- all of the toxic things normalized/romanticized by media that are presented as aspects of normal or even ideal relationships that make absolutely no sense in real life regarding actual human abilities and what's reasonable behavior to expect from another person or have expected of you, or is appropriate behavior to exhibit towards someone you're supposed to love
- that making complete sacrifices for someone is more readily encouraged and considered more emotionally meaningful than making an effort to compromise so that no one has to completely go without their own needs being met
- loving someone and being loved does not and should not mean sacrificing yourself; if someone loves you, it wouldn't make sense for them to want you or prefer you to completely sacrifice yourself because loving you would mean they value you and your needs; if your partner doesn't value your needs equally to their own, they don't love you because that's not what love is, that just doesn't make sense
- that codependency is a good thing in any way or is a sign of truly caring about someone more than anyone else
- caring about someone more than anyone else does would mean you absolutely value their personhood and their individual wants and needs, it makes no sense for what you want or what you want for them to supersede their own wants because if you're disregarding their wants or needs, you can't possibly actually care about them, that's not what care is
- everyone involved in a relationship should be fiercely valuing the independence of the other and protecting that independence from whatever may try to harm it, including themselves; true care for another is being selfless without being self-sacrificing because equal partnership would innately warrant that that person would care for you the same way in return, they would also be selfless without being self-sacrificing; your desires to protect each other because you care for one another and caring for yourselves properly especially because you know the other values you is why you'd be partners in the first place
- that relationships should eventually reach a state of being absolutely effortless rather than continually be based on mutual effort from all parties as you continue to grow and change over time
- as human beings none of us will ever reach a state where we can no longer improve our behavior in some way, relationships require maintenance and that's why you're together, because you're worth each other's effort when things aren't easy
- that fighting is considered normal
- misunderstandings and arguments are understandable, communicating is difficult, but full out fighting with someone you love is nonsense, it makes absolutely no sense to practice hostility towards someone you supposedly care about
- that the concept of revenge even exists for partners, like ignoring your partner or doing things to spite them when you're angry at them is somehow acceptable behavior towards someone you're supposed to love
- it makes absolutely no sense to wish harm or discomfort on someone you supposedly care about for any reason, much less actively seek to cause it yourself, that's not what care is; if you love someone you value them, so it makes no sense to wish harm or discomfort on someone you value, throwing away or breaking things you value is inherently contradictory
- if you are hurt, it makes sense to seek appropriate compensation for how you were hurt, but beyond that is cruelty and contradictory to love as a concept, which is inherently based on desire for good; if you love one another it doesn't make sense to focus on anything except a fair solution that meets the needs of everyone involved; revenge is just adding more pain to pain, wishing pain on your partner is not love
- that when people truly love each other, they will eventually reach a state of no longer needing to communicate
- humans are not telepathic, it is literally impossible to know what someone else wants, how they feel, and what they're thinking without communicating at all, especially because what humans want at any given time is very likely to evolve, especially over time
- understanding your partner doesn't mean no longer needing to communicate with them, it means you can effectively communicate with them because you're familiar with things like their world view and values and critical thinking process and you have faith in their desire to be good to you so you're willing to do things like suspend disbelief when you get the impression the they've harmed you intentionally or practice patience when communication becomes strained because you have sympathy for how human beings are imperfect and misunderstandings are very easy for us to have; it means that when you miscommunicate you can follow along when they try to explain things and you can see why they come to the conclusions they come to, even if the conclusion was ultimately incorrect; understanding one another is you both being willing to make an effort to clarify things and discuss things until you see eye-to-eye, for as long or with as much work as that may take, because you find one-another worth the effort and have faith in the other's integrity in your relationship, understanding is patience and sympathy, loving one-another is being committed to permanently staying on the minefield of human communication together no matter what happens because you share the same goal of maintaining a partnership and you have faith that being human is what planted all the mines, not each other
- that "addict" "-holic" "junkie", etc. are used casually as terms and addiction is glorified as a concept in general
- that caffeine addiction is glorified and romanticized rather than shown the same level of concern as other addictive substances, such as alcohol or nicotine, despite that it is a drug; it is specifically used for the way it chemically alters the state of mind and is widely understood to be an addictive substance that causes withdrawal symptoms that harm the body
- i have seen so many coffee and caffeine-related statements on products in stores that if replaced with the word "alcohol" or "nicotine", etc. would probably alarm people to see being sold casually as a product
- alcohol is always a good idea
- alcohol makes mondays/everything possible
- alcohol, because adulting is hard
- don't talk to me until i've had my alcohol
- i don't drink alcohol to wake up, i wake up to drink alcohol
- i'm not me until i've had my alcohol
- i'm not sure what the question is, but the answer is alcohol
- life begins after alcohol
- three cups of alcohol a day keeps the doctor away
- the overwhelmingly prevalent misconception that the ability to remember things predominantly depends on how much one values what needs to be remembered
- there are several neurological and psychological conditions/factors that affect the way memories are formed and recalled, most of which biologically override the subjective emotional value of things, and many of which can exist without necessarily being part of an entire disorder because human memory is a complex thing
- it would make no sense to view people with dementia or alzheimer's as not remembering their wedding anniversary or birthdates because they don't care about them enough to or view people with ptsd as often remembering their trauma decades later with the same level of extremely vivid detail because they really value the memory of being traumatized and super want to remember it, so why would you view people with adhd (for example) as being forgetful specifically because you've decided they don't care about things enough or don't want to remember things bad enough to remember them? there's clearly more at work influencing memory than desire alone because it's nonsense to think that them being chronically late, unable to maintain their own physical wellness, unable to form habits, and their inconsistent behavior harming their relationships makes life super fun and easy and enjoyable such that it would even be possible for them to have no adequate want or desire to remember things
aug 12 2023 ∞
aug 15 2023 +