- walking down to the beach to watch the fireworks ten minutes before midnight
- accidentally putting half a bottle of oyster sauce in stir-fry
- how good that sweet bread tasted at maria's, eating alone in the living room while she put zé to sleep, nice incidental sounds of the night
- spending a long time with charts and journals
- finally rewatching edifício master, after all these years
- feeling in a movie groove again
- com armas sonolentas, seeing secret messages everywhere
- secret message in an e-mail from 2016, 'desculpe o transtorno mas não falo a língua geral'
- fake "vienna coffee" on a tuesday morning like this
- fuzzy lying next to me while i read my tarot cards
- first swim in the sea in months, the simplicity and bliss always there, the familiar peace afterwards
- suedehead out of nowhere, at the beach
- and the same triangle i photographed in berlin, in an article about video stores in porto alegre while doing research for my dissertation
- wednesday date night, burgers and beers
- swimming again on thursday morning, trying to get a summer feeling going, the sure contentedness that follows, despite everything
- getting my mind blown by shirkers when the evening promised only sulking and an aimless netflix binge
- a new episode of the good place
- blood moon, poisoned water, punctuates my days, feeds my wistfulness which is my escape
- there's no bottled water anywhere, jack got a 500ml bottle for R$4
- brigadeiro exploded in the microwave and tasted like chocolate mousse
- watching the houses in são cristóvão roll by on the bus back from mast, i'll miss these moments specifically
- eating chicken out in the drizzle after a heatwave
- reading rosseau on a rainy saturday, feeling challenged and inspired in just the atemporally idyllic way i've been yearning for
- really good quiche and salad meal at jac's café, near the end-of-the-world street. it's been a while since we've discovered a good new place like this
- saturday night sunset walk to leme
- gin & tonics at fernando's
- long late-night walk to voluntários, stopping for a disgustingly salty kfc
- beers with mary post-ayahuasca and about to take a plane back to berlin, talked mainly about reality shows
- coming home tired from mast, ordering a burrito, watching a movie
- meeting up with jack at the burger kiosk after a long day
- zé seemed to like the dinosaur hand i got him for his birthday
- going to the board games bar with vitória and her friends
- the video of the service dog calming down the lady having a panic attack
- some nice light coming into the living room everyday at around noon
- lying in bed in the dark, watching the thunderstorm
- having breakfast by the rock then going for a 'supermarket walk', dragging the funny basket-trolley with only coalhada and garfield chocolate in it
- eating tricolor pasta with garlic and butter and watching sopranos while it rains and thunders outside
- making it to pagham! i've been so anxious about this moment and i'm finally here
- settling in the first day, feeling really cold for the first time in two years, long nap in the afternoon, spaghetti bolognese and university challenge in the evening, jack saying 'i feel like i'm coming back to a very specific part of my brain'
- such silence my ears were ringing all night
- buying a jumper my favourite colour for a pound
- even reading hello magazine waiting for jack at the dentist's office
- the street of rail carriages, around the churchyard and back home, getting reacquainted to the annoying cold sting on my ears, all the colours of the much more angular sun
- walk up to the windmill, but especially the interesting déjà vu standing on the doorstep in the dark, the feeling of thinking about magic when living here versus how i think about it now, living in rio
- the whole day in chichester, writing in the tesco cafe, looking around kim's bookshop, perfect weather for that kind of rambling-ness where you can go to a museum then have lunch at the other side of town then walk all the way back there just to pick up a postcard
- sitting at the park tavern working out our london itinerary
- boozy all-day lunch at nigel and madori's
- the pizza saul ordered
- the tom hanks freebie at the entrance to madam tussaud's - best-kept secret in london
- getting mildly lost in london and seeing lena dunham as a result of it!
- iain nairn's description of those crazy, spanish (?) steps
- and what he says of 'one of the best views of london': 'pure fantasy'
- sneaking out to chicken cottage
- dancing to sports men!
- hugo yelling from across the room 'this is the best song of all time!'
- so much weird stuff that happened at clover's dinner party
- not settling for the avocado brunch place, persevering and finding a really great place for a coffee and a full english
- the beagle getting all wet in west hampstead
- sitting at the bfi mediathèque watching archive films
- then walking to the seven stars and settling in with a mezze and a cider, even though such simple pleasures so often cost a kidney in london
- everyone singing along to chumbawamba, the kind of surreal just-rightness that's really the main reason i smoke weed
- stolen moments reading joan didion in the mornings
- operation ouch is amazing
- watching videos of jack and camilla as kids! the very special and unique feeling of seeing a loved one as a child. loving that child on video in such a strange and adorable way, a person you never met and at the same time the same person you know most intimately
- david's story about the oxbridge-bound pupil - "what do you mean by boundaries?", "i just didn't understand the question", "exactly! you didn't understand the question"
- stratford was a lot of dissociation but rich and meaningful in its own way, i'll be thinking about it for a while
- the pigeon curled up on top of the door frame at shakespeare's school
- falling asleep in the car, my brain a soup of free association, waking up at the mcdonald's in bognor
- staying in and reading the captain is out to lunch on my last day in the uk
- the guy next to us on the flight watching clifford the big red dog, laughing his ass off at everything, and his pantomime trying to call a flight attendant
- jack getting the plane's high score on the trivia game and celebrating with a norwegian beer
- coming home and seeing the cats
- morning coffee at the pigeon problem place on carnival monday
- watching the samba school results and getting drunk at pierot
- cheering at edifício master, drunk
- binge-watching love is blind in two days, mostly drunk, pausing all the time to theorise and point out random details
- drinking a beer before i brush my teeth like i'm bukowski
- fritz asleep hugging jack's arm
- cannoli at the italian place by the tunnel
- bed party ranking presidents & first ladies by hotness
- the sopranos coma episodes
- jack waking up at 4.30pm, purple sky, walking to galeto sats and back
- dark hour saturday night
- going to check on mel while my grandmother is in brasília, gentle sun and throwing around rubber balls in the backyard
- zulu was found and returned home after going missing for three days
- jack drew a heart on my lev manovich book
- every conversation with dani always goes on for hours. pretty night outside the library
- i get sad when i'm hungry, and this week has been tiring, but jack made me toast and popcorn and we watched sopranos
- all classes cancelled for the next two weeks
- night out in catete, it's a poignant neighbourhood, i love it
- i bought a cruffin from a very hipster place, it was insane
- water cut in the whole building and having to go to a cafe amidst social distancing, everyone sitting many tables apart
- my grandmother's text: "if a writer thought this up, people would say it's not realistic!" texting back: "there's like a whole pandemic genre" her: "but not as crazy as this!" i don't know about that
- we finally changed the fans
- watching the last episode of the sopranos on a grey saturday like this
- getting frustrated with kittler and having a long, spitfire conversation on belief systems and how people get bukowski wrong, then going back to kittler. i hope there is a process to all of this, because it is consuming me
- live ballet hiit class on youtube
- really fun backgammon. love the new position of the bed, good light all day
- writing notes on roam, good quarantine groove
- reading purity, sunbathing by the window
- building a 3d puzzle of big ben, eating cheetos and listening to bob dylan facts
- makz' all about html course, good saturday
- this weird fear i feel when i find something very interesting to me
- playing mackerelmedia fish
- singing hank williams with jack, like a prayer
- wasting away watching mulheres ricas, not sure what day of the week it is
- the sims bustin' out every friday night
- fritz running horizontal on the bed
- french toast
- writing my notes on roam. long-term progress. the idea is crystalline.
- fuzzy chasing the light
- jack trying to make face masks out of an old t-shirt
- eduardo bueno's story about "the incident" with bob dylan. a low-reputation bar in 1991.
- fuzzy got a scary-looking cut on her face while we were clearing the cupboards and we all spent a couple of quiet hours in bed, looking after her, brushing the cats, talking
- duck hearts for lunch
- getting drunk on good friday and thinking yeah, whatever, maybe the internet is okay
- fuzzy's funny game with the bedroom door
- avril lavigne in fast food nation
- fritz tangled in my earphones
- "party" the night of jack's birthday, got drunk and listened to music and talked shit about moving to rome etc.
- a quiet hangover day of companionship, pizza and a film called patagonia filmed in argentina and wales
- the room, late to this party but glad to be here
- feeling useful when jack came to consult me about a scene in his novel
- jacket potato in the microwave
- a few weird, timeless days contemplating death
- reading capitalist realism out loud to jack every night
- cats in a sunbeam
- doing nonograms
- playing blue chairs
- singing three songs every day
- re-reading then we came to the end, i love re-reading things
- how to take smart notes made me understand some things
- i got tendinitis and deleted all the games from my phone
- researching nontheist quakerism
- swearing off the internet, maybe in a different way this time. spending the morning in bed, moisturising my legs and reading zines
- listening to the white album drinking brahma
- fritz sniffing the cherry blistex on my lips
- really strange dreams about a hippie festival on a boat and aj soprano
- drawing circles and collaging with recreio magazine and emoji stickers
- jack's face after like five episodes of friends and 18 reais wine
- whole grain chicken nuggets and noisettes
- every rainy day in this flat
- legacies of brazilian cinema
- staying up for three hours after il posto on thursday night, listening to a "latin-american music" playlist on youtube that was 95% belchior
- drunk-reading on demand culture, writing lots of enthusiastic post-it notes
- hate-watching high fidelity, which gave me a craving for fruit loops
- watching the crazy ministerial meeting in segments every morning with our coffee
- jack fishing on animal restaurant
- jack's impression of moro on whatsapp to help me order shampoo and soap online
- making yakult
- strangers in paradise
- ear infection the whole weekend and friday and monday, i feel like i'm under water and all i do is sit in the dark, playing animal restaurant and browsing the internet
- an increased number of meetings and long text exchanges with dani
- exhausted but not able to sleep
- made fudge on a grey sunday when nothing was right
- flush stopped working, jorge came to fix it and was really nice and helpful
- dia dos namorados, sparkling wine and blood on the tracks
- smelling salty, heavy street air from our window
- discount burgers and thimbleweed park
- the juxtaposition of watching the cbt mood tracker ad w/ 'dream a little dream of me' playing
- steady routine of note-taking, wikipedia editing, film theory course, zine reading in bed
- reading strangers in paradise, listening to michael hurley
- late period
- days reading, night classes
- got my period
- first season of keeping up with the kardashians and document theory
- watching old movies with a storm outside
- making "strawberry jam"
- a very, very good almond croissant
- studying with a yellow pen and a yellow notebook in hand, wrapped in sheets on the sofa
- fritz seemed to get a funny cramp on his back leg
- finally clearing out the wardrobes, then extremely tired evening as always after dealing with old objects and dust
- minas cheese and green grape sandwich
- rewatching girls
- jack singing sleepytown to fuzzy
- waking up late with a cough, garlic and lemon tea
- micromanaging our girls rewatch
- takeaway, watching ghost, japanese crisps is part of the model for how i want to live
- the kind of rainy weather that makes me feel like i'm in an aquarium
- domino's garlic bread pizza
- crazy drinks from the chinese shop
- fuzzy's wind-tunnel
- new season of university challenge
- cold shower and white dress on the first truly sunny day in weeks
- walk on the beach, first time outside in a long time. sore legs and even a slight sunburn
- cupuaçu ice lollies
- getting the wrong t-shirt in the post, and laughing about a band in tijuca getting 100 t-shirts with tony soprano's face on them
- watching glengarry glen ross and immediately wanting to watch it again
- got accepted to the research project i wanted
- long walk to furniture shop. a cartoon exhibition in the empty gallery. perfect light and perfect sea walking home at sunset. tired legs and salty skin
- lazy crazy hazy days playing burger shop 2 while i watch council meetings on youtube
- a lot of things seemingly clicking into place, even though i haven't been reading much fiction lately
- got the stray wild panda!
- my life is worthy, and known to me only. those who take the journey to know me, become aware of something previously undiscovered. an impending birthday that feels significant. drinking gin almost every night. listening to music for hours on friday, full of gratitude for my mind that i know no one and nothing can take away from me.
- birthday: visited my mum and grandmother, made a carrot cake, ordered a couvert from la mole, drank martinis with the tokstok glasses, watched the 'burbs and read charles bukowski poetry.
- watched dnc highlights and went to bed early
- rainy weekend reading adrian mole under the covers
- karamell delivery of pop tarts and japanese sweets
- almost a whole week staying up late reading
- found a really good pomade for my skin
- how exciting a bus ride can be
- daytime drinking tom collinses
- the bakers sandwiches
- falling asleep to the cool new robbie williams song with fuzzy lying on me
- reading the corrections til late every night
- productive sunday with a desk moved slightly to the left and frittata for lunch
- zoom meeting monday morning wearing all white feels like spring
- dreamy walk to the little park behind the fire station, bakery smell, sitting at a chess table sipping mineirinho
- the kuwtk episode with disick drunk in las vegas
- the adventure that is a walk to casa & vídeo and dinner at pierrot
- longer walk to the lake at sunset
- drinking japanese melon soda and watching movies on my computer in bed
- watching saturday night fever alone late at night when i couldn't sleep
- pistachio ice cream
- weird wet patches that smelled of rotten food. we thought they were coming from fuzzy and kept trying to sniff her. still don’t know what it was
- watching class action park because i wanted a comfy film
- carrying back computer chairs from my grandma's
- late-afternoon walks to dog hump square
- burgers from alfândega to celebrate the bittersweet end to my burger shop 2 journey
- other brand pistachio ice cream that tastes like playdough
- doing logic grid puzzles to wind down in the evening, instead of having a drink
- watered-down grape juice with ice in the superhero mug
- introducing cultural studies is my current toilet book
- doing stretches during breaks from work
- fuzzy trying to make friends with my new computer chair
- playing chaos on deponia and eating brigadeiro friday evening
- self-directed learning discord group
- jack reading tips online on how to look after cats and informing me that our cats are really happy
- last night of the earth poems my new toilet book
- exchanging george osborne gifs with jack during a very boring online class
- best light month
- fuzzy's stink face
- weekend watching shattered and researching the history of angolan cinema
- fuzzy broke my pink mug
- david's e-mail on how fixing stuff in his dad's house has given his life meaning in 2020
- finding old pictures of the cats as kittens while searching for something else
- fixed the tv
- louro josé died
- reading too many reviews of the ninth gate is the meaning of life
- i really hate my saturday morning class, it puts a stain on the weekend
- it's been grey and stuffy with rain at night
- gone with the wind
- obsessively searching opinions on whether rhett and scarlett get back together (they do)
- walk to the rock, the nice people playing music at the shoot the breeze place
- crazy night when my elderly neighbour broke her femur and we had to call an ambulance and go with her to the hospital
- second batch of transcriptions
- the old beautiful dream of the empress
- bought new bedsheets - jack kept trying to find the 'berlin' ones
- dog hump square has become our standard walk, sometimes we go a little further down to the lake, today we rented a bike and one of those electric scooters
- trying to find pistachio ice cream in the zona sul by roxy, a strange parallel universe experience
- for some reason my brain keeps thinking of songs i used to hear on the radio on the way back from school in the early 2000s
- a craaaaazy run on the beach!
- fritz all back to front under the fan
- "i honestly feel the chaos is starting to lessen"
- my bubble of niceness where everyone is only allowed to whisper, even about politics
- very thrilling run to the lake on a hot but really nice day
- love for humanity when showing each other our collections in class
- playing burger shop while listening to olivia newton-john is the only thing that calms me down
- life is simply too crazy to be reflected on at the moment
- it's horrible not knowing how i will remember these days, but we took an uber ride to del castilho and ate chicken in chris' backyard
- i feel incapable of living on the little things right now
- beyond the horizon ollie had some revelations about life on his birthday, and my mum had a good eclipse
jan 7 2020 ∞
oct 12 2024 +