* The Eternally Dissatisfied

They find fault with seemingly everything and are never satisfied with anyone. You help them, they resent you; you avoid them, they resent you; you side with them, they resent you; you argue with them, they resent you; you speak to them, they resent you; you fall silent, they resent you... There's just no winning, and you lose yourself in the process of trying to placate them.

* The Assumers

Often as a result of a fundamental lack of respect between the two of you, deep-seated insecurities of their own, or because you are failing to address their crucial needs, these people will constantly, in any given situation, assume the worst about you. If something you mentioned doesn't add up to what they've previously heard, you must be lying. If you convey surprise at something they tell you, you must be second-guessing them. If you express an opinion around them, you must be thinking they're too stupid to have their own. No matter what you do, your every action will be taken in the worst possible light. You might survive for a while by explaining and apologizing every time this happens, but always being the bad guy eventually gets old and your ego will go from being healthily suppressed to brutally wounded.

* The Suffocators

These people often genuinely care, but this caring becomes toxic when combined with their chronic inability to let go. Can resort to bizarre, harmful tendencies (eg. threats) if you get too close to anyone who is not them, and will take your need for solitude as a personal insult. Sometimes overlap with the above category.

* The Chronically Competitive

Right off the bat, these people see you not as a companion or an equal, but as an object of competition. They constantly vie with you for some imaginary prize (eg. attention) and engage you in battles you never signed up for. If they don't feel better than you in any given area, they will either smear you with lies and misrepresentations, or imitate you until they very nearly become you. This type can be the most emotionally draining, and the perpetrator's self-esteem is often inversely proportional to the degree of damage they'll inflict over time.

* The Bullies

A difficult breed to spot and fight back against- partly because they often don't realize what they're doing- these are the people who constantly turn you into a verbal punchbag, especially when others are around to listen. Though they might be close to you, they'll take every opportunity they can to get laughs at your expense- insulting you, poking fun at your passions/interests, etc. Though teasing each other is a normal, healthy part of all good friendships, these people routinely cross the line by making the joking excessively mean-spirited. If possible, confront this person and let them know how you feel; they might not realize what they're doing. Failing that, punch them. Hard.

* The Ill-intentioned

Don't ever kid yourself, these people are not interested in who you are as a human being. They don't care about your welfare or thoughts or feelings. They want you around for shallow, petty reasons that boil down to using you; to impress others, because they momentarily have no one else/need what you have to offer, because they know you'll drop everything else to hear about their problems, because they view you as a novelty or source of entertainment, etc. Humor them to be polite, but don't get too attached.

* The Illusionists

These people will take you to be their messiah. They will place you on a pedestal and worship you, and all your insistences that you're a normal person who wants to be treated normally will fall on deaf ears. They will never see you as you truly are; all they want is for you to fit the idealized picture they have in their head. Being human, you will one day do something that will completely contradict their distorted idea of you, and all hell will break loose. You will be severely defamed for not living up to an image you never even chose to put out there.

* The Simply Incompatible

The only ones of the bunch who may very well be normal and well-adjusted, these people will never accept you as you are simply because they happen to dislike what makes you, you; your priorities, flaws, personality traits, values, beliefs, habits, etc. They have every right to feel this way; everybody's tastes are different and you won't be everyone's cup of tea. Don't change yourself to appease them. Bottom line is, unless you're mutually willing to overlook your differences- which requires patience and maturity- you're both probably better off befriending people you actually like and respect.

x sunrise