon grease, all over myself.
• evan and i walked like 20 blocks back to our car, in the freezing cold, at like 4 am.
• i ran into my dad who was leaving for work like a crazy at 4 am, and pretty much stumbled down the stairs, slurring my words like a drunk. because i'm awesome.

new years eve 2009

• hooligans. about 7 drinks and a beer later, i was dancing and screaming in everyone's face.
• i sang "i'm on a boat" to jamie, with erin and evan.
  • i'm on a boat mother fucker.
  • jamie loves.
• saw 2 of my ex-boyfriends, conveniently the two that cheated on me. and they just had to talk to me.
  • and pretty sure the one's girlfriend wants to dump my body in the ocean.
• i also saw my entire class from high school...oh my gosh!
• sara and leslie told me i have nice titties.
• had about 5 free jager bombs.
  • me and jager, not good.
• jamie and i were also groped, by some freak. our evan's need to shape up and protect us.
• even though i had about 5439 too many shots, and my liver is officially dead, i did not puke. go me.