9/8

• "who am I kissing right now?"
• "whose bed am I in?"
• "who am I with right now?"

4/13

• cinnamon gum
• deep red lipstick
• blonde hair flying wild
• in the passenger's seat
• bare arms
• bruised knees
• & heart-shaped sunglasses

1/1

• tucked against your chest
• tracing the contours of your vertebrae
• with my fingertips
• our third time
• waking up next to each other
• on the first day of the year

1/27

• to live deliberately
• to live deep
• and suck out all the marrow of life

10/5

• "lean over and give me a kiss"

10/6

• sound of the wind chimes from the house next door

10/19

• midnight rendezvous
• drunken escapades
• like old times

10/31

• the warmth of your teethmarks
• along the back of my neck

6/5

• kiss and bite
• be cruel and fight

6/6

• 8========D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6/13

• for fuck's sake already

6/14

• all things bright and beautiful
• gleaming
• fleeting
• built on farce and deceit

6/15

• dipshit hypocrites
• dumbass bitches

6/17

3/5

• HAPPY
• AWAKE
• IN CONTROL

3/6

• hey babybird

3/9

• kiss with lips like poison
• speak with words like daggers

3/20

• stay in control
• you are a person worth loving
• you are a person worth knowing

3/23

• my chest and stomach feel like wounds doused with alcohol and I don't feel like eating anything

12/1

• driving at night
• and the embers from your cigarette
• flying past my window
• like shooting stars

12/3

• APATHY

12/6

• the feeling of being
• loved and
• cared for and
• desired

12/8

• tenderness
• and quiet epiphanies

12/10

• feeling good

9/2

• weak heart

9/3

• long distance

9/8

• seeing you is the only thing
• I look forward to

9/10

• fell asleep too soon

9/12

• remember that you were happy

9/15

• morning chill
• yes yes yes

9/16

6/1

• sad aesthetic

6/2

• ogling the little puppies at the dog park
• being creeps, as usual

6/3

• "it was for freedom
• from myself
• and from the land"

6/5

• little miss sensitive

6/7

• Chinese takeout
• + Daria reruns

6/8

5/1

• dirty thoughts

5/3

• dirty girl

5/8

• fucking glorious

5/9

• be exceptional

5/10

• it's a pretty day
• wear a pretty dress

5/11

• oh thank god

5/16

• your queen

11/5

• New Slang

11/7

• oxytocin
• losing feeling in my fingers

11/8

• "And I've written pages upon pages
• trying to rid you from my bones"

11/14

• sleeplessness
• the smell of formaldehyde

11/15

• it's great to be alive

11/16

• intimacy

11/17

6/1

• straps undone
• sweat on my forehead
• the sun on my face
• big fat beetles
• fumbling in the dark

6/2

• video games
• wasting time
• longing for the ocean
• hiccups
• caffeine

6/3

• braids
• red nail polish
• wearing a sweater with nothing underneath
• tousled hair
• driving through empty streets in the midd...

3/1

• dim skies
• anxiety
• inwardness
• chapped lips
• feeling self-conscious about the loudness of my footsteps

3/2

• headaches
• strange rituals
• food
• listlessness
• sleeping early

3/3

• sunset
• dicks
• !!!
• dancing
• dancing like a fool

• become fluent in another language
• make love in a rain storm
• hike to the summit of a mountain
• visit every state in America
• swim beside a whale in the ocean
• master the piano
• learn how to play the cello

• spend most of my time outdoors
• talk to people
• travel
• explore
• have adventures
• make new friends
• swim
• stuff my face with ice cream
• read more
• see the ocean

2/14

• plum wine
• and heart-shaped shot glasses
• a delirious kind of love
• like stumbling into a state of inebriation
• tongue loose
• head spinning
• knees buckling with your teetering gait

11/3

• dead flowers and such
• how quickly my heart soars
• upon receiving your text
• "good morning angel"

11/4

• I am okay today

11/9

• Jason and Jess
• make a magical mess
• then drive into the sunset
• in their Sunday best

11/11

• don't let them tell you otherwise

11/12

• I'd like to do more than survive
• I'd like to rub it in your face

5/3

• tell me you're disappearing and then
• wake up with me the next morning
• ignore me for a week and then
• talk to me on the phone for 3 hours
• act like you feel nothing and then
• tell me you still care about me
• cold voice, cold hands and then
• unrelenting tenderness
• tell me you can't be with me
• when I tell you that I want you
• tell me that you need me
• when I tell you I'm moving on

5/5

• winner, winner
• Sunday sinner
• the prodigal son returns
• and parks his car in your driveway
• and you should know better
• but you open the door for him

4/1

• ride it out
• let it pass

4/3

• fall apart
• with grace
• and beauty
• and flashes of blinding light

4/5

• resolve not to dwell
• with unhappy thoughts

4/10

• show me tenderness
• open the windows
• to let in the sun
• warm, caressing tendrils of light
• hold me, surround me
• keep me safe

1/1

• sitting in dark rooms with boys

1/2

• learn
• love
• move on

1/4

• dry lips
• blue lungs
• hold hands to keep your fingers warm

1/5

• call me pretty
• call me baby

1/6

• wading through the muck that is the inside of my mind

1/7

10/3

• love out of lust

10/4

• drtygrrrrrl

10/5

• St. Mark's Place

10/7

• caught in the rain

10/9

• sky the color of blood oranges

10/11

• good feeling
• won't you stay with me
• just a little longer

10/12

• Eyes
• Tatum
• Maica
• Margot
• Willow
• Poppy

• Valentine
• Ivy
• Lily
• Ingrid
• Star
• Bellatrix
• Evie

4/1

• stay the night

4/2

• brightly lit rooms

4/4

• pink cadillac

4/5

• sun on my bare shoulders

4/12

• thunder

4/13

• sleeping by the window with the sun in my face

4/14

• misery

2/6

• nostalgie

2/8

• the boy who drives 50 miles
• through a blizzard
• and risks his life
• for pu$$y

2/15

• warmer weather
• spooning
• fucking
• running errands together

2/20

• the sharp throbbing sting
• of cold air on your cheeks
• of his teeth in your neck
• of tender pink flesh

2/21

1/1

• red sex toys

1/2

• "love you more
• than those bitches before"

1/3

• vodka & cream & coffee liqueur

1/6

• 3 am at the A&P
• holding hands in an empty aisle
• you kissed my forehead
• and told me you loved me

1/8

• dinner in a noodle shop

1/12

• sneaking in

• For No One, The Beatles
• The Dangling Conversation, Simon and Garfunkel
• Brothers on a Hotel Bed, Death Cab for Cutie
• Summer Skin, Death Cab for Cutie
• Pink Bullets, The Shins
• Somebody That I Used to Know, Gotye
• Where We Went Wrong, The Hush Sound
• Silver Lining, Rilo Kiley
• Your Ex-Lover Is Dead, Stars
• Nothing Better, The Postal Service

9/4

• loneliness

9/5

• crickets
• the amber glow of street lamps

9/7

• self-doubt
• waiting
• satiated hunger
• reckless driving
• wanting to squeeze you to death

9/8

• ice cream
• & sex

9/11

• white pillars
• cold legs

5/1

• grey
• restlessness
• endless rain
• smoke
• black leather seats

5/2

• strategic self-presentation
• unfulfilled fantasies
• lounge music
• clouds
• sleep

5/3

• thunder
• mist
• vegetation
• pretty as a picture
• sweet relief

5/4

• kisses on the neck
• stepping into a bathtub filled with warm water
• standing in a pool of sunlight on a frigid winter morning
• orgasms

2/1

• deceptive weather
• spaghetti
• protestations
• gluttonous tendencies
• weird dreams

2/2

• hesitation
• anxiety
• compliments
• purple
• vanilla

2/3

• in a stupor
• the moon
• connectivity
• cream
• where did winter go?

2/4

♀

• Leila
• Ivy
• Rachel
• Sylvia
• Lily

♂

• Evan
• Dominic
• Luke
• Michael
• Jude

• I'll Be Home for Christmas -- the car rides to ballet class with my dad
• The Real Folk Blues by The Seatbelts -- pulling all-nighters during my freshman year of high school and being awake early enough in the morning to watch the entirety of Adult Swim's anime block
• The Chicken Dance -- every birthday party that I attended when I was in elementary school
• Oats We Sow by Gregory and the Hawk -- autumn of 2009

3/2

• the lull and the low

3/4

• pathologically happy
• 5 days off my medication

3/8

• streaks of my eyeliner on your chest
• head in a dream and unabashedly giddy

12/31

• in your mouth
• like a burn on your tongue
• like a poem that you savor as its spoken
• like "L" and "R"
• tender
• sweet and heavy

8/7

• inertia

8/8

• the sweetest words ever spoken

8/9

• "I love you
• but I want to break you"

8/11

• fat lip

8/12

• my body is meant to be
• in a perpetual state of hurt
• redness, bruising, bleeding, swelling,
• addicted to the sharp sting of sadness
• to the giving in and falling apart
• to the obliteration of self

2/1

• heart like a raw wound

2/4

• you are a small and fleeting collection of particles
• experience the world as intensely as you can
• before you disintegrate

2/6

• kisses kisses kisses
• sending currents
• through my veins

2/7

• bright blue crystal sky

2/12

• awake in a dream
• alive in a beautiful terrible world

11/1

• be drunk

11/2

• the first boy I've ever
• looked in the eye
• or wrapped my arms around
• or held hands with
• while we were making love
• I guess that means something

11/6

• suspicious of people
• who do nice things for you

11/7

• anxious when you're happy
• because you don't know how long
• it will last

11/9

8/1

• pink tape
• red satin
• tie me to the bedpost

8/2

• wax and wane

8/5

• big baby

8/9

• sickle cell moon

8/13

• skin skin skin

8/17

• porch lights

8/18

7/2

• love you more
• than those bitches before

7/3

• waking up
• next to the person you love

7/4

• rabbits
• fawn
• and other fragile creatures

7/5

• tender moments, summer nights
• driving through empty suburban streets
• as I sit in the passenger's seat
• holding your hand

7/7

• hotfuckingdamn

• Toast
• Haystack
• Autumn
• Sun
• Summer

3/5

• warm enough
• to leave your jacket undone

3/8

• walking through the snow
• with a hole in my shoe

3/9

• blue blue sky

3/10

• I can only fall asleep
• in other people's beds

3/12

• tired
• tired
• all the time

3/13

12/2

• heavy heart
• crying on your shoulder

12/4

• sweater weather

12/6

• bright white sun
• melancholy
• the chill in the air returning
• nothing can be beautiful without also being painful

12/7

• oh my heart it breaks
• every step that I take

12/8

• water seeping in through the hole in my shoe

10/2

• mist

10/4

• peppermint

10/7

• airplanes

10/8

• love songs
• gray sky morning

10/9

• ache

10/10

• restlessness
• impulsive decisions
• the sound of your voice
• saline

7/1

• dizzy spells
• undulations

7/2

• "I'm your little scarlet starlet
• singing in the garden
• kiss me on my open mouth"

7/3

• cicadas
• sunlight
• skin writhing
• head spinning

7/5

• bruises
• trouble sleeping

7/7

• lightning

• running
• crying till your eyes are sore
• hitting things
• yelling till your throat is sore
• dancing till your limbs are sore
• letting go
• admitting things

8/1

• drunk
• dizzy
• content
• my hair smelling of your cigarettes
• big arms to rest my head against

8/5

• salt
• sweat
• lust

8/6

• writing in cursive
• milk as sweet
• inarticulacy

8/8

• kissing in the ocean
• the taste of salt on your skin
• the taste of cigarettes in your mouth

4/1

• Isis
• porn
• rain
• heat
• lust

4/2

• premature excitement
• butterflies
• making connections
• guy who looked like Chris
• nope, not over it

4/3

• Norwegian Wood
• "saudade"
• self-sabotage
• thought repression
• the smell of Spring

4/4

1/1/12

• rain
• heartbeat racing
• head spinning
• the scent of acetone
• "I wish the world was flat like the old days and I could travel just by folding a map."

1/2/12

• apple strudel
• drunken antics
• songs about sex
• plaid coats
• butts

1/3/12

• tired arms
• tired eyes
• mint
• torn stockings

12/11/11

• cheesecake
• frozen hands
• excessive amounts of sleep
• pigtails
• conversations about past lovers

12/12/11

• swollen skin
• uncharacteristic giddiness
• tickle fights
• thirstiness
• sleeping naked

12/13/11

• apathy
• sugar cravings
• rice and stew
• cold toes
• thought repression

12/14/11

• "I hear the clockwork in your core. Time strips the gears till you forget what they were for."
• "love so deep, kills you in your sleep"
• "So, brown-eyes, I hold you near.'Cos you're the only song I want to hear."
• "Some had crumbled you straight to your knees. Did it cruel, did it tenderly. Some had crawled their way into your heart to rend your ventricles apart."
• "Of all the intersecting lines in the sand, I routed a labyrinth to your lap."