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I will crawl, there's things that are worth giving up I know; but I won't let this get me, I will fight. You live the life you're given with the storms outside. Somedays all I do is watch the sky.

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The funniest things that have ever come out of the mouth of my most favorite professor. <3

  • "...with you and your cats."-student
    • "Cat. I am not a crazy cat lady."-Weiss
  • "Feb 3."
  • "I drugged them before you got here."
  • "See ya undergrads nice knowin ya."
  • "How can men be rebellious?"-Katie Joy
    • "Abandon your family!!!"-Weiss
  • "Let me just talk while I chew with my mouth full. Ok I'll swallow."
  • "Blahdy, blahdy, blahdy, blah."
  • "Our children will grow up to be little psychopaths. I overstate."
  • "I don't usually mark up papers in my on-line classes, so if you haven't had me live, you're in for a treat."
  • "If you don't like your grade, don't cry about it. Well, you can cry, but not in front of me."
  • "Has the Internet made you all drug addicts and prostitutes? I hope so."
  • "How did I write my college papers? Go to library. Look in book. Look in magazine. Typewriter. White-out. Pain in ass."
  • "Let's see what Mr. John said." (In reference to John McCain.)
  • "I apologize for its oldness."
  • "If this is your first class with me you're in for a treat."
  • "Come on, word fans!!!"
  • "Now that you have an iphone you look like a better person."
  • "I don't want to go back to riding my horse."
  • "People ask me, 'How did you live without an ipod?'" (Said in some British/gay/Easterner accent)
  • "Why is he still talking? Oh, because I haven't shut his box."
  • "The people who are kicking gingers are models."
  • "Watch out for ganster violence. It may be the worst kind."
  • "I love it when the world follows my lesson plan."
  • "Larissa, I'm not trying to be your mother..."
  • "The sad little cheese stands alone." (About Evan, Cody, and I when we sat by ourselves in the middle of the class.)
  • "Is MTV turning me into a ganstuh?"
  • "He was such a media whore."
  • "I don't think there is a causal relationship between him dying and MTV being started the next year."
  • "It's really easy to knife someone in this country."
  • "In Portland they had a naked bike ride to raise awareness for something."-Allie
    • "Clothing?"-Weiss
  • "People who are born with both parts become an issue because we don't know how to talk to them."
  • "Alrighty kids."
  • "Where did you grow up?"-Weiss
    • "Las Vegas."-Edward
    • "THEY HAVE JEWS IN LAS VEGAS!!!!"-Weiss (After Edward told him they didn't.)
  • "Is it true you horde your money?"-Stacy (joking.)
    • "Yes. And I drink the blood of Christian children."-Weiss
  • "You can't unring the bell."
  • "I'm a Jew. We run the banking industry and Holly Wood. We're smart. And non of us are athletic."
  • "'Hi, Mom!' 'Oh, hi....That was my slightly developmentally disabled daughter.'" (After watching a TV clip with a person in the background making the shocker at the camera. PS. He doesn't know what "the shocker" is. Also, I like how he referred to himself as "Mom" and not "dad." Classic.)
  • "You have all this oil and extra crap in your body and it all comes out and bleh."-Weiss
  • "I wish I looked like that. Oh I don't look like that. I'm worthless." -Weiss while looking through "Men's Health" magazine.
  • "I know it feels very thick. That's because it is."-Weiss
  • "I would like to see something that equally portrays John Kerry as a douche."-Weiss
  • "I typically like offending everyone."-Weiss
  • "I brought something with me. Not with me. Metaphorically. Well, uh....It's over there.'s on the ....... uh...The Internet is over there."-Weiss
    • "Wow, I've never heard you talk like that."-Stacy
  • "Let's watch Britney Spears dance around with out any clothes on."-Weiss
  • "Anyway, how's the class going so far? Before answering, bear in mind that I have no feelings so I won't be insulted."
  • "Frankly, the only reason I made the deadline Friday night was so that I wouldn't ruin your holiday weekends. But if you're willing to have your holiday weekends ruined, who am I to deprive you?" (About Memorial Day bahahaha)
  • "I'm trying to be nice to you can see."
  • "Hooray for Larissa!!" (About me being a mass comm major bahaha)
  • "I usually try to disguise my humanity but this time I just couldn't."
  • "Can anyone read my mind?"-Weiss
    • "One way communication."-me
    • "Yes!!! Again, hooray for Larissa!!!"-Weiss
  • "In my day...insert old man voice..."-Weiss
  • "Watch your mail for more fun adventures in the wacky world of media!!!"-Weiss
  • "As of 5:45 everything I say will be of earth shattering importance!"
  • "He does get caught up in his historical underwear."
  • "Bollywood is sexy."
  • "Ah, Nepal. The wonders of Kathmandu. The lofty Himalaya. There, are you in the mood?"
  • "I decided not to run this assignment through the complexifier."
  • "I started watching it four years ago and got hooked. I mean I do other things, too."

TBC, no worries.

jan 14 2010 ∞
nov 28 2010 +
user picture Court: He pretty much sounds like a riot, & I pretty much want to take his class. I don't think I've ever liked any of my professors in this way. apr 6 2010
user picture larissa: Seriously he is so funny. He should be my bff. apr 7 2010
user picture Cherry: Ha! He sounds great. I love that you write these quotes down. I always think "What was that funny thing that so and so said? It was hilarious... if only I could remember" (Note to self- Drink a little less) apr 8 2010
user picture larissa: I am always furiously writing down everything he says because he is so funny. He's probably top 3 best teachers of my whole life. And not because he makes me laugh. He's so smart, him being funny is a def plus. apr 9 2010
user picture Tori: I love when professors always say hilarious things. It's even more funny when they don't realize they're being ridiculous. Three of my favorite professor quotes: "I can tell you one thing you don't want to give someone you love for Valentine's day... AN STD! Trust me, I made that mistake in college." "Ladies, don't ever let him give you flowers or chocolate... that's Shakespeare's fault. Don't settle for anything less than a porsche." "Let's just say, if you're ever near a Spartan, don't bend over in the shower." nov 30 2010
user picture larissa: Oh my gosh. Those are hilarious. I love other people's quotes that make you laugh EVEN if you weren't there. Some teachers are so great.