• biting my nails
• laughing too loud
• being too honest
• not knowing when to shut the fuck up
• being a music snob
• eating awfully
• hitting people when i laugh
• trying too hard

the smell of

• flowers
• good food
• new books
• cologne
• stupid fabric softener
• fresh air in the morning
• cigarettes
• alcohol on someone else's breath

the sight of

• your pants off
• jensen ross ackles
• a lovely smile
• my delightfully messy hair
• a perfectly rolled joint
• a freaking cute baby
• a full bottle of alcohol

the sound of

• a musical laugh

• walking to school drunk with my friends
• rolling in the grass with my friends at said school and subsequently making an ass out of myself
• basically telling everyone who i was in love with
• slur-singing in my room for hours
• bursting into drunken, pathetic tears when my mom asked what i wanted for dinner
• finishing a long essay and getting drunk to celebrate
• going to church drunk
• taking a video of myself drunk and not remembering later what the fuck i had been doing
• eating a sandwich and thinking about jessica alba

• "superb ass"

• sexy as fuuuuu
• and nice and shit

• i get obsessive
• i curse far too much
• hot guys make me immensely happy
• eyes are my favorite feature
• i like to sing myself to sleep
• sometimes i'm too honest with my friends
• my parents are awful
• i don't like change
• i'll try anything once
• i'm a vegan, or at least i try to be
• i'm a grammar freak in real life, but i can't be bothered on the internet
• kids hate me
• dogs hate me
• everyone hates me
• i dyed my hair to spite my parents
• sometimes my socks don't match
• my favorite color is black
• and not because it's the color of my tortured soul or any fucking shit like that, it's because it's classic and goes with e...

• he's an asshole
• he's an asshole
• he's a selfish asshole
• he's a lazy asshole
• he's a heartless asshole
• he's an abusive asshole
• he never really was a father
• he liked styx and the fucking little river band
• one of his favorite songs was africa by toto
• he likes susie q by ccr
• he prefers marlboro golds
• he drank quite a lot of heineken
• he's still a fucking asshole

• stopped listening to the radio
• became a vegetarian, then a vegan
• bought a velvet underground cd
• introduced my friend to an incredible band
• read the harry potter series
• stopped liking twilight
• acquired a much better taste in music
• finally decided what to do with my life

• fuck (yeah, as if that really fucking happens to me on a regular basis)
• smoke
• drink
• listen to music
• make music
• write
• read
• fuck around with my friends
• complain
• not go to school
• make fun of avril lavigne
• go to amoeba
• sing
• breathe
• blink
• admire your wonderful ass

• superbass by nicki minaj
• little lion man by mumford & suns
• pumped up kicks by foster the people
• someday by nickelback
• any fucking song by nickelback
• closer to the edge by 30 seconds to mars
• rolling in the deep by adele
• love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna
• lazy eye by silversun pickups
• anything by katy perry
• i could seriously go on forever

• new years
• graduation
• second semester
• straight fucking a's, baby
• summer of course
• when my mom nearly shat herself when she found out i dyed my hair without her permission
• the first couple of times i went to amoeba
• when i realized the guy i like knew i existed
• when i quit facebook
• watching the last harry potter film
• i wish i could think of more, but unfortunately it is nearly two am

• beer
• a fresh pack of cigarettes
• a nice pair of jeans
• some old t-shirt faded with memories
• a record player
• my velvet underground poster
• my laptop
• a real good book
• love
• my friends
• some good dank
• a pipe that fits in my pocket nicely
• my beat-up sneakers
• a leather jacket

• not school
• new years
• meeting my prince charming (awwwwwhh, what a loser)
• my wedding and seeing who shows up
• having kids and seeing if i'm a good mom
• getting new clothes for school
• this lame party i'm going to tomorrow regardless of its obscene lameness
• seeing my friends again
• playing at the smell
• when my name is in lights and my face is on some hipster's shirt

• tell a hipster off
• heroin, to see if i can fight the temptation of doing it again
• trick my doctor into giving me soma for medication
• stage dive
• actually dance at a party
• go streaking through the streets at night
• toss my underwear onstage at a concert
• busk in hollywood
• run a marathon
• taco bell, because i've never even stepped foot in one
• own my own dog
• play at the palladium
• serenade somebody

• the feeling you get when you wake up with a stupid smile on your face in the morning
• falling in public and realizing you don't give a shit because it probably looked hilarious
• your favorite song on a record player
• kisses on the side of your mouth
• hearing a baby's laugh
• when you realize you've just gotten hit on
• having a dog lick at your face
• being sung a lullaby as you fall asleep
• the feeling you get when you get to see someone you've missed dearly
• riding a roller coaster
• when you have just glimpsed at someone so unbelievably and inconceivably beautiful and they are staring right back
• having a beer and cigarette on your front porch

• a new record player
• an elvis costello vinyl
• for people to stop having such shitty taste in music
• for me to stop being such a fucking music snob
• fuzzy socks
• a new pair of converse
• little joy on vinyl
• a lava lamp
• and dean winchester waiting for me on my bed

thanks to

• my parents, for like, raising me and stuff
• my father, for never believing in me
• jim morrison, for the constant eargasms
• billie holiday, for teaching me to be myself
• my lovely friends, who always make me smile like a right idiot just when i need to
• sylvia plath, for writing a genius novel
• and myself, because i am obviously amazing and a prime example of the human race

• the dark
• not getting my acceptance letter to hogwarts
• indecision
• uncertainty
• running out of time
• my parents
• being alone

• led zeppelin
• the clash
• the sex pistols
• elvis costello
• the ramones
• the germs
• don't even ask me this fucking question, because i'll go on for days

• i'm a crazy bitch
• i do strange things seemingly for no reason
• i make a lot of mistakes
• i'll let you do whatever the fuck you want, just don't end up in jail
• have the decency to sneak around
• never let me find out whatever the hell it is you're doing
• your favorite band is zeppelin
• it's a risky job being a dealer, so be careful
• life is incredible
• i will yell, scream, bitch, and moan at you, but i swear i will never lay a hand on you
• you're a good kid and
• i love you

• jensen ackles (yum)
• david boreanaz
• jared padalecki
• misha collins
• rupert grint
• robert pattinson (he's fucking hot, admit it)
• james franco
• jason segel
• aaaaand seth rogen just because

• sarah michelle gellar
• demi lovato
• jessica alba
• jenna marbles
• emma watson
• binki shapiro
• karen o

• the internet is a craze
• i understand dirty jokes
• i know where babies come from
• drinking and smoking doesn't seem that awful anymore
• i can't go play at the park without looking like a moron
• bouncy houses are no longer acceptable at my birthday parties
• boys are fucking sexy instead of gross and stupid
• music is the most important thing to me, not toys or ice cream
• i no longer wish to be a flight attendant

• i need to learn to fucking sleep earlier
• jensen ackles is really fucking hot
• school is coming up, my life is coming to an end
• my mother is a raging bitch
• my taste in music is impeccable
• but i'm also a fucking snob
• i miss meat
• i wish i weren't such a virgin
• i miss the philippines
• what's it really like to have a dick?
• i wish i knew how to speak coherently around hot guys
• my teeth are being really weird
• sarah michelle gellar is too sexy for her own good
• what would buffy do?
• i am a fucking loser
• i need to go to fucking sleep instead of making these lists

• jump off a bridge, just to see what it'd feel like
• save someone from a burning building
• drink myself to death
• have all the cigarettes i wanted
• try and see how much dank i can smoke within an hour
• trip on more acid than considered normal
• trash a venue
• piss on a cop car
• sex sex sex and then more sex

• music
• to eventually pop my v-card
• to await my prince fucking charming
• my future kids
• to see if i grow up hot
• adventure
• to rebel
• to do all the things i said i would do
• to see if i can make something of myself

• telling others they cut themselves (it is pure bullshit)
• sending fucking spam
• talking too much
• thinking too much
• being so closed minded
• thinking they are superior to others
• homewrecking
• listening to shitty music
• war
• trying to get me to dance
• being concerned with only themselves
• singing off key
• ruining my life with their perfection
• your mom jokes
• that's what she said jokes
• chuck norris jokes
• any lame fucking jokes at all
• judging based on looks
• "shuffling"
• writing shitty poetry

• jesse mccartney
• jesse mccartney
• jesse mccartney

• 'alison balmadrid: _trainwreck_"

• clingyness
• shitty taste in music
• closed-mindedness
• ignorance
• obnoxiousness
• uptightness
• douchebaggery
• carelessness
• dishonesty
• being too eager to please
• thoughtlessness

• nowhere boy
• control
• in transit :]
• spinal tap
• gimme shelter
• personality crisis
• the kids are alright
• almost famous

• jesse mccartney
• ian somerhalder
• nick jonas
• sam winchester
• then the lovely dean winchester
• thomas sangster
• carl barat
• aaron johnson
• oh my god i'm pathetic
• yeah, okay
• lastly, julingus whitehouses

• never ending fucking adventure
• a job that makes me happy
• someone to complain to and laugh my ass off with
• chubby grandchildren
• a new fucking record player

• not seeing you in my bed
• pervs on the internet
• twitter
• the fact that i have no life whatsoever
• people trying to be funny
• facebook and the awful people i see on it
• a really good song (it makes me sad in a good way)
• missing the last bus and having to take the next train
• when i'm not listening to the velvet underground
• that everybody knows i'm a femme fatale and the things i do to please
• watching someone doing lines
• the sixth season of supernatural because it was so awful
• not seeing you in my bed

• "get the fuck off the planet, you fucking hipster!"
• "why are there so many pretentious fucking people at starbucks?"
• "i am so fucking in love with this guy!"
• "that's a shitty ass shirt!"
• "my friends are the fucking best!"
• "anyone up for an orgy?"
• "i'm single and ready to mingle!"
• "zeppelin, fuck yeah! you like them? gimme your number, we need to have sex..."

• becoming an accountant
• becoming an actress/singer/fasion icon (oh, PLEASE)
• becoming a flight attendant
• living in a mansion
• marrying jesse mccartney and having loud passionate sex that turned the neighbors on
• starring in my own show
• becoming a doctor
• having this awesome walk-in closet i could get lost in
• finally owning a damn dog

• when you're not here
• when i realize you're still wearing clothes
• when i wake up and you're not next to me
• when you're wearing shades and i can't see your eyes
• when i can't reach your lips 'cause you're too tall
• when you talk about bands you secretly like but i find incredibly shitty and have to pretend otherwise
• when you make me laugh when i'm trying to be mad
• when you are STILL wearing clothes
• (no, but seriously, that really bugs me)
• and lastly, when i can't get a fucking burger

• get fucking drunk in the morning
• smoke to stay awake
• listen to my favorite record
• take a hot shower
• put on my shittiest (also most comfortable) clothes
• eat all the fucking fried chicken i want
• then have pizza
• ignore the guilt
• get obscenely baked with my friends
• laugh as the world ends

• this latin band rbd
• ace of base
• abba
• steve miller band
• styx
• bad company
• creedence clearwater revival
• the beegees
• fleetwood mac
• robin thicke

• you
• jensen ackles's face
• music
• weed and alcohol
• old, awful pictures of myself when i was younger
• shopping at amoeba
• billie holiday's voice
• your voice
• bunnies
• a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig
• dora the explorer
• jared padalecki's ass
• your ass
• porn, so i can laugh at it

• playing dress-up
• double dutch
• writing fan fiction
• fucking around with my mom's makeup
• playing violin
• writing shit poetry for this boy who probably didn't even like me
• collecting fuzzy socks
• being a serious bitch
• listening to shitty ass music
• reading (i seriously need to catch up)
• crushing on super mario
• being obsessed with facebook

• mean girls
• the last harry potter film
• the hangover
• the hangover 2
• white chicks
• dazed & confused
• she's the man
• the forty-year-old virgin
• click

• looking old, obviously
• not being able to run or jump into the air excitedly (i tend to do that a lot)
• the receding hairline
• not being hit on anymore
• when i realize i've just given some long lecture to some kid
• being BORING
• eventually needing a damn cane
• watching my kids make bad decisions
• having people help me up
• feeling like doing absolutely nothing
• getting old and grumpy
• losing my hearing
• my fucking TEETH
• no longer having a good excuse to dress like a semi-ho
• the possibility of living alone
• the possibility of DYING alone
• the fact that time is running out for me

• kiss you endlessly
• take a warm shower
• go outside and admire the sun
• listen to my favorite record
• not worry about a single thing
• have you tell me a story
• listen to you sing
• curl up outside and pretend we can see stars in the city's empty night sky

• don't get too clingy
• be honest
• be open-minded
• be yourself
• treat them like royalty and then
• desperately hope they don't dump you

• life is fucking good

• "she was fucking sexy"
• "i wish i got to see those incredible titties"
• "a real fucking shame, she was the best i ever had, man"
• "yo, i heard she liked that barry white shit, that guy's fucking awesome"
• "what was her name again?"

• getting scolded at by my pre-k teacher for doing my work too fast and sloppy
• my bracelet snapping on me on my wrist right before i was supposed to be getting an award for my kindergarten graduation
• my bitch babysitter (and, i swear to god) pulling a knife on me and laughing at me
• getting a staple stuck in my skin at school
• getting lost after school and having to find my own way back home
• my father telling me to pull his belt out of the drawer so he could (i swear to you) beat me with it after i spilled milk on the floor
• my mother slapping me repeatedly across the face when i (and this a real fucking stupid reason to hit your kid) corrected my own work in my kinder class

moral is to never raise your kids in the ...

• my hair
• my laugh
• my taste in music
• my clothes
• that i laugh when i'm nervous
• how i act around hot guys
• that i watch buffy the vampire slayer
• that i read harry potter
• that i complain so much about how i didn't get into pottermore
• that i have a tumblr
• my tendency to curse like a sailor
• my huge fucking feet
• my height
• and my wonderfully chinky eyes

• latin music
• dancing like a fucking idiot in my room
• disney movies
• '80s pop music
• rollerskating
• boys with accents
• electronica
• singing in the shower
• making stupid lists

• nickelback
• of montreal, their name fucking sucks
• limp bizkit
• coheed and cambria
• blink-182
• slipknot
• black veil brides
• paramore
• breaking benjamin
• my chemical romance
• fall out boy
• avenged sevenfold
• green day
• system of a down
• 30 seconds to mars
• i'm pretty sure there's a shitload more

• watching people fall
• loud laughs
• seeing someone sneeze
• i love lucy
• myself
• my stupid hair when i wake up in the morning
• my friends
• my favorite tv shows
• the little voice in my head
• looking for alaska
• the song careless whisper
• hearing someone else sing in the shower
• watching someone lose their shit and flip out
• my mother when she yells at me
• when my feet get tickled
• when people can't dance

• "i'm never gonna dance again the way i danced with you"
• "there's nothing wrong with me loving you"
• "it's not warm when she's away"
• "i need your love, godspeed your love to me"
• "you are the wind beneath my wings"
• "and our hearts, they beat as one"
• "it was the heat of the moment telling me what my heart meant"
• "why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?"
• "i love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow"
• "i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes, love is all around me and so the feeling grows"
• "i'm all out of love, i'm so lost without you"
• "alllll byyyy myseeeeeelf, don't wanna be...

• the amanda show
• losing my mom at target
• scary movie trailers on television
• my mother
• my father
• root beer, because i thought there was beer in it
• turning into a grape tree after eating grapes with seeds in them
• going to sleep after watching a scary movie
• the show house
• dying alone

• queens of the stone age
• the xx
• little joy
• vampire weekend
• my bloody valentine
• the smiths
• joy division
• the cure
• neutral milk hotel
• pixies
• the white stripes
• slowdive
• the unicorns
• nirvana
• the replacements
• big star

• julian
• albert
• nick
• nikolai
• fab
• jensen ackles
• jared padalecki
• my stuffed animals
• emma watson
• jenna marbles
• megan fox
• and then jules again.

• dubstep seems to work
• anything on souvlaki by slowdive
• no one loves me & neither do i by them crooked vultures
• skin on skin by queens of the stone age
• practically everything else by queens of the stone age
• oh! by the breeders
• sister ray by the velvet underground
• can't get enough by bad company
• sugar water by cibo matto
• jackie blue by ozark mountain daredevils
• ooh la la by goldfrapp
• sexual healing by marvin gaye
• criminal by fiona apple

• buffy and angel
• supernatural
• how i met your mother
• true blood
• the office
• freaks and geeks
• that 70s show
• malcolm in the middle
• misfits
• skins
• doctor who
• family guy
• south park
• alias

lovely people i look up to in terms of fashion and shitz:

• demi lovato
• julingus whitehouses
• basically all of the strokes
• buffy summers
• audrey hepburn
• binki shapiro

• your face
• middle school, even though i refuse to admit it
• the 80s, even though i hadn't even been born yet
• my old room
• my shitty bleached hair
• the cute guy that used to live next door
• cheetos
• pizza
• eating buckets of bread
• pb&js
• my old old old old converse
• summer '10 when i first started getting into music
• being twelve
• the philippines
• drinking nonstop
• smoking after school out on my backyard
• my old math teacher
• my earphones that i have now broken

• drink
• drink
• smoke
• listen to the velvet underground
• hang out with my lovely friends
• not think about school
• in fact i don't even want to mention it in this list, i hate it that much

• alison by elvis costello (partly because my name is alison. o_o)
• my girl by the temptations
• ain't no sunshine by bill withers
• dream a little dream of me by the mamas and the papas
• unchained melody by the righteous brothers
• jackie blue by ozark mountain daredevils
• brick house by the commodores

um. embarrassing.

• fall in love with you
• like abba
• laugh when people fall
• judge when people have shit taste in music
• listen to what people say
• like dumb indie bands
• waste my time and money
• make fun of hipsters
• give in to the urge of eating a million chicken wings
• give up on trying to look decent every day
• get lost in your eyes
• make stupid lists such as this one

• crying myself to sleep
• getting into a stupid fight with my mom
• lying straight through my teeth to my parents, repeatedly
• making someone cry because i was being inconsiderate
• getting pantsed in front of everyone
• tripping and falling in class
• making fun of some little kid because i was feeling particularly pretentious
• listening to lady gaga and liking it

• biting my nails
• telling my mom i brushed my teeth when i really didn't
• writing shitty fucking poetry
• cursing too much (i still do)
• making fun of people to try and be cool
• listening to lady gaga (it's like fucking blasphemy now)
• reading twilight
• obsessing about how hot edward was
• lying to impress

• your bed
• venice
• japan
• home back in the philippines
• reading and fucking leeds
• bermuda
• chicago
• lawrence, kansas
• sunnydale
• and then your bed again

• get my face pushed into the cake
• have a bouncy house
• cry in my room listening to revolver in the middle of my party
• have painfully embarrassing karaoke
• kiss someone
• get a massive headache after smoking too much
• OD on rotisserie chicken
• nearly die of laughter
• eat shitty cake
• blush like a moron when happy birthday is sang to me

• tell everyone that jesse mccartney was my boyfriend
• fall in public so people would look at me
• curse in every single sentence
• wear my hood every time i went out
• make fun of people who didn't deserve it
• threaten to start a fight
• listen to all time low and pretend i had really good taste
• dye my hair
• tell everyone i played guitar when i only really knew like three chords
• tell everyone i spoke like four languages
• tell everyone i was actually part spanish (i was a fucking liar as a kid)
• pretend i had a boyfriend (dear fucking god)

• jarvis cocker
• ezra koenig
• jensen fucking ackles
• misha collins
• andrew vanwyngarden
• emma watson
• demi lovato (no joke)
• emma stone
• jared padalecki
• michael cera

• you
• you
• my hamster snowy, who i inadvertently killed
• watching buffy the vampire slayer
• easy fucking homework
• my seventh grade english teacher
• double dutch
• bouncy houses on my birthdays
• cake
• meat
• eating pizza without shame
• pineapples
• you
• you

• "never believe you are the best, for that is your sole downfall."
• "always strive for perfection in everything you do."
• "never take anything too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway."
• "pleasure is the only thing one should live for. nothing ages like happiness."
• "get money, fuck bitches."

• their first thoughts in the morning
• if they even liked their jobs
• their favorite songs to sing to each other
• if they thought about each other a lot whenever they were apart
• how they survived without the internet
• how they spent christmases
• their favorite music
• if the best day of their lives was with each other
• and how happy they were, really

• how rock and roll has saved my soul
• good food
• my mother, i guess
• my friends
• the brilliance of literature
• sliced bread

• jim morrison singing "touch me, babe, can't you see that i am not afraid?" but mostly it's
• your laugh
• you saying my name
• you cursing and then apologizing
• you humming
• you singing me a song
• and lastly
• your pants falling to the ground

• musician
• musician
• musician
• porn star
• musician

• have sex with jensen ackles
• have sex with jensen ackles
• have sex with jensen ackles
• get stoned as fuck till the cows come home
• have sex with jensen ackles

• when i was dragging my first real guitar into my house
• this year's new year, when i stayed up all night and it just so happened to be the best fucking new year's ever
• my thirteenth birthday party
• the first time i really heard the beatles
• a good new year's eve when i was still in elementary school
• a christmas when i still believed in santa
• my first kiss, just 'cause it was so dumb and sweet
• when i went stealing pumpkins on halloween
• the first time i got high
• my first beer
• the first day of this year's summer vacation
• when i realized the school year was over

• sunnydale, california
• hogsmeade
• the crossroads, so i can sell my soul to a demon
• the island, so i can get LOOOOSSSST in it
• and finally, hogwarts

• the beatles
• the jimi hendrix experience
• the clash
• the libertines
• the unicorns
• pavement
• the velvet underground
• nirvana
• the doors
• there are far too many to think of at nearly two in the morning

• anonymous chat websites
• facebook
• pornsites that makes you pay
• any fucking site that makes you pay
• people complaining about the lack of privacy even though they can easily control it themselves
• little girls lying about their age and interests
• old men lying about their age and interests
• trolls
• that it's filled with whores and liars
• that it's so addicting

• i'm too stubborn
• i'm self-conscious
• i have a temper
• my self esteem is shockingly low
• i curse far too much
• i have trouble discussing feelings and shit
• i overthink
• yet i am reckless
• i don't know when to shut up
• i'm afraid of commitment