I want to remember all the silly dreams I have. My subconscious is very creepy, I apologize.

• june 23 - Calvin came over to my house bc he broke up with his girlfriend. We cuddled and made out a little. Next thing I know we're chilling outside of a university waiting for One Direction to come out. I saw Niall and Louis first, then Harry came out and girls were going crazy. I remember wondering what I was going to tweet and thinking I should have got a picture. I got pulled away and we went to find our car. Next thing I know Harry is walking next to us, talking to us and I almost fainted. Suddenly I'm in a Jurassic Park car with my family. My mom is yelling about how we need to go meet someone at the airport and we are going like 100 miles per hour. We were driving towards the ocean and our car drove on the bottom of the ocean just fine. When we got out of the ocean we were in a desert and were jumping across sand dunes, still going 100 mph. We finally got to the airport and looked like a navy carrier ship, but it was a building. I got lost and found myself around a bunch of people taking photo ops with someone. I thought it was Piper from OITNB, but I got closer and realized that it was Louis. He was whining about how sick he was to his manager. He walked right by me and his manger was saying "it's arite, mate. we'll get some onion soup fixed right up" and Louis kept repeating "onion soup" in different voices. I followed him to the top floor and there was a table set up for an interview and tons of press.

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• june 6 - I think I woke up in a different time because I remember it being like how the characters in Once Upon a Time woke up in Storybrooke. I was in my apartments but everything was different and I was wondering where Hook was. (I was dating him in the past life I guess?) My friend Holly called me and asked me to come see her. When I went outside my parking lot was flooded and looked like a lake. When I opened the door to Holly's house, I saw Hook. I ran up to him and kissed him. I heard screaming outside so I ran out and someone was in the flooded parking lot. I jumped in to get them and I got my leg caught on a half circle piece of metal with thick, sharp hooks on it. Hook came and saved me and the parking lot drained.

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• may 19 - Drove on the bus to a show in Tokyo with 1D. Zayn was there and was talking about how him and Louis made up and are very close now. Harry talked bad about crazy fans. Their tour manager wanted them to go take photo ops but they wanted to hangout with me instead. We went to the zoo and explored around the city. I remember feeling so happy because we finally all got to hangout alone. After we were done exploring we went back to the bus and hung out for a little while until the manager told me to leave. I went to back to my trailer and found XTREME Grape Vodka (i like making up alcohol beverages in my dreams i guess). I went on Facebook and invited them to come get drunk with me. I got a message back saying "I don't know how we can swing that." I was almost crying but it turns out I invited all of my friends to get drunk with me and they didn't reply yet. I was over it and took a nap instead. When I woke up Niall came and got me and invited me to dinner. We were suddenly in London and went to a vegan restaurant. I remember being so caddy to everyone because I was with him and they weren't. Niall and I hung out for a couple of days, doing all kind of fun stuff. I got a call from their manager and told me I had to take a test to prove my loyalty. Suddenly I was on a boat and had to find 1D without any maps or GPS. I was having a panic attack and then ran into a pole leaving the dock. Niall apologized the next day and we went and met up with the rest of the guys, besides Harry bc I remember wondering where he was. Liam told me that he wanted me to go to his house with him. On the drive he told me about his family and told me the rest of them would meet up later. I remember being excited to see Harry. When everyone got there I was acting nonchalant and trying low-key to get Harry's attention. I went to swim in the pool and Harry followed me. We talked a little and I remembered that I forgot to shave my legs. I went in the house to ask one of his sisters for a razor. Harry followed me into the bathroom. I couldn't find my clothes. Liam and Louis also came into the bathroom and started rapping. Harry kept messing up and was very upset about it.

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• may 10 - Went to a mall in Salt Lake City and 1D was playing. They were on top of the union train station. Harry pointed at me and smiled. In the last song Zayn came out and everyone freaked out bc he was back. I went straight to the airport after the show. I saw Louis in this room and he was carrying a baby and was motioning to me how cute it was. I acted out "kick the baby" and he laughed. There were a lot of fans trying to find them and they were all hiding. Louis came up to me wearing a full body suit and gave me a hug, telling me not to tell anyone. Their manager finally got them together, then Louis and Niall ran away and I tried to follow them. I ran through this yellow room that had little capsules that you could Skype and stuff in. I saw Doug from Married at First Sight with a dildo up his bum on Skype.

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• apr 23 - My little brother and sister died in a mudslide. I woke up crying.

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• apr 21 - Hung out with Zayn and we talked about him leaving 1D. We made out and I watched their sound check in a very huge arena. They wanted to cover a Sam Smith song and they wanted Louis to do most of the solos. After sound check, I went home and my roommates surprised me with tickets to a private show. (I don't know why I was so excited bc I literally just got done seeing them) Went to a small venue that was attached to a nursing home. I was front row and I remember being very happy about that, even though there were like 10 people there. They joked a lot between songs and the owner of the nursing home kept bringing them food to eat. I asked her to bring me cereal and I shared it with them. We played games after the show. Harry didn't know how to use a microwave.

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• apr 14 - Tyler and I were visiting Brooke in California. She told us she had a surprise and that Tyler would love it. Next thing you know someone knocks on the door and it's Aerosmith but there were about 12 of them. (They were Tyler's fav band in the dream but not irl.) They played a show in her living room and then slept over. They were all over the place. I got out of the shower and was walking around naked when one of the band member's wife saw me and hit on me. Then her husband found me and asked for a threesome.

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• apr 10 - I attended college that was located in a mall/boardwalk. I was walking around and I see Austin. I walked past him and we made eye contact. Then we both acted like we were talking to friends so we could stand by each other and stare some more. We did that for a while until he finally came over and talked to my friends. Then we walked off together and laughed and flirted. Tyler saw me and he was mad.

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• apr 1 - I was dating Harry Styles (yas) and we were hanging out. He was going to Malaysia for a music festival and invited me. When we got there they said they couldn't play the festival unless they did a water wading competition. The competition was 7 hours long and people often drowned. Michael Scott and Dwight were on our team. Dwight died. I was almost drowning then I woke up.

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• mar 31 - Went to high school to put on an assembly because Calvin lived there and I wanted to make out with him. Pam and Angela from The Office helped me prepare. A lot of celebrities came to the assembly. I met Joseph Gordon Levitt and Aziz Ansari.

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• mar 26 - Regina from Once Upon a Time tried to kill me. I left and worked for Conan O'Brien. Saw a group of guys I had a crush on when I was in high school. We hung out by a pool. I had sex with one of them. There was blood everywhere.

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• feb 28 - Had to go back to high school because they lost my credits. My whole family flew out for the occasion. Jeff was the principal and he rearranged the school like a maze. Music room was in a tower. Had to use force fields to get there and they would go away when you were late. Had to jump on platforms to get the the actual class. Chris Pratt was there and apparently we were dating. Had to run super fast to make sure we didn't die.

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• feb 20 - Sat by One Direction during an award show (might have stole seats I remember feeling nervous). Flirted with Harry Styles and he liked it. Wanted to selfie w/ them and show off but couldn't. He gave me VIP passes and then we played tag and hide and seek before their show.