The exploits are my own, but credit for this list goes to jen

I have:

• Been sick
  • in a bar bathroom
  • in a restaurant
    • unfortunately NOT in the bathroom
  • at the county fair
  • in a kitchen sink
  • out the window of a moving vehicle
• Been in fights
  • with friends
    • who are no longer friends
    • who are still friends
      • despite broken noses
  • with a mohawked stranger
  • with the DJ at the video bar
  • with inanimate objects
• Jumped
  • from a third story balcony
    • to escape someone who may have been chasing me
  • into Lake Pontchartrain
  • out of a moving vehicle
  • into bed
• Ruined
  • shoes
    • white Chuck Taylors
    • favorite combat boots
    • red suede heels
  • reputations
    • my own
    • other people's
  • friendships
  • a wedding
• Broken
  • promises
  • cell phones
    • TWICE
  • furniture
    • office chair
    • hide-a-bed
  • bones
    • fingers
    • toes
    • noses
      • not mine
  • my glasses
  • fine stemware
  • a one-of-a-kind French statue
• Won
  • fist fights
  • bets
  • mud wrestling
  • Naked Girls Reading competition
• Passed out
  • at a bar
  • at Starbucks
    • spent my last $3 on an iced coffee so I could pass out in their bathroom
  • at the train station
• Kissed
  • girls
  • boys
  • my ex
  • strangers
  • bartenders
  • cross-dressers
  • sex workers
  • pirates
  • people twice my age
  • the singer in the band
• Stripped
  • in a taxi
  • in a photobooth
    • TWICE
  • at a St. Patrick's Day party
  • like a Sweet Transvestite
• Pretended to be sober
  • to myself
  • to my parents
  • to friends more drunk than myself
  • to my boss
  • to Vice President Biden
  • to Kevin Spacey
• Peed in places I shouldn't have
  • behind a dumpster at the gay bar
  • in the men's room
  • between two cars in a crowded parking lot
• Skinny-dipped
  • in Loomis Lake
    • while I was on duty as a lifeguard
  • in Lake Michigan
  • in Lake Geneva
  • in the Andaman Sea
• Been frisked by
  • The Secret Service
  • Chicago police
  • Department of Homeland Security
    • They were totally overreacting
  • Navy Pier Security
• Rescued
  • friends from boredom
  • a turtle from a pack of feral cats
  • a stripper from a knife-wielding mugger
• Broken into
  • my ex's house, while he was out of town
  • the Grand Ballroom at Navy Pier
  • a stranger's apartment
    • because my date couldn't remember where she lived
• Took a shower with all my clothes on
  • then wore those same wet clothes to work 5 hours later
• Pushed a bouncer down a flight of stairs
• Went to class wearing nothing but leggings and a jacket
• Shaved my legs in the bathroom at a bar
• Helped local prostitutes write resumes and cover letters
• Threatened my ex with a hammer outside a bar
• Fell down on the dance floor at a wedding reception
• Sliced open my hand while trying to demonstrate that my knife was "not that sharp."