- hosts/esses
- tell them if you need a specific table right away. not after they've taken you 500 miles to your table
- if the wait is long, do not come back asking how long til you're called. either wait or go elsewhere.
- other people will get sat before you. mind your own business and don't come asking every 30 secs
- do not take coloring books and crayons. we will get them. if you are >12, you do not need to color.
- servers
- when we come to your table, stop talking and respond to us.
- when we ask how you are, ask us how we are.
- don't interrupt when we list off our drinks. it's part of the job.
- let us get your drinks THEN take your order. your food won't get there any faster if you insist on ordering the second you sit down. in fact we'll probably take extra long. *this does not apply to appetizers.
- a one ounce sample of wine will not get you drunk. but please, if you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you're not going to order it, then don't say yes to a sample, or even go out of your way to ask for one.
- read the menu.
- if your kids are shy, don't make them order. i do not have 15 minutes to stand there while you coax it out of them.
- your kids don't need 65 soda refils.
- your kids need to sit still. do you realize that we run around with hot food and drinks and GLASSSSS? and if they step out in front of us and we don't see them they will die?
- clean up after your kids.
- this is not a nursery so do not ask if we have kids sized shit. because we don't.
- if you need a refill, everybody gets a refill at once, or not at all. we do not have time to make 41 trips for every single person at your table. we are not magicians and the food does not appear instantly. so ask at once.
- don't get mad when someone else brings something to your table. we work together and you're not our only table so chill.
- once again, you're not our only table. don't make redic requests and expect it instantly when every other person is doing the same thing.
- never, ever ever ever ever ever ever interrupt us while we're talking to any other table. so Fing rude.
- and, don't snap at us. we're not dogs.
- tipping
- if we do a good job, then 15% minimum.
- verbal tips (you're a great server, etc) do not pay our bills
- never, ever ever ever ever stiff your server. this means tips. but don't not pay either.
- don't steal our change.
- if you're going to sit at a table, either waiting for your party, or after you're done eating, then you need to tip more. we could have another table but instead you're using it.
- if you're kids make a mess, leave hazard pay.
- if you require a million different things, leave gas money.
- if you come in 5 minutes before we close, we have to sit there and wait. make it worth our while.
- leaving
- don't stand up and talk around your table for 15 minutes.
- don't leave your chair in the aisle for us to maneuver around.
- thank us. and respond when we thank you.
- phone etiquette
- when we tell you we don't take reservations, don't talk to us for 20 minutes about it. we have things to do.
- when we tell you we can't take payment over the phone, don't complain about it.
- know what you want when you make an order. don't ask us all about the menu.
- don't call with questions between 9 and 11. we have a million and 4 things to do and you're not helping.
nov 9 2009 ∞
jan 14 2010 +