✧ 2019 ✧

• January⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀一月
• 水, 01. new year. lots of rain. a lightning bolt struck close to our house. the power went out for most of the day. I listened to music for hours.
• 木, 02. mom and I went shopping. I painted my shoes. call with CDF. my family being unsupportive™. we watched Beauty and the beast.
• 金, 03. we went to visit my aunt and cousins. after we went to the city centre with my cousin. I watched some YouTube videos but then I ran out of 4G. drawing. daydreaming.
• 土, 04. still raining. some relatives came to spend summer break here. I drew some owls. listened to some new songs. lethargy.
• 日, 05. we went to the beach. mom and I walked through the shore. more relatives came to also spend the summer here. I miss my home. drawing.
• 月, 06. we travelled back to my mom's house. I finished painting my shoes. we watched Cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2. I drew a little bit to get my mind off things. and I listened to Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet before going to bed.
• 火, 07. Car travel listening to music. I am finally back home. I watched random youtube videos. tarot predictions. I finally got around to watch Halloween.
• 水, 08. a good type of anxiety. I went to the movies alone for the first time. I watched And Then We Danced and it was amazing. the feeling when you come home late at night and the city is quiet but your mind is loud. Jonny Boy by Kite.
• 木, 09. animal crossing pocket edition. call with Ale and Gus. drawing a little bit. yearning. listening to music until late because I was too anxious to sleep.
• 金, 10. tried to learn a song on the keyboard. I played some Chinese Parents. my notebook's charger started malfunctioning. I watched Klaus. The Story by Conan Gray.
• 土, 11. call with Gus. I watched the Queercore documentary. and I made some random doodles while watching. I restarted CallMeKevin's Harry Potter series because I like to see him suffering through shit games. I played Chinese Parents again.
• 日, 12. I played too much Animal Crossing. made some drawings in ballpoint pen and liked the result. trying to learn a keyboard song with a very bad youtube tutorial™. Conan Gray. packing for another travel.
• 月, 13. call with Ale and Gus. I started Titan's second season. Foca Award's nominees. feeling like a zombie cause I didn't drink coffee today. read some fanfics.
• 火, 14. Gabs started playing Animal Crossing. I finished packing. call with CDF. Foca Awards. more fanfics.
• 水, 15. I went to my mom's house. I had to eat meat for lunch and I regret it. I listened to a lot of music because I hadn't much to do. I also played a lot of minigames on my mobile. I was too sick to have dinner so I went to bed earlier than normal.
• 木, 16. my family and I travelled to Minas Gerais. 12 hours of car travel. I slept through most of it. I read a little bit of The Art of Game Design by Jesse Schell. the hotel we stayed in was very nice and had good food.
• 金, 17. my stepdad's relatives arrived. we had lunch at a restaurant downtown and the place was kinda boring. I spent the afternoon playing Adorable Home on my mobile. we went to the wedding's place to help with the last finishing touches. everyone stopped by the hotel's restaurant to have dinner, but it was so boring that I left early.
• 土, 18th. we visited my stepdad's stepmother (or smth like that) and she was very nice. later we went to a wedding party. it was the first time I went to a party without wearing a dress, I was in comfy clothes and it felt very nice. my mom spent most of the night being angry at some relatives. we went home early and I spent the rest of the night on Youtube.
• 日, 19. we visited my stepdad's aunt (or smth) and she was exceptionally nice. his stepmother was there also and she was really happy to see us again. we visited a relative in an asylum and the place was horrible. we bought lots of cheese to take back to São Paulo. I spent the rest of the night listening to music and watching Youtube videos.
• 月, 20. my family and I woke up at 3 AM. we travelled back to Embu Guaçu. we ate lunch in a stop somewhere around Aparecida do Norte and that was nice. I went to my mom's house instead of mine. my mom's dogs were really happy to see we were back.
• 火, 21. mom gave me some new jackets. mom and I came back to São Paulo by bus because my stepdad was too lazy to bring us. I finally got back home. I listened to some ghost stories on Youtube. I finally was able to play Animal Crossing again.
• 水, 22. I bought a new game called Unheard. I started a new diet to see if I become more healthy. call with Gabs and Gus. we played Gartic together. I got way too interested in a Sims 4 gameplay on youtube.
• 木, 23. call with Gus and Ale. we made more Piccrew avatars. I started a new list for my Listography. I bought a new charger for my pc for me to play The Sims 4 again. I just watched random videos about random topics until 2 AM.
• 金, 24. I took the day off from the internet. just me being sad watching random videos for the whole day, nothing new, didn't do anything too.
• 土, 25. Two by Sleeping At Last. Gabs and I being sad at 2 AM. my new charger arrived. I played The Sims 4 a lot. I read some nice comics.
• 日, 26. I played Unheard until I got all the achievements possible. many thoughts head full. I played The Sims 4 for most of the day. Gabs. I watched some videos about Good Omens.
• 月, 27. I played some The Sims 4. call with CDF. I read the new chapters of My Hero Academia. the cat that shows up sometimes. Youtube videos.
• 火, 28. I played more The Sims 4. singing. Lewis Capaldi. random Youtube videos. daydreaming.
• 水, 29. call with CDF. we made a cult on Habblet. Declan McKenna's new song. Gabs and I played Don't Starve Together. I watched some Youtube videos before going to bed.
• 木, 30. call with Gus and Gabs (and David later). we played Habblet and built some rooms. I forgot to eat for most of the day. I played The Sims 4 until very late. I listened to a whole lot of music.
• 金, 31. call with CDF. we played Habblet. Don't Starve Together with Gabs. Gabs and I talking about old family photographs. random conversations with Gabs and Ale.

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• February⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀二月
• 土, 01. call with Ale and Gus. a little bit of Habblet. The Sims 4. This War of Mine. I watched Luna Nera.
• 日, 02. I played The Sims 4. I messed my hair up and now it's purple. call with CDF. we played Habblet. me, an idiot, watching videos about horror movies instead of watching the movies.
• 月, 03. Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. call with CDF. I played The Sims 4 (with Ale and Gabs). I built a nice house for my sims and I am proud of it. I started watching The Untamed.
• 火, 04. I watched more The Untamed. I started learning how to play a simplified version of Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi on my keyboard. I played The Sims 4. random games on the internet. I went back to watching The Untamed because I don't have a life.
• 水, 05. call with Gus and Ale. Habblet. listening to music on the call. bored. I watched The Tenant.
• 木, 06. the internet stressing me. call with Gus and Ale. we recited poems in a Habblet room. we also joined random people so everyone would have the same look in a Habblet room. I watched The Untamed.
• 金, 07. call with Ale. he slept during the call so Gabs joined me to laugh at him (Gus joined us later). Chinese Parents. The Sims 4. I watched The Untamed.
• 土, 08. I watched The Untamed. call with CDF. I played The Sims 4. Gabs talking about her ts4 game. I decided I wasn't going to sleep because I...... don't have brain cells.
• 日, 09. I finished The Untamed. I prepared everything for going back to class. I didn't have lunch because I don't have brain cells. sending way to many messages to Gabs. I haven't slept in 30 hours.
• 月, 10. the classes were cancelled because of the storm. The Sims 4. call with CDF. I played Minecraft for a while. I probably watched some videos or smth I don't remember.
• 火, 11. first day of classes. storytelling class. so this semester I will get back to writing, I hope. my friends and I went to the mall. I tried to play Minecraft but everything went wrong.
• 水, 12. the new BNHA chapter. I played Moonlighter before class. programming class once again. our class went to meet the new students. Gus and I played Minecraft for some reason.
• 木, 13. GDD class. meeting with the members of my department. trying to keep a conversation. Oh My God by Alec Benjamin. videos of people being angry at movies.
• 金, 14. meeting with the people from the academic directory. level design class. call with Gabs and Ale. Moonlighter. The Sims 4.
• 土, 15. The Sims 4. call with Ale and Gus. drinking and playing Habblet. I downloaded another dating app just because. trying to talk with people.
• 日, 16. I've been talking with someone new. learning more about my astrology birth chart. call with Ale and Gus. The Sims 4. I read another story from Philip K. Dick's book.
• 月, 17. illustration class. I tried to teach my friend how to solve a Rubik's cube. small call with Ale and Gus. read some fanfics. procrastinating.
• 火, 18. storytelling class. short animated films made by students. programming (and teaching people how to program). writing an essay I should've finished already. I've been feeling like I am not a very interesting person.
• 水, 19. programming class. silly laughs. I finished my essay. call with Ale and Gus. I played Chinese Parents.
• 木, 20. GDD class. discussing the book and game ideas. call with Gus and Ale. Habblet. talking to random people online.
• 金, 21. train travel. Queer Magic by Tomás Prower. family. I watched Get Out with my sister. the randomness of finding people who are too much like you.
• 土, 22. Realidades Adaptadas. writing some more for my game. call with Gus and Ale. The Sims 4. watching some Youtube videos.
• 日, 23. trying to draw. call with CDF. Alessa came to visit. we played Overcooked. then we watched My Neighbor Totoro.
• 月, 24. Moonlighter. call with Gus and Ale. Listography. strawberry with chocolate cake. feeling like I should be doing something more productive.
• 火, 25. I spent some time with my nephews. studied Japanese. call with Gus. I started a new game prototype on Unity. youtube videos or smth idk.
• 水, 26. taking care of my nephews. call with Ale and Gus. Habblet. my sister's cat. mom.
• 木, 27. I woke up at 4 AM. bus travel. back home. GDD class. listening to sad songs with Ale.
• 金, 28. I had a new project idea. my friends and I played TowerFall Ascension before class. level design class. call with CDF.
• 土, 29. I went to my friend's house to work on our game. his grandmother made vegetarian food to me (as everyone else was eating barbecue) and I think she's really sweet. we played The Resistance. I helped with the level design. and I programmed a little bit.

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• March⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀三月
• 日, 01. I went to sleep at 4 AM. my friends and I played TowerFall Ascension before coming back home. I was feeling very tired. I watched I Am Not Okay with This. I started decorating my altar.
• 月, 02. illustration class. painting on photoshop. I watched All the Bright Places with Ale. witchcraft. I tried to finish some programming exercises but failed.
• 火, 03. I started helping out in my art teacher's class. drawing. I was very distracted in class. call with Ale and Gus. I went to sleep early cause I was too tired.
• 水, 04. studying Japanese. programming class. The Inner Temple of Witchcraft. Brian David Gilbert on Polygon's Overboard. read the new chapter of my fave fanfic.
• 木, 05. studying Japanese. GDD class. ignoring the things I should be doing. I texted my friend and we talked about going to therapy. I read one 30 chapters long fanfic before going to bed.
• 金, 06. I went to see a doctor but I need to wait until someone comes to register me at the health centre. level design class. call with Ale and Gus. Habblet. watched Flabaliki's Prison Architect series.
• 土, 07. people who painted werewolves in the past were the first furries? all the mess after the last BBB party. call with CDF. programming my game. Prison Architect.
• 日, 08. I studied Japanese. the two Leticias and I went to an esoteric fair. I bought crystals, a cauldron, and a tarot deck. call with Gus. Prison Architect.
• 月, 09. Japanese study again! illustration class. I learned I kinda like to draw sceneries. I bought a Brazilian style flan. I played Prison Architect.
• 火, 10. helping with the art class again. rants about my level design class. storytelling class. my friends and I went to eat esfihas after class. I finished my programming assignments.
• 水, 11. I went to uni early to help with the Directory Academic. I introduced the D.A. to several different classes. programming class. call with Ale and Gus. drawing with charcoal.
• 木, 12. GDD class where I tried to solve some bugs on my game. my friends and I introduced the D.A. to some more classes. one teacher asked us to stay and help him out. I talked with very nice people who were making amazing art on Illustrator. we had the first confirmed Covid-19 case at my university.
• 金, 13. people desperate because of the Covid-19. level design class. daydreaming. call with CDF. I went to sleep early.
• 土, 14. family. stagnate. The Sims 4. Edgar Allan Poe. changing my Listography.
• 日, 15. tried to play some Oxygen Not Included. more people panicking about the Covid-19. drawing. call with CDF. The Sims 4.
• 月, 16. first day of quarantine. anxiety. call with Ale and Gus. thinking about creating new habits. I started listening to the audiobook of The Picture of Dorian Gray.
• 火, 17. second day of quarantine. I cleaned my room. my first online class (it was not bad at all). call with CDF. wanting to die.
• 水, 18. third day of quarantine. programming class. feeling very useless. call with CDF. call with my team to finish the prototype nº 1.
• 木, 19. fourth day of quarantine. online presentation of the prototype. making a challenge on The Sims 4. call with Ale and Gus. I started watching The Witcher.
• 金, 20. fifth day of quarantine. Mabon. level design class. my brain giving up after too many puzzles. call with CDF.
• 土, 21. drawing. call with CDF. The Sims 4. call with some old friends. Gartic, Transformice's Uno and Habblet.
• 日, 22. I woke up very late. The Sims 4. Affluenza by Conan Gray. I played Chinese Parents and Distrust for a little while. wishing I could simply change my whole personality.
• 月, 23. drawing at 3 AM. illustration class. drawing on Photoshop. call with CDF. I started watching Bangkok Love Stories: Innocence.
• 火, 24. I called my mom and everyone is fine back home. storytelling class. call with CDF. finished Ale's birthday present. I played Simmiland.
• 水, 25. 10th day of quarantine. programming class. I started a course on unity. I played a lot of The Sims 4. and finished watching Bangkok love stories.
• 木, 26. I am sick. studied a little bit of math. programming for my game. call with Gus. we had some very nice late-night conversations.
• 金, 27. My friend Ale remembering his drunk texts from last night. level design class. call with CDF. I played Mutazione. I started watching Cells at Work on Netflix.
• 土, 28. I woke up very late. The Sims 4. call with CDF. those moments you wish you had done things differently. dark academia aesthetic.
• 日, 29. I started an online course about egyptology. call with CDF. we played The Sims 4 for a while. I watched Dead poets society and it hit me in a way I can't even explain. had a mental breakdown late at night because COVID-19 is making me stay home instead of going to fucking therapy.
• 月, 30. 14 days of quarantine. illustration class. call with Ale and Gus. finished my programming homework. finished watching Cells at Work.
• 火, 31. Busyhead album by Noah Kahan. "but did you find what you were looking for? some escape from your skin; you know that place you were dreaming of where all light comes in". The Picture of Dorian Gray. Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. I studied a few different things because I can't decide what I like to do most.

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• April⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀四月
• 水, 01. studied Japanese. a very chill afternoon while watching my programming class. I finished something for my game and it feels good to be useful. listening to the album Busyhead with Gabs. I wish I could be playing Animal Crossing New Horizons.
• 木, 02. I studied Japanese. GDD class. calls to brainstorm game designs. call with CDF. Brawlhalla with Paulo and Nyam.
• 金, 03. I watched The Platform on Netflix. studied more Japanese. level design class. call with CDF. dark academia aesthetic.
• 土, 04. studied Japanese. art history class. call with CDF. Stardew Valley with Gabs. studying.
• 日, 05. The Sims 4. programming. Animal Crossing etc. more programming but this time for my game. the fecking new chapter of BNHA.
• 月, 06. studied more Japanese. illustration class. call with uni friends. also, call with Ale and Gus. drawing on Photoshop.
• 火, 07. 22nd day of quarantine aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. storytelling class aaaaaaaa. new assignments aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. trying to program a fucking saving system into my game but it simply doesn't work. I watched Princess Mononoke.
• 水, 08. programming test. call with the uni people because they know nothing about programming and no one wants to fail this damn class. call with the boys™ (Ale and Gus). I watched a video about how YanSim will never be released and now I think even I can program a game better. I went to sleep early in the hopes of waking up early but guess what.
• 木, 09. Buckland's book. GDD class. still trying to program the save system. call with the boys. I read some fanfics.
• 金, 10. I woke up very late. call with the boys again. The Sims 4. I started watching Mo dao zu shi. went to sleep early (I'm so fucking tired all the time nowadays).
• 土, 11. "I fell into a pattern where nothing would matter if I didn't care. To be so close to a coastline to know that in my life, I'll never be there... 'Cause sometimes I get this feeling I've been breathing someone else's air. So I guess I'll build a boat and live alone, lord, I'll be the lost one; oh, I'll teach myself to swim and live in my head and make sense of all my thoughts, and if I never reach the land or live again, Lord, I'll be just fine. Yeah, I'll drift until I'm dead, and until then I'll be the lost one" - Tidal, Noah Kahan.
• 日, 12. call with CDF (everyone was there, amazing). Davi and Maria joined us later. Gartic. Stopots. besides going call, I did nothing today.
• 月, 13. 28 fucking days of quarantine. I have lost all my will to live (and also I want to change my major). illustration class. today can be summed in sadness and hunger and not being able to get up from bed to go fecking eat. I started watching Anne with an e.
• 火, 14. storytelling class. call with CDF. the key to life on earth by Declan McKenna. I drew a lighthouse on my wall with some charcoal. herbalism.
• 水, 15. programming class. trying to program the save system. I gave up on the save system. call with CDF. I don't know exactly when I slept but I woke up at 1 AM feeling like shit and completely lost wtf.
• 木, 16. GDD class. I called my mom, she's fine and I told her I want to change degrees and she's cool with it so the god and the goddess help me or I am not gonna finish this fucking semester. the fact that there are no errors on my version of the file and there are a thousand errors on my friend's version even though we changed nothing from one to another. Alessa and I are the emotional support of one another and that's funny and also terrible. I watched another episode of Anne with an e.
• 金, 17. level design class. anxiety. call with CDF. Jschlatt new video that made me laugh and calmed me. more Anne with an e.
• 土, 18. call with Ale and Gus. Declan McKenna. new Club Penguin. crying like an idiot because of Anne with an e. drawing on my wall again.
• 日, 19. I woke up very late and I need to stop. call with the boys. rants because life sucks. Club Penguin again. big decisions.
• 月, 20. youtube videos. fuck class. Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe". I finished Anne with an e.
• 火, 21. call with the boys. I started reading Red, White and Royal Blue. anxiety. tarot. I should start writing again.
• 水, 22. call with CDF. egyptology. fuck college. Jschlatt playing Five Nights at Freddy's. I started building a house for my friend Gabs on The Sims 4.
• 木, 23. call with some friends. finished Gabs' house on The Sims. the nosleep podcast. people building Japanese houses on The Sims 4. omens.
• 金, 24. call with Ale and Gus. Habblet. Bolsonaro's statement on national television which was a fucking ride. Gus talking about The Untamed. Youtube videos.
• 土, 25. I woke up earlier. studied Japanese. call with CDF. Habblet. I played a little bit of For The King.
• 日, 26. feeling tired. For The King. I forgot humans need to eat. people playing RPG. music.
• 月, 27. call with CDF. Maria and Davi joined the CDF. Thelma BBB winner. Jschlatt videos. enneagram.
• 火, 28. I studied German. call. Cellbit's RPG. Gus talking about The Untamed. I was very tired but I don't know what to do to not be tired all the time.
• 水, 29. Gabs' birthday!! I bought her food. call with CDF. arguing about how good is the Frozen movie. Jschlatt. sometimes I think, but then I forget.
• 木, 30. new event on Animal Crossing. call with Ale and Gus. that dog on the weather forecast somewhere in the US. Cellbit's RPG episode one and two. drawing with charcoal.

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• May⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀五月
• 金, 01. I studied German. this cat with its snake friend. Sirenhead. call with Ale and Gus. I listened to Cellbit's RPG episode three while building a house on The Sims 4.
• 土, 02. PMS. I watched Cellbit's RPG live. sad cause Cristopher died. sent too many messages to Gabs. drew Sirenhead with charcoal.
• 日, 03. Listography. call with the boys. Alessa being random. Jschlatt. I watched Dracula.
• 月, 04. call with the boys. Picrew. this song from The Untamed. Atlas: Enneagram by Sleeping At Last. comics.
• 火, 05. Gus sent me one very ominous picture from his neighbour house. witchcraft. I studied Portuguese and I can't fucking believe I was able to graduate school without knowing a single thing about this subject. X Æ A-12. call with Gus.
• 水, 06. I sent a meme to Gus at 5 AM and he responded immediately then we forced ourselves to go to sleep. call with Ale and Gus. I said I was going to draw but I'm a fucking liar. Paulo. I think I am doing well in learning German.
• 木, 07. I woke up early and got to enjoy the morning cold (and it was cold!!). Habblet. playing Criminal Case with Gabs. call with Ale and Gus. the full moon.
• 金, 08. no internet connection :D. I played The Sims 4. mini call with the boys. I'm a little bit addicted to Criminal Case... Again. I watched The Hollow.
• 土, 09. call with Ale and Gus. I studied Portuguese. I also studied a little bit of German. I watched Cellbit's RPG live again. there was a gecko on the ceiling when I entered the bathroom and it jumped to the floor scaring the shit out of me.
• 日, 10. called my mother and she's been doing fine. call with CDF. Aavak's live playing Oxygen not included. I cut my hair.
• 月, 11. I played The Sims 4. call with Ale and Gus. Gus playing BBB on Habblet. little scary comics that make me happy. listening to music while thinking of a new story.
• 火, 12. call with Ale and Gus. we had this ominous and yet nice experience with a quiz. the fool, there's only so fast a car can go before it flips. preparing movies and books for a short trip. Alan's live.
• 水, 13. visiting mom! wearing those masks in the car while listening to music. I discovered that my mom loves the book "The Picture of Dorian Gray" and also that she has a copy she's been hiding from me for the longest time. I played The Sims 4. we watched Sherlock.
• 木, 14. we watched Dorian Gray. and The Lighthouse which was an experience and I have many questions (it was also very good). I drew a little bit with charcoal (a lighthouse! who would've guessed). we also watched Sherlock. after we watched a culinary program that aired on TV and it's a lot more chill than Masterchef so it was kinda nice but I discovered I don't like meat anymore, it kinda makes me sick.
• 金, 15. mom made vegetarian food for me. we watched Porco Rosso. also, we watched Spirited Away and I love No Face so much. I tried to play The Sims 4 but I started overthinking the fact that my sim was getting old and had amounted to nothing and also had never experienced true love and had only worked to pay the bills and buy things and suddenly the time I had to make him live a full life was so small that I just closed the game because of the stress. mom and I talking while watching Sherlock and having this dialogue: "I love Moriarty" (me), "he's trash" (she) / "I love Sherlock" (she), "please he's fecking crazy" (me); while my stepdad regrets all his life choices.
• 土, 16. my aunt who has been in the hospital for the last month or so died of cancer, and everyone was already expecting that because of her condition and I don't know how to feel so here we are. I made lunch today. I played The Sims 4 (I made a new family). living and talking with my mom is so much easier nowadays like she doesn't expect me to be something and I don't try to hide anything from her; it's a good feeling. we watched Orange is the new black because it was the only thing on the TV.
• 日, 17. I went to sleep at 5 AM. I finished Red, White and Royal Blue. "you want nothing but patience - or give it a more fascinating name, call it hope". I played The Sims 4. daydreaming.
• 月, 18. I made eggplant lasagna. got a haircut. conversations with my aunt. "but I don't want to cure cancer; I want to turn people into dinosaurs". helped my stepdad to make coxinhas.
• 火, 19. I helped mom with lunch. kinda disappointed she stopped listening to me and having a conversation became a very dull task. doodles. quizzes. we watched Sherlock and I need to finish this show.
• 水, 20. I am back home. call with Ale and Gus. Habblet. we played Uno on Transformice. I started watching the last season of Shera.
• 木, 21. Listography out of the air which made me sad. trying to study. call with CDF. I really need to watch the last episode of Cellbit's RPG. I finished watching Shera.
• 金, 22. call with Ale and Gus. trying to play Civilization VI. Brazillian politics. Habblet. group chat with Brenno in which I made a terrible first impression.
• 土, 23. I had some good dreams. quotes from the group chat with Ale, Gus, and Brenno. dysphoria and other types of things I have to deal with daily. I watched episode 6 of Cellbit's RPG. and then I watched episode 7 live on Twitch.
• 日, 24. call with Ale and Gus. Gus reading the bible during the call. we played Don't Starve Together. Ale and I were killed by a Catcoon on Don't Starve Together. listening to old Brazilian memes.
• 月, 25. I studied a little bit. I tried to played Civilization VI. call with Ale and Gus again. we (the three of us) played Minecraft with Maria. Civilizations VI videos on Youtube.
• 火, 26. I give up on waking up early, I will just not sleep until I can fix my sleeping schedule. trying to study a little. call with The Boys (Ale and Gus). Habblet. Gus and I trying to be cool kids.
• 水, 27. solving riddles on Habblet with Gus and a group of strangers. also, we went on a Discord call with them. I played Civilization VI. call with Ale and Gus. I started reading Maurice.
• 木, 28. studying. call with The Boys. drawing. I'm hyped for pride month. some random people trying to be edgy on Habblet.
• 金, 29. These Two Windows by Alec Benjamin. call with Ale and Gus. drawing. we played Minecraft. Civilization VI.
• 土, 30. call with CDF. I drew a little. Cellbit's RPG. I started the group chat icon for pride month. insomnia and anxiety and that deep feeling of despair when you want to help but there's not much you can do.
• 日, 31. protests Antifa here in SP. Civilization VI. I studied a little about ancient Greece. feeling too anxious to do something useful. Habblet with Gus and some random conversations to keep our mind out of everything that is going on.

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• June⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ 六月
• 月, 01. happy pride month! call with Ale and Gus until 3 AM. drawing monsters. my brother is a total idiot. reading about the antifascist movement.
• 火, 02. call with Ale and Gus. reading about socialism. solving internet riddles because I really hate my life. I played Civilization VI. read some chapters of Maurice.
• 水, 03. call with the boys (Ale and Gus) - I really need more names to describe this activity because we really go in call every fucking day. cats. my brother was being (and still is) an ass. the world is a ridiculously bad place and living here aspiring to just fit in in the system is slowly killing me. I started gathering information to a fanfic I will never write.
• 木, 04. I have lost all hopes in my family (again) and now I'm once more trying to live with the fact that I will never have a functional family and that sometimes this is just how the world works. call with the gays (Ale and Gus, as usual). tidying things up. working on a new list. Civilization VI, that has become the place I go when I am feeling down so I can ignore that I exist.
• 金, 05. call with Ale and Gus. reading about communism and related topics. Civilization VI. sometimes I wish I had gone through a punk phase so nowadays I wouldn't be so angry. here it is again, as it would once it have never left.
• 土, 06. Ale calling us at 1:40 AM to do nothing for the rest of the night. selfies. Civilization VI. Cellbit's RPG. getting angry with TERFs on my tl.
• 日, 07. mom's birthday. "it comes in waves, I close my eyes, hold my breath and let it bury me". I made a new playlist. I studied history and philosophy. finished my doze notáveis list.
• 月, 08. Minecraft with Ale. call with the gays. I did some exercises. I lost track of time and only got to "have lunch" after dark. youtube videos.
• 火, 09. call with them - you know, them. Minecraft with Ale (and Gus). me being very sad and tired the whole day. I started a list of 101 in 1001 days. I played Civilization VI.
• 水, 10. call with CDF. I played The Sims 4. exercising again. finished my 101 in 1001 list. I wish I was in a coven and could celebrate the sabbats in a much nicer way.
• 木, 11. I studied German! I finished reading about Antifa's history. Gabs installed The Sims 4 alone. call with The Gays™ (Ale and Gus) playing Minecraft. reading about the sabbats.
• 金, 12. I played Civilization VI. call drinking with Ale and Gus (but Gus was not drinking). Habblet. trying to strike a conversation with literally anyone that crossed my way. feeling like I am too much.
• 土, 13. I studied German. talking about Criminal Case lore with Gabs. call with Ale and Gus. lots of emotions during Cellbit's RPG session. drawing some monsters and strange people with masks.
• 日, 14. call with Ale and Gus. drawing (I've decided to start drawing every day, let's see how long I'll keep it up). studied a little bit of essay writing. youtube videos. I played Civilization VI.
• 月, 15. alone by Edgar Allan Poe. call with the gays again. my nephew's birthday. video essays in writing worlds. I watched The half of it.
• 火, 16. goddess Diana. вoлk. call with Ale and Gus. oh to eat and not feel like throwing up. I started watching Curon.
• 水, 17. I read a lot. studied syntax in German because why not (even if I don't know that in Portuguese - my native language - but who cares, right?). call with Gus (and briefly Ale). we talked a lot about The Untamed. I finished Curon.
• 木, 18. I have never ever read anything ever. call, as usual. I played The Sims 4. I made a new playlist on Spotify so I can be sad because I am a fucking mess. I woke up late and then I slept through the day and then I went to sleep and I don't know how I am alive.
• 金, 19. doing tarot readings. call with Ale and Gus. wrote a letter to future me. drawing. remembering the conversations I had with my penpals (I need to find new penpals to talk to).
• 土, 20. The Industrial Revolutions podcast. Cellbit's RPG. talked with an old friend. nightly call with Ale and Gus. I played Civilization VI.
• 日, 21. I listened to The Industrial Revolutions podcast while cleaning the house. German (this language will end up killing me). Civilization VI. When the morning comes by A great big world. do you ever miss feeling something?
• 月, 22. drawing. call. added some more pics to my birthday list. I watched a USP class about LGBTQIA+ movement thanks to my friend. youtube or smth like this.
• 火, 23. played Civilization VI. more drawing. call with Ale and Gus. my cat. I started watching Dorohedoro.
• 水, 24. call with CDF. anxiety attack after the call. Elizabeth (my cat) making my life better. Civilization VI so I can pretend I don't exist. Brazilian music.
• 木, 25. when he said "uhhh hello? hello, helloo? uhhhh.... hello?". Civilization VI. I started reading When all is said by Anne Griffin. trying to play The Sims 4. call with Gabs and Gus.
• 金, 26. talking way too much about Criminal Case with Gabs. playing the first Criminal Case also. call with CDF. I took a nap in the afternoon. I read a lot about MBTIs.
• 土, 27. Brawlhalla with Gabs and Dvd. call with Gabs, Dvd and Gus. Cellbit's RPG. drawing. Civilization VI.
• 日, 28. I finally took some time to update this list. call. The Sims 4. Dvd, Gabs and I played Don't Starve Together. Potato's videos playing Civ.
• 月, 29. Criminal Caseeee. call. pan pride drawing because I love being pan. my cat. Potato's videos again.
• 火, 30. call as well. The Sims 4. Bastille. played Civ. cyclone on Brazil's south.

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• July⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀七月
• 水, 01. me awake until 5 AM because the wind was so damn loud. call. The Sims 4 again. Bastille. I took a nap after the call and woke up at midnight.
• 木, 02. I had the weirdest dream. I updated this list again. Bastille. call. I was playing Criminal Case or something like that I don't remember.
• 金, 03. call with Ale and Gus. Bastille. zero patience for anything. learning way too much about how The Sims 2 genetics work. I started watching K.
• 土, 04. Animal Crossing. Civilization VI. I am not really sure I still exist. Cellbit's RPG. late call with Ale and Gus.
• 日, 05. I spend too much time in my room. playing some mobile games. Edgar Allan Poe. isolating myself again because talking takes too much energy. Gus finally got to those episodes of The Untamed.
• 月, 06. no patience again. call with Ale and Gus. more mobile games. trying to talk to him again. being dumb with Minas (I miss him aaaa).
• 火, 07. I spent some time with my dog. My chemical romance. watching videos about storytelling. The Sims 4. more mobile games.
• 水, 08. I woke up at 2 PM. old testament angels. more videos about storytelling. Avatar: the last airbender. The Sims 4.
• 木, 09. started a painting. call with Ale and Gus. Daniel you're still a child by Declan McKenna. played civ 6. I was doing a good job of keeping myself from coming back to that bad habit, but here we are once again.
• 金, 10. Unfollow the Rules by Rufus Wainwright. call with Ale and Gus. "how tf is already friday?". Aratasaurus Museunacionali. animated stickers.
• 土, 11. "finished" my painting. Leticia supporting me. I tried to start a conversation with my brother but none of us knows how to talk. Cellbit's RPG. LGBTQ+ themes in horror movies.
• 日, 12. The Haunting of Hill House again. weirdcore and liminal space. call with Ale, Gus and David. anxiety and bad habits. I played Gartic with the boys.
• 月, 13. pain. call with Ale and Gus. I miss writing and I miss having something to write about. video essays. "love is so painful, how could you ever wish it on anybody? and love is so essential, how could you ever stand in its way?"
• 火, 14. that giant 200ft long rabbit plushie in the countryside of Italy. call with Ale and Gus. I made a drawing I'm kinda proud of. I watched Jojo Rabbit. In deiner kleinen Welt by Philipp Dittberner & Marv.
• 水, 15. remembering with a twist, a video essay about the portrait of jews in movies about the holocaust. German. The Sims 4. "the river is an organ and the meadow is a church for a strange inclination that fortune is a curse".
• 木, 16. I had a very strange dream. horror games. call with Ale and Gus. The Sims 4. german music.
• 金, 17. I woke up very late. call with Ale, Gus and David. Rusty Lake Roots. Doom Days by Bastille. The Sims 4.
• 土, 18. German. call with Ale and Gus. my brother. Cellbit's RPG reducing my qi. I took a nap and woke up at 1 AM.
• 日, 19. watched a video essay about Jurassic Park. more German. call with Ale and Gus as well. This War of Mine. The Sims 4.
• 月, 20. call with Ale and Gus again. German. when you learn someone is trans and you immediately feel safer around the person. The Sims 4. dancing around my room.
• 火, 21. cosmic horror. call with Ale and Gus once more. Gus is almost finishing The Untamed and I am reliving the pain with him. The Sims 4. anxiety.
• 水, 22. The Sims 4. exploring the liminal space aesthetic. this tweet. ghosts are haunting me. where are you heading?
• 木, 23. call with Ale and Gus. MORE ghosts are haunting me. a very nice tarot pick-a-card video. little nap after the call to run away from my anxiety which led me to wake up feeling like trash. Folklore by Taylor Swift.
• 金, 24. I finally wrote something after god knows how much time without writing. call with Ale and Gus. Folklore by Taylor Swift again because I liked the album a lot. I watched an episode of Sherlock. also Baby you're a haunted house by Gerard Way.
• 土, 25. Cellbit's RPG. Cellbit's RPG. Cellbit's RPG. Cellbit's RPG. Cellbit's RPG.
• 日, 26. people building on Minecraft. angry at people saying the Europeans were right on colonizing America. call with Ale and Gus. The Untamed.
• 月, 27. listening to Avicii at 4 AM. call with Ale and Gus. anxiety. I started building a house on The Sims 4 to cope.
• 火, 28. call with Ale and Gus. anxiety. random videos on Youtube.
• 水, 29. call with Ale and Gus. anxiety.
• 木, 30. you know when you are, like, suicidal? yeah. but at least I resisted the urge to self-harm so we win some we lose some, am I right? why tf am I talking about this here? I probably will delete this whole rant here later so if you are reading this... I am sorry, I guess?
• 金, 31. call with Ale and Gus. Lupercalia by Patrick Wolf. I've been overthinking about the story I have to write because I am crazy and can't even read my stories to my friends without almost dying. I started the 2nd season of The Umbrella Academy.

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• August⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀八月
• 土, 01. I decided I needed this list back because I don't have a journal so I need to put this kinda thing somewhere (but I am not gonna force myself to write 5 things). breaking news: I am still anxious about the whole writing thing!! I finished The Umbrella Academy.
• 日, 02. I messed everything up, as I would. went crying to Gabs and after some talking, we solved most of the misunderstandings of the last week. call with Gabs, Gus, and David in which many things happened but made me a little happier.
• 月, 03. that moment at 2 AM where Gus, David and I were trying to download a very specific episode of a British show (and failing). I played some Democracy 3. I watched and read more about witchcraft (and resumed reading Buckland's complete book of witchcraft).
• 火, 04. more reading on witchcraft and herbalism and plants names!!!!
• 水, 05. I finally decided to finish my list about the wheel of the year. Ale joined the call today and it was lovely. I started meditating. I want to meet the fae folk, can I meet the fae folk?
• 木, 06. be an astronaut by Declan McKenna. more on the wheel of the year. call with the whole gang (Ale, David, Gabs, and Gus). more meditating.
• 金, 07. we went in call with people from the dark academia server and it was lovely.
• 土, 08. I studied runes. I also played some Wilmot's Warehouse.
• 日, 09. my brother and niece came to visit. I slept through most of the day. kinda getting sick.
• 月, 10. mom called. I finally finished Buckland's guide on witchcraft.
• 火, 11. my mom asked my brother to check on me (since I'm sick) and he just sent a message. Gus, Ale and I read old conversations from our discord server. also Gus long-ass audio about his love misadventures.
• 水, 12. folklore by Taylor Swift again because this album is a mood.
• 木, 13. I don't know.
• 金, 14. call with CDF. Ale started watching My Hero Academia.
• 土, 15. David, Gabs and I played Dead Maze together.
• 日, 16. the slow cancellation of the future. David, Gabs, Gus and I played Stardew Valley together. I started reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer.
• 月, 17. maybe I really want to play Pathologic.
• 火, 18. Dead Maze with Gabs. call with Gabs and Gus. I need to learn how to apply foreign concepts to Brazil's particularities.
• 水, 19. I, like, went to sleep very early so I didn't do much this day.
• 木, 20. call with my lovely friends. A Different Kind of Human (Step 2) by Aurora. I watched Lady Bird (I need to say: my mom and I are just like that..... so... now I'm thinking if I'm also an ass like Lady Bird).
• 金, 21. I started watching Hannibal with Gus and we almost died already. killing must feel good to god too. he does it all the time. and are we not created in his image?
• 土, 22. call with my friends. Hannibal with Gus.
• 日, 23. "and it's so stupid it can happen when I should be happy. When I can be somewhere just filled with love and joy and then suddenly one little thing happens and bang, nine Gs, zero gravity, off you go, just hurtling through space with just like tin foil, nothing between me and just void. And I've gotta keep my spacesuit on. Keep it sealed uptight because the vacuum is just pulling. But I know. I know that if I can just be brave, and hang on, then I can get through it and I can land the thing, and I can come back down to Earth. And I can see the Earth again. Cause I want to. I wanna live. I am the cosmonaut."
• 月, 24. logic. call.
• 火, 25. studying. call. what to do when you feel yourself getting sad again google search.
• 水, 26. call again. The Greatest Showman's soundtrack.
• 木, 27. call. I don't knooooooooooow, I've been watching videos from the left tube no stop.
• 金, 28. harry potter is garbage and here's why. I played Orwell.
• 土, 29. call. I played a little bit of Orwell.
• 日, 30. the rise & fall of the third reich by William L Shirer.
• 月, 31. call. I deactivated my Facebook account. Who's Afraid of the Experts?

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• September⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀九月
• 火, 01. call with Ale and Gus. german. preparations for Hooptober. anxiety because I want to go to college.
• 水, 02. call. Gus and I finished Hannibal season 1.
• 木, 03. call with Ale, Gabs and Gus.
• 金, 04. Ale and I made a Halloween playlist.
• 土, 05. fuvest. I called my mom. played keep talking and nobody explodes with Ale and Gus.
• 日, 06. the day has barely started and I no longer have brain cells. I studied ieei. I also read The ABCs of Socialism.
• 月, 07. lots of disagreements idk. I wish I could disappear and start life anew somewhere else.
• 火, 08. I studied a little bit more. I tried to play The Sims, but ughhhhh. I watched ContraPoints take on Transtrenders, idk if I like it all that much (I need to watch more of her videos too).
• 水, 09. so, I messed up somehow because no one wants to talk to me anymore; now I need to find out what I did and say sorry despite no one talking to me orrrrrr I could just say fuck it and die alone on my room as I always knew I would end up doing (omg I'm such a drama queen).
• 木, 10. Gabsssss. call with David, Gabs and Gus. Brawlhalla. Crusaders Kings 3.
• 金, 11. Quinhentismo, Barroco, Arcadismo, Romantismo, Realismo.
• 土, 12. I woke up early. call with Gus.
• 日, 13. I don't remember <3
• 月, 14. Travelled to my mom's house.
• 火, 15. I watched Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (2020) and Gretel & Hansel (2020). studied more.
• 水, 16. studied so much I couldn't understand anything anymore and I started watching Definitely, Maybe (2008) on TV because I anything would be more interesting than studying. Read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.
• 木, 17. we went to Itupeva so mom could solve some things related to work idk. was very tiring. we had no electricity after we got home.
• 金, 18. I listened to Viracasacas episode about Mark Fisher. Why we build the wall on repeat. Read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.
• 土, 19. I studied a little. crying without any reason. I watched The Quake (2018) and Pet Sematary (1989) with mom.
• 日, 20. just sad sadness very sad.
• 月, 21. I watched My Spy (2020) and Escape from Auschwitz (2020) with mom. and then I did nothing. :)
• 火, 22. I AM BACK HOME FINALLY.

continues