— January

• 1 ‣ it feels like 2016 is not even real, where are the years going? its all happening so fast.
• 2 ‣ when dad's not drunk its so confusing, do i love him or not?
• 3 ‣ oh my god i really want the puppy please, i just don't think we have enough money to support another living being in this house.
• 4 ‣ i knew we were not going to get a puppy but i still got my hopes up.
• 5 ‣ for fucks sake dad l'm so tired of your shit.
• 6 ‣ why is dad always like this?
• 7 ‣ i don't want to live with dad anymore, i want to be far away from him.
• 8 ‣ i can't believe i let myself get this fat.
• 9 ‣ not eating is so nice.
• 10 ‣ my life is so boring, uneventful and boring.
• 11 ‣ i don't want to eat but there i go and bake cookies. nice!
• 12 ‣ its so boring, there's not much to do at all, i wish my life was more interesting.
• 13 ‣ oh my god how did i now know how to make tag pages before on tumblr?!?
• 14 ‣ dad not being in a bad mood/drunk after so long its like a breath of fresh air.
• 15 ‣ im sort of excited for tomorrow, i hope its worth getting excited for.
• 16 ‣ i had a nice time than i thought.
• 17 ‣ i really don't want to live with dad anymore.
• 18 ‣ being stuck in one place makes me inpatient, i really want to travel and see the world.
• 19 ‣ give me books and l'll be the happiest girl.
• 20 ‣ i feel kinda happy right now and it feels weird.
• 21 ‣ another boring day.
• 22 ‣ i don't know.
• 23 ‣ netflix is the total of a good day.
• 24 ‣ i really want to be skinny, i want to be really skinny.
• 25 ‣ that feeling when i finish a book.
• 26 ‣ my fucking fat stomach disgust me so much.
• 27 ‣ as much as i love my brothers i don't want them sleeping in my room.
• 28 ‣ its so amazing how someone is such a good friends with you and then they just cut you off from their lives as quickly as they came, they quickly disappear.
• 29 ‣ feeling so sad, need distractions.
• 30 ‣ dad's an asshole, fuck him.
• 31 ‣ i have no idea.

— February

• 1 ‣ all these printables and D.I.Y. ideas drive me crazy!
• 2 ‣ how did i ever live without smartflix?
• 3 ‣ i shouldn't eat cake, but its cake!
• 4 ‣ the distance between us is too great.
• 5 ‣ i really need to stop being lazy and start doing what i need to do.
• 6 ‣ these is another of those times where i wish i could punch my dad in the face.
• 7 ‣ i feel so overwhelmed by all the books i haven't read yet and by the ones i need to read.
• 8 ‣ food is disgusting me again.
• 9 ‣ i'm so fucking ugly, oh my god.
• 10 ‣ still super ugly.
• 11 ‣ ugh no.
• 12 ‣ oh thank god wasn't drunk.
• 13 ‣ another relief when dad isn't drunk.
• 14 ‣ S. is the best thing that has happened to me in a long while.
• 15 ‣ i have to be thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin...
• 16 ‣ its probably nothing but i feel grown up anyways.
• 17 ‣ holy shit i forgot how happy supernatural makes me feel.
• 18 ‣ after so long without earphones i forgot the feeling of being completely immersed in the music.
• 19 ‣ god damn i hate being sick.
• 20 ‣ i should maybe take naps more often.
• __21 __ laughing for so long feels so good.
• 22 ‣ i love it when im hungry.
• 23 ‣ i cant wait for when i get better.
• 24 ‣ why does pa go out to drink? it makes me so nervous waiting for him to get home.
• 25 ‣ thinking i should be a singer, would be wonderful if i was.
• 26 ‣ wonder how much weight i can lose by sunday.
• 27 ‣ its so frustrating us having to leave when he's drunk when it should be him instead.
• 28 ‣ god damn my period, i hate it! why couldn't i be a boy instead?
• 29 ‣ don't eat, don't eat. gotta get super skinny in a month.

— March

• 1 ‣ i think i did good eating less today.
• 2 ‣ gotta be skinny, skinny, skinny, don't be fat, fat, fat.
• 3 ‣ i just want to be fucking hungry and not eat.
• 4 ‣ i wonder how i'm gonna survive this weekend without my laptop.
• 5 ‣