• Never let perfect be the enemy of better.
• Ask yourself if you're genuinely hearing someone before responding, and be sincere in your response.
• Do what is needed for the situation you are in—not the situation you wish you were in; not the one that is fair; not the one that is more comfortable.
• When you first fail to speak, don't panic. Take a moment and try again. Remember all the times you have spoke.

Challenges to an unhelpful thought

• Is there any evidence against this thought?
• Is there any evidence for this thought (based in fact)?
• Can you identify any patterns of unhelpful thinking?
• What would you say to a friend who had this thought in a similar situation?
• Is there another way of looking at this situation?
• Is there a proactive solution to this unhelpful thought?

Patterns of unhelpful thinking

• Mind reading
• Labelling
• Predicting the future
• Catastrophising
• Personalisation
• Over-generalising
• Focusing on the negatives
• Underestimating ability to cope with fear and anxiety