- You know how girls punch guys when they flirt? Yeah, I still do that. It's like an uncontrollable gut reaction when guys joke around with me. I have to punch them. Not hard, mind you. Then I feel bad. Because everyone and their dog knows that is how girls flirt. And they probably think I'm flirting. And I'm married....And that is really awkward for me...
- One time, I bought this really nice, soft, polar fleece jacket, and this girl, Charene (ug, Charene) kept rubbing her face on it because it was so soft and nice. Seriously. It was my sophomore year, and she kept rubbing her face on my arm and her makeup was ALL OVER. Later on I was bitching to my friend while we were in the bathroom and when I opened the door to my stall there was Charene. Oh hey. Oooopssieee.
- When I was little, I was pretty sure I was going to be a singer when I grew up, so my parents bought me this tape recorder thing. They forced me to sing and play the piano and record myself doing so and so one time I wrote a song about swans and sang it into the recorder. That tape is somewhere in this house and someone, someday is going to find it and oh, my, gosh. End of my life.
- I swear, almost every day I am confronted with that awkward situation where you say something to someone but they don't hear you so you're left to stand there be awkward. What do you do? Do you go on with your life and pretend you didn't say anything? Or do you keep repeating until they hear you? It's like when you wave at someone and they don't see you...uhhggg.
- One time, I was "breaking up" with my best friend (we were pretty much breaking up because she pretty much was in love with me and acted like we were dating. It was gross.) And she wanted me to go get ice cream after class, but I wanted to go get drinks with other friends instead. So, I told her no. And I told her that I was just going home. But I went out. And I went to the place that we used to work, so everyone knew us. And the next day, she went there for lunch. And some dumb bitch said, "I saw Larissa and all her friends last night, why weren't you with her?" Again, oops. She was super pissed.
- The same next day, I was getting a new phone. She was texting me about her OC visit and then suddenly threw in the, "So how was OC last night?" text, when I was getting a new phone. I chose to ignore her and thought it would be smart to blame it on the person fixing my phone. And then when she confronted me later, I said, "Is that what your text said? Because the guy said something about it but wouldn't let me respond." Because I suck at confrontation, so I don't ever do it.
- In Montana, when you turn 21, you have to get a new driver's license. So, I went down to the DMV and as I'm walking in I read the side of the building, it says, "Montana Department" blah blah blah. I saw that and it was good enough for me. So upon walking in, I noticed they had done some serious remodeling. There were people behind a gigantic pane of glass and all these super sketchy people in there. So I call my mom and run out of the building and look at the side again and it says "Montana Department of Corrections." Yep, wrong building. All the parolees were not impressed.
- One time, at Old Chicago, I was a server. This family came in with their handicapped-ish mother. She had a catheter running from her bladder to a small see-through bag because she had bladder issues (I'm assuming. And why it was see-through I don't know but someone should fix that.) Someone had to walk behind her and carry this bag of urine and make sure it was set next to her in a way that wouldn't rip the tube out or whatever. So the entire time I was serving this table, this bag of pee was just hanging out in my face like it was a purse. A purse of pee. It was so gross. And I love medical crap and I'm highly interested in the human body and all that jazz but I'm not interested in it while I'm eating. But wait, it gets better. As they were leaving, the person in charge of carrying it accidentally dropped it on the ground. And it broke. So a lake of pee enveloped the lobby and it stunk for the rest of the day.
jun 6 2010 ∞
aug 26 2010 +