- rekindling my relationship with my friends from high school. they are so weird and nerdy in the best way possible, so fun to be around.
- my brother, who is in his first year of university. i am so proud of him. he is my biggest critic and my biggest fan, like my coach who yells everything i'm doing wrong and then pats me on the back and tells me "go get 'em." and i do. funniest person i know. my little bro. always.
- my mom, who makes me meals like she has ever since i was a little kid walking the 2 minutes home for lunch break. who sat with me in the grass transcribing my poetry before i could write. we're both healing, repeating "life goes on" like a prayer.
- my dad, who lights up like the sun when he tells me about his work, who yells at the tv with me every race weekend. who fixes everything before i have a chance to ask him to. who tells me again, and again, "you're smarter than you think you are."
- the ramblers, who i realize i've known for years somehow... a quiet force in my life. who support me no matter how much our paths diverge. weeks go by, exams threaten to drown me. let it happen. i'll come running back to you.
- evie, who, despite everything, is there. her. that's the post. her smile. her taste in music, her love for life. watching the sunset bleed pastel pink into the sea, the words between us unsaid, "i don't know anymore." and yet, waving goodbye to her in the parking lot, i think i'm okay with that. screaming custer wasted on apple vodka, keeling over laughing. running from raccoons. running toward an uncertain future. the world is ours.
- c, who, is a diamond in the rough in the truest sense. who listens to every song i cautiously send him, and always tries to find a way to compliment it but is carefully honest, so i can tell when he stops short of saying he "likes it." who says in a decade and a half, he's never met someone as bright, intellectually curious, and artistic as me. walking next to him and looking up at him feels right. i'll make you proud, if not with my achievements, with myself, with being better, happier, i promise. "be good to yourself."
- em, who, despite my best efforts, despite all these years, knows me better than i know myself. who cuts through everything with just a question, and well, i can't argue with that. their mind. their creativity. their understated, earth-tilting insights, like they're on a higher level of existence than all of us. how lucky i am to have known you.
- everyone in my new cohort, especially those of us from the dorms. forcing me to eat when i'm sick with anxiety and can't even think to, as much as i try to refuse. scolding me for everything. taking care of me. "yeah, baby?" who ask me to explain philosophy to them, who shield the lighter for me when it's windy out, who work so hard, who check in with me, who let me know i'm not alone in this. "i'll see you at graduation." "we'll see."
nov 21 2024 ∞
nov 23 2024 +