- 1996: Born in Lerwick, largest town in the Shetland archipelago. Arrived four weeks early due to my mother, being a classic blonde and all, lifting a heavy TV.
- 1997: Moved to Glasgow, the ''crime capital of Europe''. Grew up in a rough neighbourhood riddled with sectarianism.
- 1998: Attended my first Celtic FC match, accompanied by my grandpa. Got caught up in an post-match riot which saw me falling out my pram and rolling into the road.
- 1999: Went abroad to Iceland, where my dad's from. Saw the aurora borealis, initiating a lifelong love for the cosmos. Got the toddler hots for an Icelandic boy.
- 2000: Nothing I can remember, really!
- 2001: Spent the autumn in New York. Witnessed the 9/11 terrorist attacks with my very eyes. Back home in Scotland, I started a very Protestant-dominated state school. Ingrid, my sister, was born after a harrowing labour.
- 2002: Had the shit ripped out of me for being Catholic at aforementioned school. Moved to a denominational school.
- 2003: Expelled from Catholic school for rugby-tackling a nun to the ground. Attended an anti-war rally in London, my first taste for political activism. Moved to Iceland.
- 2004: Became pescetarian after visiting a veal factory. Later gave up fish during the whaling season. Became involved with the Social Democratic Alliance of Iceland.
- 2005: Achieved fluency in Icelandic. Went to Russia. Befriended Roan, my future boyfriend, after growing potatoes together for a school project.
- 2006: Had a concussion in the middle of Manchester. Taken into hospital. After recovering, I fell down the stairs and lost consciousness. Spent a month in the hospital.
- 2007: Fell in love with Che Guevara. Turned my bedroom into a Cuban shrine in his honour. Held my grandpa's hand as he died. Became an atheist.
- 2008: Briefly became vegan, though soon realised I didn't have the strength, money or willpower to go through with it.
- 2009: Had beer bottles thrown at me as I unknowingly wandered into East Belfast (a bastion of British unionism) wearing a Celtic top. I pelted some back.
- 2010: Entered into a relationship with Roan. Fell in love with the Far East after trips to Japan, Korea, Taiwan and China. Failed my exams. Was diagnosed with depression.
- 2011: Lost my virginity around the back of a dance hall. Landed myself a handy wee job on the school magazine. Retook my exams and passed all them with flying colours.
- 2012: Survived a head-on car crash. Went to Palestine. Spent the night of my 16th birthday in jail for protesting the existence of nuclear submarines at Faslane.
- 2013: Split up with Roan. Immersed myself in the YES Scotland campaign for independence. Decided to move to Edinburgh early in 2014. Became Catholic once again.
mar 25 2014 ∞
apr 17 2014 +