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- May
- The 1899 cast announcement & teaser. This show is gonna be my death, I already know it.
- Discovering new forests. Vegan cake to go (chocolate coconut tarte & kirschstreusel) from my fav café. Stormy days at the lake. Grey waves, rain.
- A huge ass mapie in our garden, sitting on the tip of our fir tree, screaming like crazy.
- Caring for my plants, especially the zucchinis, pak choi and tomatoes. Sowing wildflowers. The flower beds already look so beautiful: lavender, persian buttercups (one of my favourite flowers) in yellow and dark orange, forget me nots, yellow-aubergine coloured tulips, flowers I don't know the name of.
- Collecting dandelions (for honey!) and wood garlic in the forest. Seeing two hares.
- Buying more veggie plants at the garden center because I couldn't resist - Ochsenherz tomatoes, strongboy tomatoes, purple kohlrabi, red lettuce. I probably won't have enough space for all of my veggies and herbs in the garden but oh well. There's still the balcony and living room. Reminds me of my grandma who lives in a tiny apartment and has all her veggie plants standing in the living room. You can barely walk or even stand in there. I got my plant obsession from her, and my photography obsession from my other grandma.
- Finally watching season 2 of His Dark Materials. It was hard to wait for such a long time but I tried to really enjoy and take my time with it - Season 3 is gonna come and the show will be over soon enough. I'm so insanely happy they included one of my favourite quotes/dialogues from The Subtle Knife in the show; "Shadow matter is what we call spirit? - From what we are, spirit; from what we do, matter. Matter and spirit are one." And: the intro! Still not over it. I really need to reread the books again, they're so special to me.
- I truly think I'll forever be sad. It's just part of my personality. I should stop fighting it so much, I like to be sad... sometimes.
- The Chemtrails Over the Country Club bardcore version.
- The photography of Pia Riverola. The poetry of Nina Mingya Powles (Magnolia).
- Winning 75€, then one week later 77€. Finding 2 x 5€ on the street.
- How could Noah's Ark actually work?
- Culture Cave's Dark discussions
- I could spend hours looking at Work and Travel listings. There are so many inspiring people - yogis, Aussteiger, vegans, artists, veggie farmers - looking for help, all over the world. I already picked some from Central/South America, Oceania and South East Asia. There are even some from Hawai'i, the Caribbean and French Polynesia. I think it's something I could do for months, years even - work and stay wherever I want, help around, be creative in my free time, practice my photography skills as much as I can, then leave and explore a new place, stay for a while, leave again, always be in motion. Not for forever but for a while. I'm scared I'll regret not doing it. Visualizing a partner or friend(s) with similar wishes and visions. I don't want to do things alone anymore. I love my solitude and peace, but it's time for something new. I want people around me.
- Talking about 1899 theories with H. As someone who reads and writes a lot I'm usually pretty good with my theories and ideas but we'll see. And I'm gonna start my journal soon. Hopefully the show is going to be as life changing as Dark was (for me).
- Like I thought, there's more than one magpie in the neighborhood. It's a couple. They're "talking" a lot - I don't always see them but I can always hear them bickering in our fir tree.
- Walking along the river at 6 am. Taking pictures of sleeping swans.
- Finding perfect flights from Germany to Iceland, for June and July. Quarantining in an Icelandic airbnb for five days doesn't sound too bad. (H. did it, she spent quarantine in an airbnb in the middle of nature, somewhere in Reykjanes). I'm wondering... I just can't not travel anymore, it worsens my derealisation and anxiety and I can't breathe. I need the escape. I'm just not in the mood to convince people to come with me, especially S., ugh. She always complicates everything, even if we weren't in this situation. Talking to R. about this, how hard it is to find a travel buddy who wants similar things. It's like finding the right lover. I'm tired of always having to look for things and wait for people, I'm tired of complicated! I want simple, I want spontaneous, I want adventure and nature and to sit near a waterfall for an hour and see that stupid volcano!
- Finding my love for Death Cab again, especially Soul Meets Body. Still obsessed with it, and the lyrics!
- My first acupuncture session. It felt more like a massage. I have the biggest crush on my doctor, she is GORGEOUS and omg, bless her hands. In a few weeks I'm gonna be in love with her, I can already tell.
- Spending time at the lake in absolute solitude. I keep thinking about what Melanie told me around ten years ago ("Du vereinsamst doch so.") and it's still so true but what can I do? Everyone is so shallow.
- Hiking day. Rießersee was closed so we went to the Eib- and Badersee, and strolled through Grainau. I know I'm an egoist for saying that but I love how quiet everything is because of Covid. I really want to go to cafés and restaurants again though.
- Mini carrots glazed in soy sauce. Rice with onions and wood garlic tofu.
may 11 2021 ∞
jul 22 2021 +
jul 22 2021 +