• I want my wine glass to break when I drop it, because otherwise how will I know I'm alive.
  • all this stuff made me wonder what seemingly unexplainable things I do that are actually just parasites trying to reproduce.
  • (re: names of deities) I know. "God"...who came up with that one
  • I think all the violence was brought on by a combination of factors, including the depressed economic situation, failure to integrate into French society, your mix CD, racism...
  • Sometimes I cut myself while opening wine bottles. Jesus, it's disgusting all written out like this!
  • and then there's silence and you realize you have nothing interesting left to say and might not ever again.
  • I have been feeling like there's going to be an earthquake soon... every time the house shakes a little bit when someone slams a door somewhere I'm like, here it is.
  • shana reviews cormac mccarthy's the road
    • i agree...i was with the mom--shoot the kid, then the parents can kill each other so they don't have to live in eternal suffering until they ultimately die a "natural" death. that would be love, not dragging him around crazy nightmare land.
    • i also got the impression that the people are religious and supposed to be somehow Other. but i think it totally makes sense for them to take kids in--if they don't, who will care for them when they're old and protect them from the woods and the gangs and things?
    • this was the most cynical book review ever.
  • regarding this: Yeah, but I wouldn't worry too much--the chances of it falling on someone NASA or the US govt care about are much smaller than that.
  • A tv that is just on a constant loop of stationary alcohol ads is usually enough to make me ignore my friends.
  • I kind of wonder about copyright issues though, but then again my brain has been poisoned by law school.
  • this is literally what we do every day in contracts--try to stick it to the cuban revolution
  • on trial by combat: it doesn't seem like the woman actually has an advantage if she's going up against a guy with a sword when her weapon is a fistful of rocks wrapped in some laundry that she swings around.
  • Thanks for the idea of sending a Christmas card, Sam. It's the idea of the thought that counts.
  • Raffi's laughing all the way to the community-owned bank.
  • never going out to eat with rand paul, in case he is prophetic.
  • This diet violates the first rule of being human: everybody poops!
  • some reporter will find my Xanga and awful photos of me and I'll be forced to relive how lame I was for my whole life up to like yesterday or so
  • yeah, i totally don't get how you train dogs to do the things they do. if i were in their situation, i would be completely useless and sad all the time. they pretty much roll with it. dogs are awesome.
  • You saw The Hours, right? I kind of hated it, but I appreciate that it was the kind of thing I would like if I had better taste.
  • I guess it's also a false dichotomy: chewing your food time vs. Twitter time. How DOES Glenn Greenwald have time for both though??
  • Yeah my first thought was "he is killing and rendering the fat of homeless people. but where do the fruit trees come from?"
  • "scalia, suck my dick" "this will never work" "WTF" "are you a human"--that kind of stuff. it's fun! i feel like i'm engaging in dialogue with whatever dumb fuck wrote the opinion. lawyering skills!
  • How do we feel about Polk? He might be the president I know the least about, since his name I guess prevented me from inquiring further than: rhymes with yolk, reminds me of polka dots, how did the polka become associated with Pennsylvania, what would I do if I kept waking up on the same day like Bill Murray in Groundhog's Day?
  • they are articulating a religious philosophy about how to avoid going to to hell, and humans just cannot get enough of that shit."
  • Haha--I don't know if this is a reference to something, but it had the cadence of a joke.
  • on sam biddle: "Would I do it again? Sure. Would I do it again if for some reason I had to consider the consequences of my actions? I dunno, I've never even thought about considering the consequences of my actions." No wonder the internet sux, if this tastemaker and writer of think pieces is who we look to for insight on how to behave.
  • on earthquakes: I mean, I guess we would have tried to run, but maybe it would have been better to just brain ourselves with rocks while yelling Fuck you ocean! You'll never take us alive!
  • on richard feynman: WE GET IT FEYNMAN. Your entire life is one big jerking off motion, we don't need the whole resume.
  • I actually don't care about the letters after my name (though it is something, like having a lot of keys, that makes me feel abstractly accomplished)
  • i would like to see an evolutionary biologist or psychologist explain this, since they seem like they've got a smug answer for everything.
  • Groker is a swirling time vortex of meaning/not-meaning, and staring into its depths reveals only the truths you already carry within yourself
  • what if instead of robots, everybody's job got replaced by slime molds
  • so now I'm like, maybe I am part of the machinery of evil business and my complacency is the true villain, not Adam Driver from Girls.
  • I like that Lori Anderson takes the one part of the story that's true ("Don't make an entire concentration camp get free.") and is like, that is not believable and detracts from the zombie contest of wills, which is the real drama here.
  • this is why i generally go through life looking unkempt and like i'm on way to some ecstatic dance, and why i never get carded anymore.
  • i just want to say before we all die of asphyxiation or fire or whatever the robots do to make that giant pile of skulls in terminator, knowing you has been a true joy in my life.
  • it is really depressing to me that out of everyone alive right now, elon musk is the one who's going to make it into the history books, while all our names and works are forgotten.
  • oh LBJ you dirty weird old goat. i hope you're up in heaven challenging everybody to box with you and see who can fart the loudest.
  • how does adam driver open his mouth so wide?? i thought it was just going to keep expanding until his entire face folded in on itself, like those jackets you can turn inside out and fit inside one of their own pockets.
  • but there's no one asleep at the wheel, because there's no one at the wheel at all and also maybe not a wheel
  • why are the trash wheels eating the moon. the moon is fine
  • on taylor swift: ohhhh wow. i feel like we're in a sequel to like god emperor dune or something, where there's a tyrant that's ruled for thousands of years and is basically now unstoppable, and people are like, we should have stopped her when we had the chance.
dec 17 2010 ∞
dec 22 2018 +
user picture Shana: Haha, I forgot I said that Raffi thing. Thanks for keeping track of my one-liners! feb 28 2013
user picture Shana: That cadence of a joke thing is from Perd Hapley ("more like 'Turd Crapley'") of Parks and Recreation nov 21 2014