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I will crawl, there's things that are worth giving up I know; but I won't let this get me, I will fight. You live the life you're given with the storms outside. Somedays all I do is watch the sky.

larissa follows:
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Elaine autobio (My Bucket List)
  • knowing that i'm going to have to be in a specific lane for an upcoming turn and not being in that lane immediately.
    • that probably makes zero sense. basically, if i have to make a right hand turn, and i'm in the left lane, i get real nervous until i'm in the correct lane.
  • driving behind people.
  • people driving behind me.
    • both of these things because no one knows how to drive besides me and i do not want to be caught behind, in front of, between some stupid idiot.
  • blind intersections.
    • because people have to park their stupid car at the corner or they have some massive 900 year old tree covering it up.
  • messes and clutter. i cannot live in those conditions.
  • setting alarms. i know i'm going to do it wrong and not wake up. i just know it.
  • boiling eggs. i leave them in for like 3 hours because i am afraid they won't be cooked all the way.
  • thinking about how other people interact.
    • mostly because i can be shy until i'm comfortable around people.
    • so thinking of how i would interact with people that i don't know, and especially in an awkward situation like dinner, oh my gosh. i get ten kinds of anxious and nervous.
  • this also stems from being uncontrollably nervous about being as close as i am to evan, to anyone else.
      • jeez i suck at words.
    • i cannot imagine anyone else knowing me as well as he does, and likewise, knowing anyone as well as i know him.
    • and thinking about how i'd have to put all the hard work, love, and hurt into another relationship stresses me out.
  • thinking about working in a place that doesn't fit me.
    • e.g. casino, sports store, car place
    • and whenever i drive by one i think about it. and get really nervous.
  • public speaking.
  • using debit, credit, and gift cards.
    • i am always pretty positive that they are not going to work. and that .02 sec delay before it is "accepted" i freak out a little on the inside.
  • The bottom (floor?) of a pool. They are always cracked, peeling, dirty, and gross. I have to literally inspect it before I can walk on it. And even if it is clean and not chipped and peeling I can usually still not walk on it. I have to walk tippy toed in a pool.
dec 23 2009 ∞
mar 22 2010 +
user picture Cherry: My apartment would make you nervous. Messy and full of clutter. I laughed at the gift card thing. I feel like that EVERY time I go through airport security even though I've never got anything to hide. dec 30 2009