1 If I were a month, I would be May.2 If I were a day of the week, I would be Tuesday.3 If I were a time of the day, I would be 6 am.4 If I were a planet, I would be Jupiter.5 If I were a sea animal, I would be an urchin.6 If I were a direction, I would be up.7 If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a couch.8 If I were a sin, I would be lust.9 If I were a historical figure, I would be Winston Churchill.10 If I were a liquid, I would be vinegar.11 If I were a stone, I would be amazonite.12 If I were a tree, I would be a cherry blossom.13 If I were a bird, I would be a penguin.14 If I were a tool, I would be a hammer- strong-willed, steady, good potential.15 If I were a flower, I would be a sunflower.16 If I were a kind of weather, I would be 65 F, rainy with warm wind.17 If I were a musical instrument, I would be a drum kit.18 If I were an animal, I would be a cat.19 If I were a color, I would be violet.20 If I were a vegetable, I would be okra.21 If I were a sound, I would be the telltale heart.22 If I were an element, I would be iron.23 If I were a car, I would be a shiny gold Scion.24 If I were a song, I would be This Sentence Will Ruin/Save Your Life by Born Ruffians.25 If I were a movie, I would be Matilda.26 If I were a book, I'd be Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.27 If I were food (and you are what you eat!) I'd be a chicken and cheese quesadilla with guacamole.28 If I were a place, I would be the pit of a rock concert.29 If I were a material, I would be silk.30 If I were a taste, I would be sweet like brown sugar.31 If I were a scent, I would be bergamot.32 If I were a religion, I would be Taoism.33 If I were a word, I would be a noun.34 If I were a an object, I would be a telescope.35 If I were a body part, I would be a prick.36 If I were a facial expression, I would be a shit-eating grin.37 If I were a subject in school, I would be English.38 If I were a cartoon character, I would be Chuckie Finster.39 If I were a shape, I would be an hourglass.40 If I were a number, I would be a hundred.