in general, anything relating to death or memory loss scares me the most | biggest fear of my biggest fears | ♠ things i find scientifically fascinating but also frightening

• death, and all death-related concepts
  • the aging process and the more intense concepts relating to it
    • completely losing my sense of taste
    • inevitably reaching the precipice upon which i will be permanently hyperaware that it's now likely for me to die a natural death sooner than later simply because i'm old enough for it if nothing else
    • losing all my hair
    • losing mental autonomy
    • losing physical autonomy
    • tooth decay & losing my teeth
  • being in a life-or-death situation in which i'm willing to do almost anything to stay alive and being killed anyway
  • car accidents
  • the concept of dying before either of my partners, particularly because i don't want them to be traumatized by the loss and i wouldn't know what becomes of them or if they're able to pass peacefully themselves
  • the concept of my brother not knowing how much i love him before he died
  • the concept of my partners being uncertain how much i love them if i die before them and can't be here to reassure them
  • the concept that death might erase consciousness so entirely that my brother doesn't even realize he died at 19 and never got to live out the long life he deserved and can't mourn for that catastrophic loss
  • the concept that the process of death might erase consciousness so entirely that i won't even realize i'm dead so i won't be able to grieve everything i lost by no longer being alive or express gratitude for the rest of eternity for everything i was able to have while here
  • the death of either of my partners, but especially the concept of them not having a peaceful, natural death
  • the fact that my brother may have suffered alone for hours before dying and i'll never know if he did or not
  • witnessing a death of any kind in real time
• "end of the world" concepts & scenarios
  • climate change & the general decaying of the planet
    • living organisms going extinct
  • the complete dissolution of society
  • global food & water shortage
  • losing housing
  • technological overthrow of society
• the fact that how much i care about something has no influence over how i'm actually able to interact with it; loving something with my whole heart and soul doesn't make me objectively incapable of forgetting it, caring about something with every fiber of my being doesn't make me objectively able to impact it in any way
• gas chambers
• the inconceivable vastness of space ♠
• insect infestations
• the mechanics of nuclear weapons ♠
• mob mentality
• my partners losing interest in me
• pathogens
  • botulism
  • insects interacting directly with my body in ways that invade beyond the surface of my flesh
    • stinging insects, such as wasps
    • mosquitos
  • the mechanics of cancer as a disease ♠
  • the mechanics of fungi as living organisms ♠
  • mold
  • parasites and parasitic dynamics of any kind
    • placental pregnancy
• public humiliation
• severe memory loss
  • degenerative cognitive disorders
    • my partners forgetting me or me forgetting my partners while i'm still alive
  • forgetting important things and not being cognizant enough to realize i've forgotten them
• something happening to make my partners not trust me anymore
• the subject matter of trypophobia (which will not be described here due to me having it)
• the unknown
• violence, particularly domestic violence & sexual violence
• wind turbines ♠