⠀⠀⠀ for some reason i seem to have forgotten about my childhood, and basically my past, my memory sucks. so i will write down (in no particular order) all the happy memories i recollected through reminiscing the time i had lost

• my first ever memory was me running around luneta park with my mom and my little brother
• we had an mp3 player and my mom would let me listen to pussycat dolls if it'll help me go to sleep
• my mom took a video of my father brushing my hair for a very unnecessary long time
  • my father gave me a pink shirt that said "someone who loves me very much went to _ and got me this shirt", and whenever i wear it and read it i always cry because i missed him and he's always away — i was very young and i was a crybaby lol
• when i was in fifth grade, my first migraine was triggered by a super foul smelly unwashed sock my uncle made me sniff because he thought it was funny. the migraine was so bad that the next day i puked at class and my teacher had to clean it up and made me drink hot water
• my brother and i were addicted to y8 and we'd play multiplayer games all the time. our favorite was the one with a cat and a dog and we'll throw fish bones and trash to our characters to win.
• when i heard the news that michael jackson is dead i held my teddy bear and cried lmfao
• when my dad was away he'd video call us from time to time, then he shows me and my brother the things he bought for us to send through package. he'll buy us clothes and toys — an opposable barbie doll for me, and he'll also show us all the video games he bought for our ps2, though i think my brother is the only one who's super excited about it lol. but i liked playing killzone and tekken
• the reason i don't like exposing my feet while sleeping is because one christmas eve, we were sleeping, and i had my feet dangling off the bed, then a sudden, loud, laughter came from outside. now that i remember it, i think it was just a someone parading around the streets with a santa claus laughing track, but it horrified me so much as a child
• my grandmother worked at a salon abroad, and everytime we visit her when she comes home, she'll manicure my nails and curl my hair and do my makeup — she always does it with a blue eyeshadow and a dark red lipstick lol. but when i grew older, she cut my hair to a short boyish cut and i looked so ugly in it.
• our father took a picture of our youngest brother when he was a newborn, he showed it to us and asked us "isn't he cute?". i thought he was so ugly and red like a tomato that's about to burst but i just agreed lol.
• reading wattpad fanfics until dawn when i was in highschool
  • my first doomed yaoi experience was reading 'they both die at the end' (i wasn't aware of yaoi at the time lol i wasn't chronically online back then)
  • i read 'the bell jar' for fun but i didn't really understand it lol
• when i was in third year highschool i watched 'jennifer's body' with my classmates during a break (my first doomed yuri experience??? lol) and i was so enamored by the band (my first love for depictions of bad ambitious people with evil intentions but i get blinded because they're cool??? lol). then a couple days later i heard 'she looks so perfect' by 5sos on the radio and it was such a cathartic experience for me