Things that are my priority to make my ECQ life more livable and my environment conducive to productivity.

PC stuff

• ✔ headphones
  • HD58x
• ✔ mouse
  • Sensei 10
  • Razer Pro Click
• ✔ keyboard
  • Ducky one 2 TKL
• scanner
  • Epson v600?
• ✔ tablet
  • Wacom Intuos Pro
• ✔ Bluetooth speaker

• "It's not my story anymore: whenever I speak about the past now, I feel as if I were talking about something that has nothing to do with me. All that remains in the present are the voice, the presence, and the importance of fulfilling my mission. I don't regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today, I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn't remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right."
• Your partner's idiosyncrasies do not surprise you, for you know that it takes all kinds to make a world
• “I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A ...

being in a standstill has made me realize a lot of things

• i think keeping and focusing on my own interests are better than trying to keep relationships with other people tight like they once were
• i've been alienated from society. not talking is awesome
• i was able to discover a lot more interests. i'm more informed now than ever
• some people can get on with their lives without checking up on you
• there are still some people who would keep on supporting you, and dream with you
• i wanna take care of relationships with people who matter
• i learned how not to spend even for things i want
• i learned how to stay at ease at home
• i enjoy moments with my sibs and would like to keep taking care of my relationship...

• don't judge them by their online actions
• they should be more interesting in real life
• their faces are /different/ in person, mostly better cuz it's real (doh)
• it's okay to look at them superficially, no matter how hard it may be

• they are playmates in pc games, in videogames, and in real life
• they love having good food
• they hang a lot and never get sick of each other
• they never get too busy for the other
• they are never bored; there's fun in shared silence too
• they do odd stuff for fun
• they enjoy randomness
• they talk about things too- things they think about, things that bother them, things they feel deep inside
• they pretend to be mature and sociable towards others

• t1i
• cucumber sponge
• a blender
• http://www.imdb.com/list/E-s8qATSics/

• "I have no life"-thought-inducing moments
• "You're trying way too hard and failing at it" peeps
• Any form of douchebaggery
• Anything constricting my "life"
• Anything slow-moving/dragging
• Being underestimated
• Boredom
• Compulsive liars
• Copycats
• Creepers
• Explaining technical stuff
• Grumps
• Lame moments
• Lewd jokes
• Math problems
• Narrow-minded conservatives who try to get in your way
• People who overestimate themselves
• Pessimistic adults

• care about my punctuations, spelling, grammar, and capitalizations online that much
• be an exceptionally nice kid
• like techies
• like coding, programming and all that computer savant stuff
• like heavy metal songs
• and before that, I liked pop songs (back to pop)
• make everyone smile (hope I still)
• dance
• be a good runner
• watch a lot of anime and read manga
• think cool of really witty trolls and have my fave trolls

Things which bring me good vibes:

• Having finally reached decisions. (A convincingly good one at the time)
• Hyper days
• Great food
• Binging after starving myself
• Wide open spaces with lotsa fresh air
• And wide empty paved roads
• Nightscapes
• Seeing something I actually like to buy and buying it
• Catching good music
• My parents being supportive (which is, virtually, always)
• Bullying people jokingly (effective destressant - is that a word? I guess not.)
• Dreams which make me hope and believe
• Comedies. Humor in general
• (Happy) people
• Altruistic deeds
• Good-natured people

Working preoccupations:

• SLEEPING
• Looking for new good music
• Playing games
• Crazy bonding time with sis
• Reading my fave magazines
• Sleeping.
• Reading books
• Researching on stuff in the net

Those which may or may not work all the way:

• Drawing
• Watching TV/movies
• Going out w/ friends (depends on friends)
• Surfing net

Anything accompanied by lying in bed will work.

Someday I'll

• Get lost in some alien country
• Experience that First Day of My Life
• Mutual inspiration and appreciation

• I'm a huge introvert
  • EDIT:
    • I'm an introvert to closed groups of people.
    • I can deal with strangers
    • I have a tendency of being disinterested in what the masses do, so I don't bother taking part
  • This gets me confused since I become an extrovert to a certain kind of crowd or closest pals
• You will know I trust you a lot when I look you in the eyes while talking to you
• I tend to try to lift other's spirits by comparing their situations to worse ones especially making myself an example
• I do not have the interest to flirt with guys I don't dig
• I have monolids that become double eyelid...

• a trusty drinking buddy
• ready-to-chill/roll anytime/anywhere peeps!
• people who like same music as me
• people who like/love to write
• people who are not so technical
• people who do artsy stuff
• people who do stuff

Projections. Setting ol' self straight and talking myself back to growth.

• Back to taking my insights on life a bit more seriously. Being able to become a source of insights is always good
• I am a smart person and I will stay true to what I think is right
• I will pay more attention to developing my creative outputs in an effort to discover another source of income
• Recovering the normal volume of my voice and not just being too nice
• Possibly the hardest: stop loneliness

sigh. when my buttons are pushed, my emotions go into a rollercoaster. angry spins to calm stops in one ride.

• I hate when you keep asking me to your movies when i don't even spend for movies i wanna watch
• when you talk to me and i'm available, i reply quickly, but then you don't answer back. fuck when no proper convos are made.
• we never talk about smart things.
• when you don't ever try to be smart.
• when you ditch me for boys
• when you don't think of my situation and keep feeling sorry for yourself
• when you think you know me too well. let's not get ahead of ourselves ok?
• when you talk to me in textspeak and talk to others in complete words. i dont remember ever being like that.
• when ANYONE doesn't bother to take me ser...

Achieving some of these would fulfill me

• Become an environmentalist
  • Take environmental science courses
  • Not into saving people per se, but saving the innocent greeneries from people sounds better to me
• Paint as an outlet of thoughts
• Study abroad
• Make it to NY or London
• Live in an English speaking country

• correlating stuff
• drawing faces
• listening to insightful stories
• making pancakes
• running (haven't been in a while)
• spending time reading
• spending time watching
• staying alone
• staying up late
• talking about my observations
• thinking about feelings
• using colored pencils
• walking (even aimlessly sometimes)

Some traits of people I kinda got tired of:

• trying to be cool
  • how can anyone be cool anyway when they ask for others' approval
  • and other reasons
• trying to pretend like they can influence
• talking about the same stuff over and over never changing in years
• being all about themselves
  • Listography and some online profiles can be excused xD
• trying to impress by geeking off to the max
• those who love drama a bit too much
• people who always try to make themselves look good
• "I'm always right, here's why" people

• how do you fight in the internet without looking stupid
• why is it easy to fall in "love" with a stranger (not online, but the way someone's mystery draws you)
• things that could make me happy without wanting and getting much
• how can one love someone for everything he is
• how difficult or perhaps impossible it is to regain trust
• old age deals. you cannot be alone or it will be unbearably sad.

A collective of what's important... because sometimes I forget.

• education
• having enough saved up for sending kids to school and old age
• be healthy
• stay God-fearing

An update to the list for 2012

• good intentions
• smiles that are undistracted
• not driven by money
• respectful of rights
• quirkiness in action and/or words
• kindness I guess
• can properly express his/her opinions

Some things I dream of doing which have no chance of actually happening in real life.

• Be knowledgeable enough to give a fun and convincing lecture on some socially relevant issue... :D
• Fly to outer space.
• Invent something.
• Redo univ. with a different major.
• Actually, study abroad.
• I wish time could fit everything I wanted to do for the day.

• One day, life, you will be my bitch.
• Have myself a treehouse
• Get you drunk and leave you in the streets! (impossible now...)
• Graduate?
• See that fatty (gave up)
• Win over the heart of that hard to get person
• Watch my health
• Wear sundresses
• Attend EDC
• Be responsible (does this belong here)

Things I wish I could do but can't because of lack of means or instruments (or basically money).

• Read a lot of books
• Improve on my art
• Learn how to paint
• Bike every early in the morning
• Take lots of photographs
• Take care of my skin

Problems with me:

• which'll get me in deep shit from time to time
• which'll make my life a little less easier
• which makes me disagreeable

--

• My procrastinating abilities (significantly less now)
• Laziness (during either unnaturally hot or cold weathers)
• My very loose time-awareness
• My mind makes extreme decisions alot
• Over optimism...
• Not replying to messages sent to me
  • PMs
  • IMs
  • emails

• techies
• party cravers/social butterflies
• sloths/bums
• otakus/fanatics
• drinkers/smokers
• superficial machos

• tall, like, elegantly tall
• cute smile
• worked arms
• large bony hands
• skinny
• a believer
• broody tendencies
• a t-shirt guy
• protective
• knows how to give sweet little presents
• generally fun
• games
• broad shoulders
• short wavy or shaggy unkempt hair
• a bit of a cynic/rebellious tendencies
• sincere
• good-natured
• appreciates art
• has a soul
• likes happy lovely music
• has a passion for something (hobbies)

List o stuff I plan on getting.

Easy gets:

• more clothes and shoes o.o
  • superga sneaks
  • new flojos flops
  • ✔ flipflops for rainy days
  • ✔ black flipflops
  • trainers 07.08.11
  • ✔ running shoes
  • ✔ trekking slippers 03.16
• ✔ candy mountain passes
• ipod?
• ✔ new phone
• ✔ my dream iphone
• one moleskine journal zz
• a new bike (fixie)
• ✔ gintama cds
• new pair of glasses
• shirts
• hula hoop

I think about my possible work environment a lot.

Things I tell myself:

• I won't ever be a hundred percent working adult
• I will make time to do things I've always dreamt of doing
• I'll keep myself in the loop in all my interests
• I'll go places even if I'm alone.
• I'll use my money wisely, not for peers or food splurges

Fears in the workplace:

• I don't want to hang with workmates that are too pedestrian and boring
• Karaoke invites
• I don't want to hang with techies
• I don't want to be a blue-collar slave
• As a programmer, I might never meet interesting people

• a children's illustrated book
• a novel
• paintings?

• you can be happy being single but there will still be times not having someone will get to you. anyone else can try to make it better but it is still different when they're not yours. it'll be just as temporary as it gets.
• you want somebody to share small memorable intimate moments with.
• you want some sort of best friend.
• being truly in love makes you feel like you can do whatever you want.
• somebody really cares about you. and it's great because you care for them a lot to.
• you feel beautiful being the only person in someone's eyes.
• physical warmth. you can hold hands.

• it is something thoroughly thought of
• it could have a deep meaning behind it
• it could be a clever idea
• make it inexpensive
• it is either simple or out of the ordinary
• it isn't something out of my to-buy list

• people i like being with
• people i would incessantly believe in (a perk they get from me)
• people i would ask to join me and do something crazy or boring
• people i would like to always help inspire
• people i like to make happy
• people i would push to do what they wanted

• “And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long." Sylvia Plath
• ‎"I must conquer my loneliness alone. I must be happy with myself or I have nothing to offer you. Two halves have little choice but to join; And yes, they do make a whole. But two wholes when they coincide. . . That is beauty. That is love." Peter McWilliams
• And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away. John Steinbeck

• The Big Bang Theory: shitty show. That's that.
• My glasses are missing
• My major and how much I regret taking it
• The fact that I cannot be bothered into learning how to drive that lonely and willing car in our garage
• That I cannot like or be with some people because of the world even though I want to
• What my father doesn't understand
• Emoing online... or me slipping out emoness online
• Being a downer to people
• Hunger
• The feeling I am missing out on a lot, making me wish I were born someplace else
• Feeling like I'm wasting time
• Anyone getting disappointed at what I do with my life
• Being affected by what people think of me...