• wearing someone else's clothes
  • not flushing after using a public urinal
  • being called "buddy" by strangers
  • alphabetizing things
  • expressions that use both "fuck" and "shit"
    • fuck this shit
    • what the fuck is this shit?
    • holy fucking shit
    • shit-eating motherfucker
    • fucked the shit out of bears
  • reading over people's shoulders on public transit
  • folding things into nine sections
  • walks of shame
  • wearing a sweatshirt without a shirt under it
  • pulling the cord on buses when it's my stop (pressing the button is less fun)
  • watching steam rise from my urine outside in cold weather
  • the word "choc-o-late" pronounced as three syllables
  • poorly-written food journalism
  • an overripe peach
  • kicking off my shorts and catching them
  • potatoes as an ingredient in other carbohydrates (pierogies, fried rice, pasta, etc...)
  • listening to non-americans try to imitate american accents, especially australians
  • addressing envelopes
  • pulling out a really big nosehair
  • giving directions using the cross street (it's ON clement AT second)
  • abruptly and theatrically pivoting to change direction, bonus points if nobody is around
  • false cognates
  • typing something very quickly
    • especially an e-mail, especially sending it without proofreading
  • answering a security question to recover my password
  • participating in some sort of transaction online and then the online confirmation comes to my e-mail faster than I can even switch tabs to my e-mail
  • putting people on hold
  • receiving quarters as change
  • the cover of every issue of o: the oprah magazine, ever
  • going through a metal / library book detector without setting it off
  • being in a car with the four-way flashers on
  • the look on someone's face as they are being forced to eat something that they really don't want to eat
  • seats that recline electrically
  • sentences that are unambiguously questions but don't use question marks
  • sneakers with dress clothes
  • days in lab when the air handling is all messed up and the pressure is either really low or really high so that the doors fly open or swing shut
  • crunchy ground
  • power locks
  • pressing the "walk" button to cross telegraph and instantly turning the light yellow so all the cars have to stop
  • chiasmus
  • sticking my tongue between my lips tightly as if I'm about to blow a raspberry... right before I sneeze. try it sometime.
  • phrases in which every word has the same number of letters, especially if it's 5
  • laying on my stomach and holding a mug between my feet
  • using a shop-vac
  • using "effect" as a verb
  • diagonals
  • writing out number words on checks
  • patronizing establishments with neon martini glass signs
  • chopping up credit cards
  • butterfly bandages, fingertip bandages
  • using a paper slicer
  • when wine is served in an ice bucket
nov 29 2008 ∞
aug 10 2018 +
user picture Colin: I TOTALLY AGREE about "fuck and shit." and oh god, fucked the shit out of bears! it's been a long time. dec 18 2008
user picture Colin: also i meant to punctuate it "'fuck' and 'shit'" but you know
user picture Moss: Wow. I really love this list! aug 23 2009
user picture emily.irene: I love this list! I totally agree about the 'fuck' and 'shit usage; its like a rush when I get to use them both. Me and my friend started just saying, "The fuck is this shit?" instead of "WHAT the fuck is this shit?" Its even better. dec 8 2009