The funniest things that have ever come out of the mouth of my most favorite professor. <3

• "...with you and your cats."-student
  • "Cat. I am not a crazy cat lady."-Weiss
• "Feb 3."
• "I drugged them before you got here."
• "See ya undergrads nice knowin ya."
• "How can men be rebellious?"-Katie Joy
  • "Abandon your family!!!"-Weiss
• "Let me just talk while I chew with my mouth full. Ok I'll swallow."
• "Blahdy, blahdy, blahdy, blah."
• "Our children will grow up to be little psychopaths. I overstate."
• "I don't usually mark up papers in my on-line classes, so if you haven't had me live, you're in for a treat."
• "If you don't like your grade, don't cry about it. Well, you can cry, but not in front of me."
• "Has the Internet made you all drug addicts and prostitutes? I hope so."
• "How did I write my college papers? Go to library. Look in book. Look in magazine. Typewriter. White-out. Pain in ass."
• "Let's see what Mr. John said." (In reference to John McCain.)
• "I apologize for its oldness."
• "If this is your first class with me you're in for a treat."
• "Come on, word fans!!!"
• "Now that you have an iphone you look like a better person."
• "I don't want to go back to riding my horse."
• "People ask me, 'How did you live without an ipod?'" (Said in some British/gay/Easterner accent)
• "Why is he still talking? Oh, because I haven't shut his box."
• "The people who are kicking gingers are models."
• "Watch out for ganster violence. It may be the worst kind."
• "I love it when the world follows my lesson plan."
• "Larissa, I'm not trying to be your mother..."
• "The sad little cheese stands alone." (About Evan, Cody, and I when we sat by ourselves in the middle of the class.)
• "Is MTV turning me into a ganstuh?"
• "He was such a media whore."
• "I don't think there is a causal relationship between him dying and MTV being started the next year."
• "It's really easy to knife someone in this country."
• "In Portland they had a naked bike ride to raise awareness for something."-Allie
  • "Clothing?"-Weiss
• "People who are born with both parts become an issue because we don't know how to talk to them."
• "Alrighty kids."
• "Where did you grow up?"-Weiss
  • "Las Vegas."-Edward
  • "THEY HAVE JEWS IN LAS VEGAS!!!!"-Weiss (After Edward told him they didn't.)
• "Is it true you horde your money?"-Stacy (joking.)
  • "Yes. And I drink the blood of Christian children."-Weiss
• "You can't unring the bell."
• "I'm a Jew. We run the banking industry and Holly Wood. We're smart. And non of us are athletic."
• "'Hi, Mom!' 'Oh, hi....That was my slightly developmentally disabled daughter.'" (After watching a TV clip with a person in the background making the shocker at the camera. PS. He doesn't know what "the shocker" is. Also, I like how he referred to himself as "Mom" and not "dad." Classic.)
• "You have all this oil and extra crap in your body and it all comes out and bleh."-Weiss
• "I wish I looked like that. Oh I don't look like that. I'm worthless." -Weiss while looking through "Men's Health" magazine.
• "I know it feels very thick. That's because it is."-Weiss
• "I would like to see something that equally portrays John Kerry as a douche."-Weiss
• "I typically like offending everyone."-Weiss
• "I brought something with me. Not with me. Metaphorically. Well, uh....It's over there. Um...uh...it..uh.....it's on the ....... uh...The Internet is over there."-Weiss
  • "Wow, I've never heard you talk like that."-Stacy
• "Let's watch Britney Spears dance around with out any clothes on."-Weiss
• "Anyway, how's the class going so far? Before answering, bear in mind that I have no feelings so I won't be insulted."
• "Frankly, the only reason I made the deadline Friday night was so that I wouldn't ruin your holiday weekends. But if you're willing to have your holiday weekends ruined, who am I to deprive you?" (About Memorial Day bahahaha)
• "I'm trying to be nice to everyone.....as you can see."
• "Hooray for Larissa!!" (About me being a mass comm major bahaha)
• "I usually try to disguise my humanity but this time I just couldn't."
• "Can anyone read my mind?"-Weiss
  • "One way communication."-me
  • "Yes!!! Again, hooray for Larissa!!!"-Weiss
• "In my day...insert old man voice..."-Weiss
• "Watch your mail for more fun adventures in the wacky world of media!!!"-Weiss
• "As of 5:45 everything I say will be of earth shattering importance!"
• "He does get caught up in his historical underwear."
• "Bollywood is sexy."
• "Ah, Nepal. The wonders of Kathmandu. The lofty Himalaya. There, are you in the mood?"
• "I decided not to run this assignment through the complexifier."
• "I started watching it four years ago and got hooked. I mean I do other things, too."

TBC, no worries.