my boyfriend likes to quote me on facebook:

• Me: Well, did you want to put the towels in the basket while I make the sandwiches? Bianca Jagoe: That doesn't really sound like something I would do
• "Don't disobey me or I'll punch you in the balls" - Bianca Jagoe
• Bianca Jagoe (calling from the room she is cleaning): I'm not enjoying this. It's hard! Me: Hard work can be rewarding Bianca: It's more rewarding when you do it
• "Don't disobey me or I'll punch you in the balls" - Bianca Jagoe
• "Cameron, look: my timetable looks like a dick" - Bianca Jagoe
• "Is that your head that hurts or mine?" - Bianca Jagoe (This is actually a vintage quote for Ank way back in the first week we were together. Thought i should post it for posterity's sake)
• "How boring would it be if I actually spoke to you nicely" - Bianca Jagoe
• "I'm going to run around the house, like a superhero, killing fleas" - Bianca Jagoe
• Bianca Jagoe (with excited glint in her eye): "Only two more years until the next World Cup!"
• "Oh no, what have we come home to? The cats watching Nickelback" - Bianca Jagoe
• "I had a dream last night where all these people from the Internet came over. And they all got nits. And I was like, "who brought nits to my house?!"" - Bianca Jagoe
• Bianca Jagoe: "Have you known any other Biancas?" Me: "No, I don't think so" Bianca: "Good! I can be the only one!!"
• "You can sing "We're off to Never Never Land" in a tough voice but it's still a lame lyric" - Bianca Jagoe
• "My life is over, Cameron. I'll never be a professional tennis player" - Bianca Jagoe
• (In regard to the names of our last two kittehs): "Dexter and Morrissey - we're such fan girls!" - Bianca Jagoe
• "Your favourite things to do are: listen to music; go on Facebook; play bass; and get me food" - Bianca Jagoe
• "Why are you so lame and daggy?" - Bianca Jagoe. Can't really argue with that accusation
• "I almost had a sexy Gotye dream last night" - Bianca Jagoe. I suppose I should commend her on her sub-conscious' self control?
• ‎"Cameron, the quicker you find me some undies, the quicker I'll have undies" - Bianca Jagoe
• "I could be an atheist Mormon" - Bianca Jagoe
• "Would our cats have to be Mormon?" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Cameron, if I don't get my breakfast now, I'm going to staple your face to your penis" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"I love you and I want you to be happy, but I don't want to have to do anything to make that happen" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"I don't even know how to make vaginas out of marzipan" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"You know that feeling when you eat bread and you hurt your back?" - Bianca Jagoe - I think she's doing it wrong
• ‎Bianca Jagoe, while deliriously sick with hayfever and eating yoghurt: "I want to smear this yoghurt on my face...I think I will" after which proceeds to smear yoghurt on face
• "I don't think my voice suits my face" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"There has to be rules for there to be fun" - Bianca Jagoe on Scrabble
• ‎"Today, a man in a beret spat all over my arms" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"The store manager even used my name today - after he read it on my name badge" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Why do I always have cat hair in my mouth?" - Bianca Jagoe
• "Who owns the Internet?" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"I don't even know how to use our washing machine" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"I wish celery came in double choc chip flavour. Then I'd eat it for every fucken meal, every fucken day" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Did you know you can't hide people or apps [on Facebook] anymore? That's one of my favourite features" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Sometimes I think you have to be on acid or weed to enjoy Phish" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Shitting cock-sticks!" - Bianca Jagoe cursing after pricking herself whilst stitching
• ‎"It's not a race boys!" - Bianca Jagoe to the Tour de France riders in the time trials
• ‎"I feel like I'm going vomit out of my eyeballs" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"It's nice pretending you're a man" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Cameron, I reserve the right make you quit [your new job] if I feel as though I am not being fed enough" - Bianca Jagoe
• Me: So it's going to be Japan and USA [in the Womens World Cup final]" Bianca: "Just like World War II!"
• ‎"And then big shit happens and ra ra ra..." -Bianca Jagoe explaining to me what happens in the latest Harry Pothead movie
• ‎"I wish you were a girl" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎"Mhawww, rosemary bread with your potato and leek soup - heaven!....I'm going to piss myself!" - Bianca Jagoe
• ‎Bianca Jagoe: "Can I cut off your eyelashes and put them on my eyelashes?" Me: "No"
• ‎"Leave me alone. I'm allowed to hate everything and not want to do anything!" - Bianca Jagoe
• Bianca Jagoe (to the whinging kittehs): "Don't pretend you're hungry - I fed you, like, three days ago!"
• ‎"Before I met you I didn't like the name Cameron. I thought it was a gay name for gaybos" - Bianca Jagoe
• Bianca Jagoe while skipping through the video of her uni lecture: "Yeah, yeah just get to the bit where I walk out!"