• 1. Find the lesson.

Every person or situation, no matter how much they may break your heart or drive you crazy, is here to teach you something.

We are energy manifested in a physical form. Before we come into these bodies, we have an idea of the lessons we need to learn and who's going to teach us.

Instead of harping on why your relationship didn’t work out, be introspective and look at what that person was here to teach you. Your ex may be long gone, but the lesson remains and that lesson becomes a vital component to your growth and evolution going forward.

• 2. Put down the pint of ice cream and feel your feelings.

Given my history of emotional paralysis, crying is not one of my top 10 things to do. As a result, I have had my history of emotional eating. Let’s get real, letting go can be emotionally ridden. It’s a loss of former self and a person you may never see again. Let yourself grieve! Over time, if you're not releasing your emotions, they get repressed and can start to impact you physically, not ideal.

• 3. Be patient.

In Western society, where productivity and getting s**t done reigns supreme, there's often the mantra that we just need to “get over” stuff. Not in my book.

When we are growing, looking back on the past can be more disturbing and produces additional opportunities to let go some more. It can be frustrating (I thought I was over this!) but look at it as a way to take out your emotional trash and travel towards that next relationship sans extra baggage.

• 4. Ditch the girlie mags and go with your gut.

If you need to see you ex for closure/additional letting go, then do it. After 11 months of zero contact with my ex, I felt the need to reconnect. There are many mags out there that would say this was crazy or unnecessary. For me, I needed to see him again. I needed to see that he hadn’t changed a bit and that his emotional limitations and lack of desire to work on himself were still there.

Was it heartbreaking to see that he was exactly the same as I left him?

Yes.

Did it provide additional opportunities to let go of him and what that relationship represented?

You betcha! By doing so, I create more space for the next dude who meets me where I am in my evolutionary process to walk through the door. Woo-hoo!

• 5. Embrace your manifestation mojo.

Set your intentions for the future. Get clear on what you want from the next guy. Look at what didn’t work in your past relationship and set the intention to find a guy is capable of giving you what that last relationship did not.

For example:

What you might be saying now: My ex-boyfriend was emotionally unavailable and drank all the time instead of dealing with his emotions.

Intention: I am with a guy who has the self-awareness and perseverance to work on himself. He is open to energy, consciousness and meditation.