a messy, angsty list that will always change.

• i'll lay on the floor / touch me til i vomit / i'm not scared of god, i'm scared he was gone all along
• good morning, show me the place where he inserted the blade / or praise the lord, burn my house / i get lost, i freak out / you come home and hold me tight / as if it never happened at all / where is your light? am i home? / i will try not to keep you too long
• i don't go out, but i'll do it for you / i hate to dance, but i'd dance with you, cause i'd do anything to feel your touch / don't like anybody, tell me why it's different with you / don't believe in love, but no one makes me feel like you do / i don't say it much 'cause i just always thought that you knew / it's what you do to me / i'm wrapped around your finger, and i can't stop / you know i got a soft spot for you
• i feel alone in my body / i was never enough / but what if i was?
• you said you like the bags under my eyes / only feel a thing when you're dragging with the knife / guess i miss you, though / hands 'round my neck, heavenly unfold / you're rotting on the inside / looking in the mirror, gazing back with vacant eyes / wounds weeping, bruised, you think you feel alive?
• i'm becoming less defined as days go by / fading away / and well, you might say / i'm losing focus / kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how i see myself / sometimes i think i can see right through myself
• i know, i know, i am what i am / the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb
• never give you my feelings / fuck with you from a distance / some put it on the devil when they fall short / i put it on my ego, lord of all lords / i love when you count me out / my name is in your mouth
• tripping eyes and flooded lungs / northern downpour sends its love
• jesus christ, that's a pretty face / the kind you'd find on someone that could save / jesus christ, i'm not scared to die / i'm a little bit scared of what comes after / i know you're coming in the night like a thief / but i've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
• i sat in the quiet imagining you heard the same sound despite how loud your mind always was / collapsing into your scent like the moments you'd come in late / with the night's chill still clinging to the leather jacket she used to latch onto / like one day she might not be able to feel you beneath it / the thing is, there's no bridge for bypassing crucifixion
• i didn't want to notice / didn't know the gun was loaded / what kind of asshole drives a lotus?
• see, the sea wants to take me / the knife wants to slit me / do you think you can help me?
• down on the west coast, they love their movies / their golden gods and rock and roll groupies / and you've got the music in you, don't you? / you push it hard, i pull away, i'm feelin' hotter than fire / te deseo, cariño, boy, it's you i desire / i can see my baby swingin' / his parliament's on fire and his hands are up / i can see my sweet boy swayin' / he's crazy y cubano como yo, l-love / on the balcony, and i'm sayin' / move baby, i'm in love
• i draw a line in my life / singing this is the new way i behave now / telling you things you don't need to know / letting you know i trust you so much / i draw a line in my skin / i'm pinning down inchoate meaning / do i double down because i'm stubborn?
• scumbag fuck, but i swear that he's not / he's so good to me and to nobody else / so you should watch yourself
• tapping out / in my head i see bright lights / taking hits for you / because i want to feel like i'm supposed to / and i'll break for you, baby / because you make it feel so good
• make your heart stop if i give you too much attention
• i feel soon / i will sink into you / there's still blood in your hair / i've got the bruise of the year / you have weak wrists, but i'll keep you
• tell you how i felt / sugar coated melting in your mouth / pardon my emotions / i should probably keep it all to myself / know you'd make fun of me / can you see me? i'm waiting for the right time / i can't read you, but if you want, the pleasure's all mine
• she turns me on / she makes me real / i have to apologize for the way i feel / peel off our skin, we're gonna burn what we were to the ground / fuck in the fire and we'll spread all the ashes around / i wanna kill away the rest of what's left, and i do
• lay your hand across my face / time we lost, that's all my fault / please don't be long, because i want your love / life is too short, but i will live for you, my selfless love