16.4

• finally aired up my tire this morning with grc as moral support... my agoraphobia is actually that bad
• i really like staying up all night even though i know it isnt good for me but it almost reminds me of being a kid again

17.4

• therapy went fine and was good i suppose.. talked about my sister a lot
• did nothing but sleep the rest of the day

18.4

• work was fine and dare i say good… i genuinely don’t know what counts as a good day at work when my job is by default not good. LIKE IT WAS FINE
• and tbf i did get pissed off seeing the box of ribs after i’ve repeatedly explained to * why they need be taken and laid out to thaw but whatever. you really cant fix stupid
  • THE IGNORANCE AND CARELESSNESS OF OTHERS IS NOT MY PROBLEM AND THEIR ACTIONS AS SUCH DO NOT REFLECT ON ME. IT IS NOT MY FAULT; I AM NOT A BAD TEACHER—RATHER I AM SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CARE AND HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ME. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. I CANT CHANGE PEOPLE AND ITS NOT MY JOB TO DO SO. Accepting the fact there’s nothing I can do, I must work how I always do: diligently and efficiently.
• yeah i seriously need to find a new job i can’t repeat these affirmations forever

25.4

• reflecting on my week and feeling like the more pain for brian gif
• work cutting my days was really the wake up call i needed to leave that place so whatever
• worked on a new more professional resume all afternoon so i'm gonna go to walgreens to print it
  • bc why is the library closed at 5pm on saturdays.. alr bro
  • i could wait til tmw but i just wanna do it nowwwwwwww
• literally got in a car accident bc i decided to go then .
• AND I STILL LITTTEERRRALLYYY HAVENT EVEN GONE TO GET IT DONE . EVEN THO IT WAS CLEARLY THAT SERIOUS?
• what is my life bro

26.4

• found out my rent increased by $150 since i never renewed the lease .
  • emailed her and basically said heyyy wait sorry about that so can i actually renew the lease
  • could be a positive since it's a month to month thing now which gives me more moving out freedom but well my finances
• IF YOU LARP BEING AUDHD OR THINK TRAUMA IS A JOKE ? GENUINELY K/// YOURSELF idc id genuinely do anything to be turned into a normal fucking functioning person without cptsd holy fuckkkkkkk

28.4

• um why is my landlord calling me at my job
  • texted him and said id call him back as soon as i left work
  • yeah so i didn't do that
  • dude bc i already know it's prob abt the lease and i'm majorly avoidant with rsd so idc
  • nah rsd + phone call likely regarding smth ive been avoiding :looksaround: ts is not happening bro JUST TEXT ME ..?
• this entire month just being more pain for brian with me as brian

30.4

• april just fucking sucked bro
• glued to the couch all day doing literally nothing but overeating and watching youtube fuck my fatass aspie chud life
• wait i had a job interview which actually went really good
• okay fine so we can cheer for that