"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions." - Albert Einstein. | It's time for a new bucket list. I'm not going to seperate big and small dreams anymore. | This list is going to be endless.

TRAVEL & ADVENTURES

• Travel with Workaway.
• See wild alpacas in South America.
• See Nessie. Or at least Loch Ness.
• Travel for the rest of my life, see the world and turn my experiences into art.
• Travel to the Great Rift Valley/Cradle of Humankind in Kenya, Tanzania and/or Ethiopia. Maybe feel some kind of belonging.
• Stand on top of Earth's highest mountain - Mauna Kea!
• See a Capricornis crispus in the Japanese woodlands.
• Live in Japan for a while and get to know the Japanese and Shinto/Buddhist culture.

first: get rid of/sell some old stuff! i don't want to buy something i don't really need or already have.

• something for my skin 1
• wooden tray
• a cute camping mug 1
• glass teapot 1
• kodak portra 400
• website / blog
• a bento/lunch box 1
• a nice food bowl (wood/bamboo)
• less crap, more zero waste stuff

goals: workout at least four times a week | do longer workouts again | work on my endurance

• 02.07. di — 2:53 h walking (7.3 km, 416 kcal and 37°C!! of course i got a sunburn)
• 03.07. mi — 3:41 h walking (11.7 km, 664 kcal)
• 05.07. fr — 60 min. pilates
• 12.07. fr — 45 min. yoga, 20 min. hiit cardio
• 17.07. mi — 25 min. yoga, 30 min. hiit cardio/strength
• 21.07. so — 40 min. leg strength, 40 min. yoga

April —

• Sitting on the train, gazing outside the window, seeing a rabbit running around on a sunlit meadow.
• Losing weight without even trying. Since I've stopped taking my meds and went vegan I'm losing ALL THE FAT. Even on weeks where I'm just too lazy to work out. And even when I eat tons of vegan chocolate at night.
• Obsessions of April: wasabi peanuts, NBC's Good Girls (I watched the first fourteen episodes within two days because I just couldn't stop watching it. Omg. I'm so freaking addicted to this show atm. The last time I was that obsessed with a show was in 2016 when I watched the first two seasons of How to Get Away With Murder. Remember when I got up at 4am just to watch a new episode? Yeah, I think I might to that again with Good Girls .), peanut butter, Mumford & Sons (I mean, I've been obsessed with them for almost nine years, but now with the concert com...

planning & wishing —

• Austria roadtrip
  • Plansee, Coburger Hütte & Seebensee, Admont
• Switzerland roadtrip (my birthday?)
• 7 Day Trips to Take from Stuttgart
• Jordan (Amman, Wadi Mujib, Wadi Rum, Petra)

NEXT TRAVELS PLEASE! —

• Scotland
  • go hiking & wildcamping; go with the flow and meditate a lot on how long i want to stay in one place. be spontaneous. dare to stay longer in one place if i like it.
  • Glen Coe
  • Glen Etive
  • Buachaille Etive Mòr
  • Ben Nevis

mountains —

• switzerland
  • augstmatthorn
  • monte generoso
  • pilatus, lucerne
  • brienzer rothorn
• bavaria
  • einfach
    • herzogstand (again)
    • hochfelln
    • jenner
    • jochberg
    • wallberg
    • wank
  • mittel
    • archenkanzel
  • schwer

munich

• emmi's kitchen
• wanderlust cafe & yoga
• prinz myshkin
• siggis
• bodhi
• max pett
• iss dich glücklich
• wagners juicery
• kansha
• poké bay
• tushita teehaus
• lost weekend
• blitz
• gratitude
• ignaz
• vegelangelo
• l'amar
• my indigo
• bite delite
• shami

• project life
  • 2017
  • 2018
  • 2019

• Diptych Dials
• Sundials
• Lunulae
  • crescent moon shaped amulets and talismans from ancient Rome
• Astrolabe
  • an instrument used by astronomers and navigators

Becaus I want it to be the best year of my life.

• Move back to Munich or somewhere else (Berlin?).
• Travel to 1+ new continent.
• Travel to 5+ new countries. not gonna be able to do that, no time.
• Be able to reduce my antidepressants again (~80). ✔
• Learn new things.
• Let love and friendship in. ✔
• Gain more muscles, lose more fat. ✔
• Sell/get rid of at least 50 things (books, clothes, etc). (30/50)
• Get in touch with a shaman/something similar.
• Make good art.
• FINALLY open an etsy shop.

because i need to learn to love myself. inspired by bru

• you are open and charismatic. - c
• woah, your skin is so soft. - j & s
• your skin is so soft, it's almost too soft. - f
• you are beautiful. - random dude in the s-bahn
• you are so interesting one wants to know more about you. - s
• your name is lovely. - neve mcintosh *_*
• i think she broke up with him because she's in love with you. - n. (which turned out to be true. not a compliment but it was really good for my ego)
• your boobs look so fake. - mum (lol thank)
• nice hair! looks like autumn! - random dude at the garden center
• lovely hair colour! - random woman on the street
• your body is beautiful. - b.
• you are very beautiful. - random dude in budapest

what i've been doing since I was a child —

• seperating & recycling waste
• being vegetarian (now vegan)
• buying books secondhand (mostly)
• using a tote instead of disgusting plastic bags
• using a wooden hairbrush

personal progress —

• stopped buying make-up remover (plastic!) and started using coconot oil (glass!) instead
• started using coconot oil for EVERYTHING - as body lotion, for my hair, lips and nails
• stopped buying ~ most ~ veggies/fruits in plastic (my goal is to ~ completely ~ stop buying them when they're in packaging)
• started using a bamboo toothbrush
• stopped buying foundation when the packag...

sometimes i don't feel like my mental illness is an illness. sometimes it feels more like a spiritual gift i can't explain. i have another list for this "illness" but on this one i wanna focus on the good or more spiritual side of it. this is more of a brainstorm that's gonna be deleted later on.

currently...

• feeling
  • timeless. maybe that's why i'm not afraid of death AT ALL. if anything, i sometimes can't wait to experience death. (what i'm more afraid of is dying before fulfilling my life purpose.) when my grandma died i didn't really mourn because i felt in my heart that she was okay, that she was still alive, even after her "death".
  • a deep connection to space.
  • alien. as if earth isn't my true home. feeling homesick all the time, even when i'm "home". feeling like an alien, some peo...

brands that test on animals or support animal cruelty

• astor
• avon
• benefit
• bobbi brown
• chanel
• clinique
• dior
• dolce & gabbana
• dove
• durex
• essie
• estee lauder
• garnier
• giorgio armani
• guerlain
• guhl
• head & shoulders
• kiehl's
• l'occitane

Normal travel & fashion influencers and beauty bloggers bore me. I prefer the real artists, story tellers and photographers, the ones who inspire and motivate me to make my own art and get rid of that insecurity and the urge to post mainstream travel photos on instagram. The ones who make me want to write stories. The ones who present themselves and their world in a natural, beautiful, real way. In their own way. Here are some of my favourites:

Photographers & Influencers

• Ellen Tyn / Instagram ; YT
• Jordan Clark / YT
• Emilie Ristevski / Instagram
• Kamila Kansy / Instagram
• Equinoxl / Instagram
• Lily Rose
• Lucy Laucht
• Annapurna Mellor
• Alina Autumn
• Natalia Drepina
• Jonna Jinton / Instagram

(aka languages I wish I could speak)

• hawaiian
• swahili
• isizulu
• afrikaans
• japanese
• gaelic (scottish & irish)
• tibetan
• arabic
• nepali
• hindi
• balinese
• indonesian
• vietnamese
• sanskrit
• bengali
• urdu
• persian/farsi
• welsh
• māori

dozens of doctors/therapists couldn't give me a right diagnosis. or a diagnosis in general. so i guess i have to do it myself. this list is going to be deleted in the future, i just wanted to do some brainstorming on my current mental health status. maybe i can figure out some things. or maybe not. idk. what i know is that i'll never fully get rid of my sickness and that's okay, it is how it is. but i can live and deal with it.

symptoms; mental

• depersonalization/derealization
  • it started when i was a child, back in 2004. i was nine, and i remember it happened on a lovely day in april. it happened so quickly, all of a sudden i felt like i wasn't real anymore. as if i was dreaming. i was with sophia in that moment (we stood under the trees, right in front of th..._thing_ again, as if i wasn't real anymore. it s..._probably._ i'm 24 now and i still have it and nobod..._there._

January —

• zola jesus ; hikikomori
• helene fischer ; sonne auf der haut
• tim myers ; lover my love
• helene fischer ; viva la vida

February —

• ratatat ; wildcat
• editors ; no sound but the wind
• mark ronson ; nothing breakes like a heart (feat. miley cyrus)
• benny blanco ; eastside (feat. halsey & khalid)
• lady gaga & bradley cooper ; shallow
• ryan gosling ; city of stars

March —

• soap&skin ; deathmental
• sleeping at last ; arctic
• the decemberists ; here i dreamt i was an architect
• basil hogios ; apricot

April —

rewatches , favs

Movies —

• 02.19 ▸ A Star is Born (2018) (4)
• 02.19 ▸ La La Land (2016) (3)
• 03.19 ▸ The Lobster (2015) (1.5)
• 03.19 ▸ The Page Turner (2006) (3)
• 05.19 ▸ Paddington (2014) (4)
• 05.19 ▸ Mary Poppins Returns (2018) (2)
• 05.19 ▸ Princess Mononoke (1997) (4.5)
• 05.19 ▸ Finding Dory (2016) (2.5)
• 06.19 ▸ Howl's Moving Castle (2004) (3.5)
• 06.19 ▸ Louise by the Shore (2016) (4)
• 07.19 ▸ Professor Marston & The Wonder Women (2017) (4)

Television —

• 01.19 ▸ A Series of Unfortunate Events — S3 (2019) (3)
• 01.19 ▸ Vikings — S3 (2015) (3)
• 02.19 ▸ How to Get Away with Murder — S5 (2019) (2)

this list actually scares me. i never manage to really do stuff from these kind of lists because i'm anxious and lonely. lots of times i really want to do something and end up not doing anything because i don't want to do it alone, and i don't know anyone; almost all my friends live far away. it shouldn't be that hard - i could do stuff alone, i'm used to being alone, but sometimes it feels as if i just can't do some things alone, even small things. so. we'll see.

to do

• go hiking
  • maybe in switzerland!?
• spend time in the woods
• go cycling more often
• spend more time actually making art (drawing/painting/writing)
• practice photography, especially self portraits ✔
• try out skillshare

• midnight in the garden of good and evil by emmacareymc
• star wars; knights of ren by thereebeccabee
• beyond by ghostclub
• east of eden by ghostclub
• the law of radiation and attraction by mariasophia39
• the undone and the divine by ghostclub
• the devil all the time by rhiannon2179
• life in a méliès film by lepetitviolet
• evidence of creation by anthonytumminar
• 4% or less by alan66
• woodland°cottage by princessashtray
• bacchic by raindancemelly
• persephone's garden of delights by are0837
• aspirations by dgallo626
• manifesting affirmations by sandhopper3