• Inspired by Lawliette's list
• Date start: May 5th, 2016
• Everyday progress: x
• Written in 2016: x

May

• 5 | I'm kinda tired. I want to write, but can't manage to make myself do it. I feel I'm being way too self-indulgent and that I don't try as hard as I should. Maybe I don't try at all. I'm not determined or hard-working. I'm just lazy. | Also, my ideas seem all shitty and I'm starting to be insecure about my writing style. I don't think I have a decent plot - I know I should develop it better. I should plot more, think more. But I don't seem to have enough creativity. | "The necessity of producing divests the passion of creating." I agree with that... but I'm still too unsatisfied with my own pace. I have to increase it somehow, or I will never get anywhere.
• 6 | Didn't write today, either... Who do I want to fool? I can't achieve my goal. Not like this. I was planning on plotting a bit, but yeah, didn't do that, too. | I wish writing was as natural as it used to be, and easier.
• 7 | DIDNT WRITE AGAIN, NEITHER DID I PLOT. Sing with me: Han's a loser and he's getting nowhere~~ | Decreased my goal from 15k to 12k words
• 8 | I managed to plot a bit today. I'm happy - I'm finally organizing my ideas and putting them into paper (disregarding the 5 sheets of draft). Started defining the history's outline better. Now I have to finish the history's timeline (the main aspects) and develop better my worldbuilding.
• 9 | I PLOTTED TODAY I'M HAPPY
• 10 | Started writing Truce's prologue, even though I am not sure if it's for real | Discovered this site. Maybe it'll be helpful.
• 11 | Wrote more of Truce's prologue. I'm afraid it'll be too big for a prologue but can't help it | Also, first time using 750words site~
• 12 | Started writing an utterly aleatory, unconnected scene. More like a warm-up, but it's still writing anyway.
• 13 | Finished that unconnected scene. I kind of liked it. Dunno whether it'll be a bigger thing in the history or nah, but I'm getting ideas from it | 750words is really getting me motivated!
• 14 | Kinda disappointed with myself cause I was really believing I could make 5 days in 750words in a row, but I didn't write today | I feel kinda lost. I have no idea what to write anymore c':
• 15 | I tried. But failed.
• 16 | Told myself I was going to write today but didn't. At least I am not trapped in the middle of the chapter anymore, 'cause now I know how to write the next scene.
• 17 | FINALLY FINISHED DESCRIBING THAT FIGHT SCENE I WAS STUCK INTO FOR WEEKS FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAA
• 18 | Wanted to write but had to study *cries in spanish*
• 19-20 | Nah.
• 21 | Wrote at the club <3
• 22 | Meh. Didn't write. I feel all my ideas are shitty again... I wish I'd stop comparing myself to others tbh.
• 23 | Ugh. Tried to continue Truce's prologue, but got distracted and didn't make any progress at all.
• 24 | I'm planning on writing today, but... Being completely sincere with myself, even though I know I should stop being this pessimistic, the idea of giving up just won't fade away. It persists since the very beginning of my "writing path", in 2014. Maybe that means this just isn't my thing. My only hope is that I'll get better along the years, but trying and failing over and over again is painful, too. I don't know if I can do this. Perhaps I should focus on drawing. It doesn't do so much harm as writing. I wish I didn't have to worry about it. I know I would miss writing, I would miss the sensation of words flowing from my soul and creating new things day by day, inventing worlds, people and feelings in a way that doesn't seem fictional at all and all of that. But sometimes... sometimes letting go is just better than holding on, even if it hurts. | Ok. Done with the emo mode. I wrote a poetry today. Kind of liked it a bit. Just a bit.
• 25 | Wrote an utterly random scene. Again. But now, it's from none of my histories. I just wrote it. And used random original characters. And more: I wrote it in english. I usually just write in portuguese. What is going on. | I ACHIEVED MY 12K MONTH GOAL!!! NOW IM GOING TO INCREASE IT TO 15K AGAIN AND BEAT IT TOO, HELL YEA BICTHES
• 26 | Plotted Atemporal. I hadn't made any progress with this novel in a while, I'm kinda glad I still manage to go further into it from time to time
• 27 | Didn't write, sorry world
• 28 | OK SO I HAD THIS NEW HISTORY IDEA. AND IVE STARTED TO DEVELOP IT. AND ITS TURNING INTO SOMETHING BIG. AND IM SO FUCKED UP BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO WRITE. SEND HELP. | Also, I ACHIEVED MY 15K GOAL! I WASN'T REALLY BELIEVING I WAS ABLE TO DO IT AAAA
• 29 | Since I already beat my goal, I'm just chilling right now.
• 30 | Still chilling but feeling guilty about it.
• 31 | I'm going to write tomorrow, I swear.

June

• 1 | In order not to be in the Wall of Shame instead of the Wall of Awesomeness in the end of the month, I need to write 750 words every day, since I subscribed to this month 750 words challenge | Started writing a "resume" of the plot of Truce
• 2 | Another poetry | Failed already in the second day. No Wall of Awesomeness for me. Say hello to Wall of Shame, Han.
• 3 | Not even a single word, nope.
• 4 | Why whenever I try to write for Truce everything ends up being the shittiest of things?
• 5 | New history idea... idk if I'll ever write it but I'm just getting it registered in case I forget.
• 6 | Tried and failed.
• 7 | FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING FOR MAYBE SOMEDAY CHAPTER 15 YEAAAA And I'll keep writing for it until I'm finished, fuck anything else and focus on Maybe Someday.
• 8 | Infinitesimal parody of a poetry for school.
• 9 | Another poetry... who am I and what have I done to myself.
• 10 | I'm focusing on drawing rn, so nothing written.
• 11-12 | I should be writing a task and a poetry for school and continuing Maybe Someday's chapter, but nothing.
• 13 | School task.
• 14 | Nothing, I am ashamed to say.
• 15 | Poetry for school. | Another poetry??? what is hapenning?????
• 16-17-18-19 | I know I should write, and I want to write, but I don't seem to arrange time because I'm always doung other things... And procrastinating, of course. I'm really frustrated about it.
• 20 | Finally wrote something! Not much whatsoever, but it's still better than nothing.
• 21 | The month is already ending and I'm not even close to reaching my goal... Seriously huge shame on me. | Tentative progress on Maybe Someday's chapter 15.
• 22 | Another scene for MS. The chapter is already with 5k words and I'm not even close to its end. Fuck.
• 23 | Random text because I was down and had to unburden my depressing thoughts somewhere.
• 24 | Other utterly random text and a new history idea.
• 25 | Poetry for school | Disconnected scene for Maybe Someday's chapter 16 | 5 DAYS STREAK!
• 26 | A poetry AND the beginning of another poetry | Lil text.
• 27 | Not today.
• 28 | Random text in english.
• 29-30 | Maybe Someday's chapter.

July

• 1 | CAMPNANOWRIMO IS HERE. | Wrote for Maybe Someday. Idk what to do with this chapter... I have 7k words in it, and I think I should end it already and leave the other scenes for next chapters, I guess. Anyway, I'm determined to finish it this weekend.
• 2 | Fuck Maybe Someday's chapter | New fic idea | Poetry.
• 3 | Couldn't write a word, too sick for that. | I want to give up on CampNano...
• 4 | FINISHED MAYBE SOMEDAY'S CHAPTER, BITCHES!
• 5-6 | meh.
• 7 | Disconnected scene.
• 8-9 | meh.
• 10 | Stayed up all night reviewing chapter 15 with Lari | Posted it in Nyah and SS.
• 11-14 | Look, I'm trying.
• 15 | I had decreased my month goal on campnano from 25k to 22k, and now it's 20,5k... I'm a shame, ugh.
• 16-21 | I have given up on camp anyway, so fuck it.
• 22 | Wrote, like, one paragraph.
• 23 | Organized Atemporal a bit in this amazing site
• 24-27 | Tried to write a little bit when I was willing to (like, almost never)
• 28 | Started a text.
• 29 | A really shitty poetry.
• 30 | Finished that text and risked a beginning of another poetry.
• 31 | Review for ODGAE's chapter | And the month is over. So is my vacation. Kinda disappointed with my writing results in July, but life goes on, doesn't it? Who cares anyway. I hope I'll do better in August though.

August

• 1 | Vowed I was going to write today. Didn't.
• 2 | Wrote a bit of MS and some random phrases. Yay!
• 3 | Too frustrated to write any shit.
• 4 | Really wanted to write, but didn't have the time.
• 5 | Nope.
• 6 | Lots of poetry. Photography inspires me. Sadness, too. | Also I've never written something so romantic and cheesy before wtf????
• 7 | Wrote at my grandma's.
• 8-9 | Nope.
• 10 | MS chapter.
• 11 | meh.
• 12 | 3 handwriting pages at school.
• 13| bah
• 14 | Wrote at my grandma's.
• 15-16 | blaaaah
• 17 | Wrote a tiny bit
• 18 | I have written litte to nothing this month, and am very disappointed with myself. I try not to mind, but really... I'm low.
• 19 | Some handwriting pages at school again | Was going to write, but I had taken medicine and was sleepy as fuck, so didn't.
• 20 | I'm terrible | At 3-4am. Finished that sonnet. Wrote some thoughts down.
• 21 | N o t h i n g
• 22 | Finally started plotting Zine's project fanfic
• 23 | Wrote that text.
• 24 | Completed Ângelo's character card in hiveword and started Camilo's
• 25 | Lari helped me with plotting Zine's fanfic.
• 26 | I just need to get this feelings out of my chest somehow.
• 27 | Plotted Zine's Project! I'll start writing it tomorrow if god allows me | Also, wrote some things about her and replied a reader's comment
• 28 | Bah fuck it
• 29 | Started Zine's fic. Yay
• 30 | sorry dude
• 31 | nope

September

• 1 | I don't know what goal to put this month. 15k-12k, maybe? Hopefully I'll write more than I did in July or August this time | Wrote for Zine's fic
• 2 | Nothing
• 3 | Finished that scene.
• 4 | Zine's fic~ I'm happy; I feel like I know what I'm doing. Also, have been with new ideas for it and am looking forward to write more of it! Ok that my deadline is day 6 (fuck.) but Lari will save my ass.
• 5 | The deadline is tomorrow but I'm not done yet lol
• 6 | meh. Still have time tho
• 7-8 | tried
• 9 | OK WROTE A LOT TODAY ALMOST FINISHING IT
• 10 | Just a bit so I can finish it, but still couldn't write much. I'm disappointed. Hopefully I can do better tomorrow.
• 11 | I DID IT YES I FINISHED IT YES UHU IM AWESOME jk im not i bet its lame BUT STILL
• 12-13 | Now that I'm done with that, I don't feel like writing much this month. Probably not going to achieve my goal. well i couldnt care less
• 14-23 | The only thing I've written this week are my school tasks. I still haven't revised Zine' fic. Desmotivated af.
• 24 | Revised Zine's fic. Meh. A part of it is good, the other sucks.
• 25 | You know, I have written literally nothing besides school tasks these days. Today I managed to write a poetry; a really lame one. I have no inspiration nor ideas nor motivation to write anything. Low on creativity. On hope to do something good. I haven't read much these days too, which affects directly my will to write. Sighs. Fuck it.
• 26 | Wrote some thoughts down | Finally made a sinopsis for Zine's fic! Now I need a title, and fast.
• 27 | School work introduction
• 28 | FINALLY POSTED ZINE'S FIC ON NYAH! Its title, translated from portuguese, is "Devoted". I'll add a cover in this weekend.
• 29 | A lame and non-sense text I should delete but won't.
• 30 | Last day of the month. Didn't reach my goal. Oh well

October

• 1-2 | noope
• 3 | Counting with the stuff I write on lists like this. I suppose it's cheating. But it's writing anyway.
• 4 | I think I won't reach my goal (which isn't much) this month either.
• 5 | Melancholia plus dysphoria plus cloudy day equal some rambling text and a meaning(ful)/(less) [you choose] poetry.
• 6-7 | Sincerely? I feel really uncapable of writing these days.
• 8-13 | I'm trying. But I'm disheartened as fuck. I need to write Maybe Someday's chapter, but I think it's shitty. I'm comparing myself to other people as always and realizing how their ideas are much better than mine and... Ugh. I'm disappointed with myself
• 13 | Plotted atemporal, or tried to. At least got some new ideas.
• 14-15 | Promised myself I'd write but didn't.
• 16 | Finally wrote a bit for Maybe Someday.
• 17 | I wish I would just sit down and write ffs
• 18 | New history idea! About surfists. But a really tragic one. Plotted it a bit in the afternoon but I don't know if things are sorting out like I want them to. I hope I won't get disheartened at it.
• 19 | I have written basically nothing this month. Forget my goal.
• 20 | Plotting + autobio. I always count with what I write there. It's not cheating, is it?
• 21-26 | basically nothing, just autobio stuff.
• 27 | Developing that idea from last year.
• 29-29 | Tried to write, failed.
• 30 | Answered a reader's comment.
• 31 | NANOWRIMO IS HERE HOLY SHIIIIT

November

• 1 | I'm so upset at myself for I didn't write today. I was so excited thinking I would maybe be able to do it this year... unlikely.
• 2 | Overcompensated for yesterday and wrote 2k words! YAY! Also, kind of started a new daisuga oneshot. Ok, it's pwp, shame on me. But it's actually nice to practice this kind of stuff, since I never was able to finish writing it whenever I started. Let's see if I can do it this time.
• 3 | Acheieved 1,3k words! I was going to write more after coming home, but kept procrastinating and didn't. I guess it's okay, though, since my true goal for november is 30k, not the official 50k in nanowrimo.
• 4 | Didn't achieve my daily goal... but I'll make up for it tomorrow.
• 5 | AND I DID FUCK YEAH I'M ON FIRE
• 6 | Wrote 1k in my grandma's. Almost done with MS chapter.
• 7-8 | Somehow managed to achieve my daily goal.
• 9 | Answered a review, wrote Maybe Someday (almost finishing the chapter, aa) and plotted Maresia.
• 10 | Autobio updates + part of chapter 16 of MS.
• 11 | More things in chapter 16 | 10 days streak in 750 words! I'm proud.
• 12 | GUESS WHO FUCKING FINISHED WRITING CHAPTER 16 OF MAYBE SOMEDAY.
• 13 | Ouch, didn't write today. I lost my daily streak in 750 words ): no 30 days badge for me
• 14 | Overcompensated for yesterday. Almost 2k.
• 15 | Nothing...
• 16 | Somehow reached my daily goal. Autobio things + trying to plot Maybe Someday's chapter 17.
• 17| Nope.
• 18 | Managed to reach my goal again! Was 2,3k late and overcompensated for it. Wrote a text about us + tried to plot Estilhaços and that fic for AS.
• 19 | Nothing...
• 20 | Useless texts, pointless feelings.
• 21 | I feel like giving up again, like always. That's what I do best, isn't it? Why is my effort never enough? | Like, I have no idea of what to write now. I don't know how to plot ATMP or Maresia. I don't know what to do with chapter 17 of MS. I want to continue with Truce but my ideas for it are not fresh in my mind anymore. what do i do | Decreased month goal from 30k to 25k. oh well
• 22 | Answered TONS of reviews, totalized 1k.
• 23 | Tried to plot that kiyoyachi fanfic for AS. I'm relying too much on writing prompts because my creativity currently sucks. Ugh. This history is really meh.
• 24 | AAAAAA I NEED TO WRITE BUT HOW??? THIS IS MAKING ME STRESSED I hate myself bye | Ok somehow plotted a really tiny bit of Maresia. A's backstory, kinda.
• 25 | Texts, texts, texts. Texts about how I feel - and for fuck sake, I have felt a lot recently. I think I might be overflowing. That's fucking dangerous for someone like me.
• 26-27 | Basically nothing tbh.
• 28 | Autobio things. Almost reaching goal.
• 29 | Blank space
• 30 | Created a new history idea. It's really crazy | Reached goal of 25k words! Nanowrimo is finally over.

December

• 1-7 | Tbh I have written NOTHING this month. I'm in vacation and stopped giving a fuck about it. Maybe I deserve a rest from november, but... I feel guilty. I should try to write chapter 17 of Maybe Someday. I should post chapter 16 at once. But I feel inspirationless, without motivation. I don't know what to do.
• 8 | Autobio things, poetry.
• 9 | blank space
• 10 | More autobio things + Finished plotting the fanfic for our AS. Now it's time to start writing it.
• 11-12 | nope
• 13 | Lari finished proofreading chapter 16 of MS and I finally posted it! I feel proud and happy. Now it's time to start writing chapter 17, too (aaaaaa)
• 14-27 | Some texts here and there. This month has been totally unproductive when it comes to writing. FFS. I won't take it easy in January. Will overcompensate for this. Also, I am feeling disheartned - didn't receive any comments in my new posted chapter. And I thought it was one of the best. Flopping hurts. I feel unimportant, but I care too much about my history and my characters to quit it.
• 28 | Made a 1k text for her birthday. She loved it. <3
• 29 | nope
• 30 | Autobio stuff.
• 31 | I can't believe the year has already ended. I achieved my year goal - actually, I TOTALLY SURPASSED IT. Got almost 130000 WORDS!!! I'M SO HAPPY! Hoping that next year will be as productive as this one! <3