what i've been told others see in me or associate me with

traits — artistic, philosophical, insightful, thoughtful, overly self-critical, standoffish, neurotic, apathetic, perfectionistic, a good listener, obsessive, a good teacher, shy, academic, inert, struggles with commitment, attracted to dark things, loves animals, a good writer, intelligent, well-spoken, isolated, talks quickly, mature for my age, wants to hide from the world, good taste in music, feels defective, assumes the worst from others, funny/witty/sarcastic, mysterious (lmao), self-sabotaging, open-minded, curious, patient with others, my need for praise from older men (:/), my self-destructive tendencies (:/), my love of music (:D)

associations — motorcycles (i like this one), being "emo" or "edgy" (i don't like this one), fictional detectives, blood, rosé, nu metal, prog metal, metalcore, london fogs, wolfcuts, formula 1, esp. leclerc & verstappen, jazz, spacing out, mint chewing gum, black converse, vampires, carefully curated online presences, interplay between the flesh & the mechanical & the divine, catholic guilt, masked characters, rap music, black nail polish, sacrificial lamb and dog motifs, cross necklaces, cowboys (especially edgy / goth ones, cyborgs, two countries i have nothing to do with but have been vibe assigned inexplicably: russia and italy.