• surprisingly good vibe that day - i'm scared of myself.
• pick-up lines not good, humour it is.
• little compatible interests
• weirdo thinking i love the clothes that i see. oh lord

+

• why the sudden attachment?
  • 爱死你 （means love you to death)
  • 一千零一夜的死神 （1001 nights and the prince death)
  • carousel
  • cake while listening to music, alone
• The vibe
  • nice and presentable
  • sucker for romance
  • i am just a little past time- for boredom's sake (yes, i am)
  • do you do this often?
  • wife/gf? -thinking of the age here (darn right)
  • slight introv? the looks - but the actions and stories.. it might not be. (i get it, it's extrov with a little introv nature)
  • broken-hearted?
  • you are so smart, yes you, not me

but-

• long distance
• i need to know what is with GG or else- will be disturbed for life (I courageously asked)
• higher social status
• will never see
  • if one day, shall meet- then what?
• am i breaking the rules?
• why am i still waiting?
• why can't i stop thinking?
• i am not myself

+

• The fish doesn't care, you fool
• but why must someone make others feel this impossible shit?
• if this could be the only reason to get by, would this continue or i'm left with nothing?
• how could i wait forever and stare at this and think of unbelievable things?

the truth is- maybe i can't do anything. i am eaten up by some strange fish and i can't get out, i'll die inside and it's contented that it sucked all my flesh and energy in an instant. my soul forever wandering and wondering why.

-

I am disturbed.

EDIT:

• 哥哥- 妹妹
• 现在我是水兵兔。 为什么？(this is a part of fantasy)
• How pathetic. I'm so pathetic.

As of Dec 2014: Done with this.