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  • "This isn't beer!" -Melisa
  • "I don't like pussy!" -Melisa
  • "Fuck you guys. I have a wet, white ball. I will not lose." -Melisa, during beer pong
  • "Who just turned me on?" -Melisa, when I tickled her
  • "I do not have a roast beef pussy. And it is not purple. I have a great vagina." -Melisa
  • "Jenna and Brandy have seen my tits. And Charlie and Jonah. And they're kind of a big deal. Literally." -Melisa
  • "I just smoked this from the lit end." -Melisa
  • "Jeff, please don't judge me, but my butthole isn't bleached." -Melisa
  • "Please stop calling me a dick. You're hurting my feelings." -Jeff, to a lesbian
  • "I will suck you off like there's no tomorrow. I want you to come... visit." -Meli...
jan 14 2012 ∞
aug 1 2012 +
jul 14 2011 ∞
jan 15 2014 +
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Unbeknownst to them, we students do pay attention. Organized by teacher with newest quotes on top.

Mr. Anderson, European history

  • I think we tend to forget the bad things and only remember the good. That's the reason women have more than one child.
  • Take two pieces of tissue, jam them up there, and just leave it. (to Ivan blowing his nose throughout class)
  • Have you ever gotten one of those fortune cookies that insult you? I love those. Like: There's a reason you have no friends.
  • dialogue
    • McAlister: Shaving is what makes the hair grow longer.
    • Mr. Anderson: Actually, that's not true. I shave my head every day and nothing's growing.
jun 10 2007 ∞
may 25 2009 +
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Usually comical, sometimes thought-provoking.

  • "Getting naked is optional. That's usually something people do on their own." -Andy, on the weirdest things he's seen at Beloit
  • "My dog framed me." -Alex
  • dialogue
    • Charlie: I've had a waitress who was like a ninja. Our glasses would be full and we wouldn't know when that happened.
    • Abby: You were probably stoned.
    • Charlie: You know, I think we were.
  • "I like giving blood because it burns 600 calories." -Abby
  • "It would suck to have to wear a diaper for the rest of your life because you had buttsex." -Abby
  • "You're like a walking encyclopedia of horrible, horrible conversations." -Hugh, t...
aug 18 2009 ∞
jul 18 2010 +
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I might be living in . . .

  • Los Angeles, CA had my father taken custody.
  • St. Marys, GA had Ms. Chun not offered to raise my mother's salary and pay for moving expenses to Jacksonville where she opened a new restaurant.
    • Also, at least two men proposed to my mother and many more were infatuated with her even though she barely spoke any English at the time. To American men, she was an exotic Asian doll.
  • Honolulu, HI had my mother accepted Alan's proposal. He was a bit older, retired from the Navy, a mutual acquaintance through my then godparents. She did not care to marry another Korean man.
  • Virginia Beach, VA had my mother let Uncle Kevin and Auntie Lecky (the godparents mentioned previously) adopt me. Actually, Lecky wanted my sister and Kevin wanted me, but my mother ...
nov 15 2008 ∞
aug 26 2010 +
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In relatively chronological order.

  • Writing my name on the VHS label will make me appear in the movie. Think "Beauty and the Beast" or "Little Mermaid." I don't know how my logic applied to minor characters.
  • Pennsylvania is in the Midwest.
  • Concerning friends: quantity is greater than quality.
  • Grades reflect intelligence.
  • The dead go to heaven. / There is an afterlife.
  • Christianity
  • There is/are no god(s).
    • I've come to the conclusion that you can't be sure, but I do not affiliate myself with any religion.
  • I will not have sex before marriage.
  • My father is an air traffic controller.
apr 28 2007 ∞
may 7 2019 +
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  • dialogue
    • Mikel: Okay, I accept it. His third nipple did not come from a sunburn. After one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine years of believing that.
    • Anna: It's okay. My brother used to tell me that apples didn't have enough nutrition to be a fruit, so I had to eat the sticker. I did that for four or five years.
  • dialogue
    • Margot: Remember that Rugrats episode where the watermelon grew inside Chuckie? I couldn't eat watermelons for a week.
    • Mikel: But now they make 'em seedless.
  • "When Devin and I first started going out, we used to do it everywhere. Now it's the bed. Just the bed." -Shavonne
  • "Did you hear what happened this morning? Debra flipped out on me because I ate he...
jan 20 2011 ∞
jun 4 2012 +
jul 17 2011 ∞
jul 17 2011 +
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Be forewarned: you shouldn't take us seriously.

  • "I think chris has a thing for asian chicks haha on games btw" -Pedro, via text message
  • "I touch my stuff all the time. I like stuff." -Ross
  • dialogue
    • Chris: Look at this jacket. It's so warm.
    • Me: Really? It's so thin.
    • Chris: You're so thin.
  • dialogue
    • Pedro: Whatever you give me, I'll eat it. Unless it's not edible.
    • Chris: Hey, Pedro, would you like some cup?
  • "When you least expect it, I'm gonna wolf hat you." -Chris
jan 6 2010 ∞
may 30 2010 +
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Unbeknownst to them, we students do pay attention. Organized by teacher with newest quotes on top.

Mr. Farmer, IB coordinator

  • There are two components to an IB student: procrastination and good grades.
  • English is all about BSing.
  • The hole punch is coming around, and stick your little green worm into the hole.
  • dialogue
    • Reece: Say I was prostituting my body to teachers for grades.
    • Mr. Farmer: (edges away from Reece)
  • dialogue
    • Mr. Farmer: This is where we use your single sheet of paper to write our ToK essay.
    • Anna: Uh oh. I covered it in mathematics.
may 25 2009 ∞
may 25 2009 +
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  • Graduated from high school with an IB Diploma.
  • Got accepted to all the colleges I applied to. Granted, I applied only to three.
  • Took a risk at Anna's 2011 New Year's party, though it required some coaxing and liquid courage.
    • A milestone. Marked the beginning of some pretty big changes.
  • Came out of my shell, for the most part.
    • It's what got me hired at Starbucks on the spot!
    • Confidence really is attractive and others can sense it.
  • Got promoted after just six months at Starbucks.
  • Ability to get along with just about everyone and make meaningful friendships.
may 2 2011 ∞
jan 14 2012 +
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College is so much better when you have humorous or thought-provoking professors (and classmates).

Professor R. S., Biology I

  • Some of you have test anxiety. Well, there are really only two solutions for that: study well and get a good night's sleep or have a couple of drinks beforehand.
  • (reviewing lab safety) There's supposed to be a fire alarm in here, but I've never been able to find it. There are a bunch of buttons, so just start pushing those.
  • You know that if you get household bleach on your hands—God forbid you get it in your eye—it's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch.
  • This is a graduated pipette. That doesn't mean it went to high school or college.
  • Every action will require at least a small amount of energy. We call that free energy of activation. Or activation energy, ...
jan 23 2011 ∞
oct 15 2011 +
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I am a nomad.

  • San Jose - Jacksonville, FL
  • mobile home - Jacksonville, FL
  • first house - Jacksonville, FL
  • seashell house - Jacksonville, FL
  • apartment - St. Marys, GA
  • bug house (as my mom calls it) - St. Marys, GA
  • Pinehurst - St. Marys, GA
  • Baymeadows - Jacksonville, FL
  • Sunbeam - Jacksonville, FL
  • Finchley - Jacksonville, FL
  • Errol Estates - Apopka, FL
  • Covey - Winter Park, FL
  • Piney - Maitland, FL
  • Aldrich - Beloit, WI
  • Bona Vista - Altamonte Springs, FL
  • Pleasant Gardens - Apopka, FL
  • Breakwater - Juneau, AK
  • Red Roof Inn - Vermillion, SD
  • semi truck - Midwest to California
oct 18 2007 ∞
aug 20 2020 +