october

• rad bday tripping on 🍄 while hiking w j.r. in ventana canyon + sprawling like lizards on a giant rock + talking abt psychedelics / folklore / philosophy / environmentalism + eating amazing vegetarian mexican food after
• finally got my back balance in silks
• wore my great pacific garbage patch costume to work n got compliments on it

november

• back in the bullshit for 4 more years. fuck
• found out my dad went to prison for being a sex offender. upsetting
• commuted to work by bike for a week
• ua fall dance show <3
• me: "oo a dead moth, i'm gonna put it on b.j.'s desk" a.m.: "i was about to say to say 'i love u' but then i was like no that's too much" me: "nah u can say it"
• 2nd nyc trip, this time for sleep no more, luna luna, the whitney museum, & the high line, plus the beautiful serendipity of wandering thru chelsea's myriad art galleries
• decided to stop or at least strictly limit eating eggs bc chick culling is too fucked up for me
• deleted instagram off my phone bc i was running out of storage n hey i'm now reading a lot more

december

• 1st poetry acceptance in a long time! it was v enthusiastic & nice
• unexpectedly having a blast at j.g.'s going away party, chatting all evening w dance folks in proximity to citrus trees & feeling nostalgic for the grad school rager days
• lmdc winter show! performing my 1st ever dance solo & getting lots of kind feedback <3
• biking ~11 miles on a workday + taking class at a new dance studio + buying the longest bananas i've ever seen
• holiday party at work & setting a personal record for most pizza slices eaten in 1 day (7)
• radiologist + xmas shopping for luchi + remarkable movement exercises at butoh rehearsal + 4th ave street fair + really good chow mein
• breathtaking solstice dance show + artisanal slushies + wandering downtown w j.r. + passing a street exorcism + exchanging an obscure vine reference w a stranger walking by
• winterhaven light festival
• xmas eve at my mom's bougie new house, trying to be happy for her even tho we want drastically different things from life
• farewell ritual for the old house
• trying 2 new dance classes, then handing out care packages to the homeless folks on the way back
• sharing a blunt w j.r. + eating taco bell for the 1st time + watching cats (2019)
• inadvertently falling asleep before 10pm on nye but not feeling fomo

january

• amazing food at s.m.'s potluck + long car convo w c.p. afterward
• busy weekend w butoh rehearsals & the start of my circus intensive!
• 1st time tripping on indica & having the most intense psychedelic exp of my life thus far :o (surreal cartoon snippets, every neuron orgasming, frozen body, rem backdoor, goddess of creativity)
• officially the owner of a bougie recliner i bought from work haha
• performing in a group butoh piece at the fringe festival <3
• receiving a $200+ stipend for the performance, which was incredible esp since it was my 1st time being paid to dance ... but i also gotta remember it's not about the money
• getting a great compliment on silks day at intensive, which was "your foot was like a hand" lmao
• seeing aaron foster's "mostly jokes" standup show at fringe. banger
• transitioned luchi to pine pellet litter
• found out i qualify as hypermobile
• favorite window cat moved away :(
• work friend quit :(
• luchi's 11th bday
• can kinda juggle 3 scarves now ... but not balls yet

february

• found out a lot of piping hot work tea, incl that someone doesn't like me bc i use they/them >:(
• 1 year anniversary of my dad's death, going on a long bike ride & scattering more of his ashes
• finding joy & growth in doing partner / group acro
• working on choreo for my dance & silks solos
• took an aerial rope lesson which was v humbling ... cherry on top was falling off in midair n getting a gnarly rope burn