✧*:･ﾟ✧ when you feel like you have lost your way, it’s because a new path is waiting. being inbetween worlds can invoke a feeling of hopelessness, this too will pass, keep moving forward. the tunnel is dark, but at the end there is always new light. ✧*:･ﾟ✧

• dec 01. damn what do u mean it's december??? wtf??? but honestly, thank god nov is over. that bitch needed to go lol | had bk with mika today for lunch!!! | i love human embryology :( | listened to some nice tunes today. noice
• dec 02. went to have the palace ice cream with my parents and iza!!!!! it was so fun :") | watched 99 and Rosa came out as bisexual!!!!! I'm sososo touched. everything that happened afterwards was so intense:( I rly hope things work out in the end. what capt holt told her was so touching. when you tell people who you are "the world becomes a better and more interesting place, so... thank you". when they hugged I felt hugged too. i love this love :-(
• dec 03. i miss walking with crissss!!! the walk to the postinho made me feel nostalgic djhfjdhsjs | I keep thinking about what I'm gonna do in the summer breaaakkkk I need this bitch so bad | listened to gooood music wow I have wonderful taste bitch | bought the laptop case!!! it's so basic but so pretty
• dec 04. on the way home, this lady came to me and told me the holy spirit told her to give me a hug and to tell me everything is going to b okay :( she hugged me and told me I have a beautiful smile :( this is so sososo sweet @god ur amazing damn:( | started listening to the tatbilb audiobook!!! it's fun so far. so many details lol | I gave myself the day kinda off. hydrated my hair, watched tatbilb, listened to nice music, took a nap, came HOME for lunch... yeah I deserved that
• dec 05. i laughed so much today wtf. and had so much fun oh my god!!! ok so I'm gonna tell u what happened. i went to uni to study for my organic chem test, it was like 9am or something. later in the evening lara came to talk to us, then we went to see our prof so he could clear some stuff for us, THEN we went to laras apt!!!! i had such a fun talk with her. we talked about living freely. she talked about not wearing bras anymore and I talked about my hair transition!!! then later we went to her apt and it is the CUTEST!!! god she's the cutest :/ pretty much everything good that happened today lol
• dec 06. GOD I MIGHT NOT EVEN HAVE TO DO THE CHEM FINAL EXAM!!!!!!!!I'm like. so happy I might not!!! | so I PASSED BIOCEL!!!!! FUUUUCKKKKK SJGRHSJSJSHSJS IM SOSOSSOOSSO HAPPY | I came home before lunch fjfhdjdhdjdh was too tired!!! had lunch and then took a huge nap :))) | studied a bit for tomorrow's anatomy test and spent time with mom!! I've been Missing my mom a lot lately..
• dec 07. i laughed a lot with iza today lol | watched 99 and listened to music!!! the earphones I bought aren't that bad also!!! | watched this comp of svt / their title performances... and lemme tell ya... i cried :( I love them SO much its insane :(
• dec 08. oh my god i love boo seungkwan!!!! | finished my first project... I'm gonna miss writing on this assignment, hope I get to do it again soon | ana comforting me bc I didn't pass another class :(.. she's an angel and I love her immensely | I love exos songs. they're peak quality music
• dec 09. spent a lot of time with my mom!!! we laughed and talked the entire day lol | I watched tons of movies and started this new show called forever. it's okay so far, hope I like it!! | listened to a lot of music.. love my playlists I have such a good taste in music | I PASSED ORG CHEM BITCH!!!!!!!! IM SOSOSOSO HAPPY !!!!!!
• dec 10. this morning I went outside to get some sunlight, and the dogs stayed with me and the birds too!!!! the weather was so nice, the sky was so blue it hurt my eyes!!! the trees looked so pretty (but when don't they look pretty?) and I felt at peace. I felt my heart free, my soul lifted... and I was just there, you know? i didn't need no music, no talking, no reading, and in that moment I just stayed silent, enjoying life the way it was given me. i didn't worry about exams or finals, what are you talking about silly!!! the only thing I could think of was how lucky I actually am. I'm glad I get to live such a beautiful and vast life. I'm so thankful oh my god. | spent time with lara today!!!!!! god she's the absolute prettiest. her eyes are blue like the ocean and I can't swim so I'm gonna drown in them:( I didn't like the feeling of saying goodbye to her... we had such weird convos and they felt so intimate... i don't know!!!!! ALSO she came all the way to the library to study with me. i told renata I shouldn't read into things so much but bitch!!! it's right there!!! I'm gay of course I'm gonna read into things, what do you think I am? not a woman lover??? and ahhh one more thing: when we talk I feel like I can say anything and it won't be an awkward conversation. she makes me feel really free and I don't give a shit if she doesn't have those type of feelings for me, I can tell we're getting close and that's worth so much more than a little crush, you have no idea my friend!!!! future natalia if ur reading this rn pls know you should cherish the tiny and heartfelt moments forever. pls don't waste them and think ppl aren't interested in you, because they ARE!!!! u are funny and entertaining, don't forget that you little bitch | hey guess what ! I'm having svt feelings again ahhhh I love them so much. my heart feels so sososo safe when I listen to their voices. i hope they know how happy they make me :-( | started watching the good place??? it looks so cool already!! | spent time with my familyyyyy <3 | everyone helping me with my sad and dumb ways to autosabotage myself lmfao. I'm thankful
• dec 11. hello bitch I spent the entire afternoon with lara AGAIN fjfhfjjdjd she's so fun and we laugh a lot.shes a funny bitch!!! also we went out together and I love the way she smells :/ and her voice and her skin hhhhhh too much | I went to meet lolas home!!! and had dinner with her!!! it was so short but so funnie!!!!! love my best friend damn | listened to trench a lot today.. like how did they come up with this album????? it's fucking flawless!!!? | I'm sososososo glad I don't have to take any uni entrance exam again ... shit looks fucked up these days
• dec 12. why do I worry so much? i have so much time!!! i should sit and worry a bit less. sit down and breathe bitch, life is now. live for now not next year. god damn it LIVE ! | I'm still so proud of my 95 final score on metep... i did my best for that project and I almost got the full score honey!!! I'm really proud of myself. you go you smart ass bitch!!! | went to see the enchanted Christmas tonight!!! everything looks BEAUTIFUL and sososo christmasy!!! we had great burgers also. my dad looked so cute today I **** him!!! and my mom. she's an angel omg | bidu all excited to see me when I came home from uni... that's love bitch!
• dec 13. god I passed statistics!!!!!!!!!! prof.. I love u but ull never know... he was so sweet ahhhhhh I'm so happy for me!!! i got a 91/100 score bih!!! to celebrate I had passion fruit ice cream hehe | Almighty is the sweetest and I hope he shines everywhere he goes :') | took a nap!!!! a well deserved one hdhdjdjskshs
• dec 14. GREAT lunch at uni!!!! tinha cupim assado, batata palha, arroz/feijão (que estavam uma delícia), polenta frita!!! tomate, que estava uma delícia tbm, e laranja!!! i ate alone but dude. it was incredible lol | god i love being attractive?? don't get me wrong I know i'm not a princess but dude. it's rly good to have eyes on me. i like it | listened to musiccccc love my kpoppies!!!
• dec 15. watched tons of stuff!! to spend time for and with myself.. I deserve some time off | ahhhh I love Amy!!!:( SO MUCH!!! an angel and she's such an inspiration for me... such a kind, sweet loving soul! | it rained today so the weather is not so hellish anymore!!! thank god. i was melting lol
• dec 16. my bujo looks so simple but so cute!!! | read so many taeyeon lyrics today.. a genius | read tatbilb!!! i think I prefer reading than listening. idk when I read it's my own pace, and I don't rly like the fact that the audiobook only has 1 voice. make it a live one bitch | goddd I got this rly incredible feeling i wanna read the Raven boys !!!!! like it's tiring and I won't ever buy the actual book but dudes.... it's the song of Achilles feeling all over again in this bitch!!! if I had the money... I'd read so many books.. or at least buy them lmfao sometimes I wish I had a bf just for that alone. I'd be like "fuck you bitch go buy me a book" and he'd cry and go buy the fucking book!!!! men are trash lol scumbags
• dec 17. oh my god i saw the dog today!!! the tiny dog that looks like bidu!!! almost cried of happiness | idk I love being kind and helpful :/ | listened to tons of good music today while I was studying!!! | spent so Much time with iza I cannot WAIT for my summer break ahhhhh | I love my friends :( (we got each other, don't need no other) also my mom. she's an ANGEL oh god. | i looked so pretty today. wore my spike jeans shorts and my cozy white t-shirt!!! looked pretty bc I had the scapular on!! and the watch!!! and the skin!!! the face!!! PRETTYYYY
• dec 18. i think I did good??? on the zoo exam??? dude I am really confident about this one. | had bubble waffle with mika after the exam!!! it was rly yummy :))) | took my most deserving nap of the year! four hours bitch! | today is lolas bday. and also jongs death bday. i love them both a lot | finished my 99 marathon!!! cried and laughed so hard!!! i love my tv show ahhhh | I looked so pretty today.. I look so pretty when I'm happy. "happiness looks good on you" and it's correct lol | I feel at peace when it rains, it's amazing!!!
• dec 19. TURNS OUT I DID GREAT ON THE EXAM!!!!! fucking passed this motherfucking class. get a load of this smart ass bitch!!!! | love watching silicon valley, shits funny as fuck!!! | idk didn't do much and that's like? amazing??? woke up early and watched fresh prince with iza lol!!! funnie!!!! | bidu was so cute today I love him :(
• dec 20. hiii I haven't done anything today and I learned so much about whales and evolution!!!! anyways i loVe animals and evolution is a cutie | loving silicon valley!!!!!! | started listening to mythology podcasts??? hope it's good lol | had ice cream while in the rain today!!! | uhhh today my mom combed my hair for me :) it was cute | uhh today my dad stroked my cheek? and I was like ehhh and he was like "u never rly liked it right?" and we laughed. it was weird
• dec 21. i worked today bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 35 temers for it but I think it might be worth it lol. one day = my earphones | idk I rly love the rain feeling and the longing feeling you know... i rly love it | posted a new pfp and everyone liked it lol!! lara commented "what a beautiful woman" and I melted right there god.
• dec 22. i just realized loving girls is the best experience I will ever get to live. nothing else can compare. this is INSANE | went to church to celebrate Rita!!! and thank her for everything she and Him have done for me!!! i love them so much oh. god. | went to work again today and got my moneeeyyy bitch!!! also dani was drunk lmfAO today was fun as fuck ngl | listening to London grammar... where are u lg I miss u lg... | my pens arrived!!! they're the cutest omg :') | ok I looked BEAUTIFUL today. it's insane how good I look when I put effort into it. INSANE
• dec 23. I'm glad I got to buy the pants!!! | i love amy :-( | had an amazing lunch today!!! with the parentz!!! it was delicious oh my GODDDDD
• dec 24. happy xmas eve!!! spent time with my family and it was Mostly fun lol. | ana is so sososo pretty and so sweet I might Just CRY | I looked BEAUTIFUL today. so cute! damn! | i watched a ton of season 3 of sv. almost finished the goddamn thing lmfao | today was raining when we came to my aunt's. it was so pretty | kinda wish I had a bf/gf hours... yeah
• dec 25. merry christmas!!!! | had funnie with family today. also I love ana. and cris!!!! so much!!! | watched amelie today and took print screens of the pretty parts ahhh!!! i love this movie so much. | 21p are the superior. nothing else interferes. and I'm absolutely correct
• dec 26. CRIS IS HOMEEE!!!! we went walking the park together this morning ahhhh I missed her so much!!! | finally watching portlandia again :o | my mom's just the most beautiful angel this earth has ever seen:( she's basically perfect and I'm right | god i took the nicest nap today:o finally felt like summer break. i needed to rest bitch | yknow when ur so tired and u lie down and ur legs literally thank you? that's me
• dec 27. joutjout... she's an angel and brings me so much peace:( |talked a lot with letc today yay!!!!!! miss her a lot | I wanna go to the beach feels... | mom is the cutest omg :o
• dec 28. ahhhh i love organizing my own stuff!!! AND I LOVE CLEANING!!!!!!!!!!! it just brings me so much JOY. it's insane!!! | i listened to a lot of music today yay??? | had fun with mom, she's the cutest damn... | watching portlandia yay!!! and blogging of course. | i love ana :(
• dec 29. henllooo I bought another big tshirt heheheh it's a carlton dancing one :o it's really cute and it fits rly well | bought the princess saves herself book! idk the title that well but I'm really enjoying the book so far. it's like milk and honey!! | i uhh love women? just spent the night talking to very mature women and they're like. angels!!!:( and they're so pretty also omg | had GREAT food at claudia's :o it was AMAZING. | felt really pretty today... yeah!!! | rly spent time with mom and iza today bc we went shopping lol. I'm tired but the good kinda tired | I might be in love with king princess and girl in red. who knows! | my dad told me he loved me while he was saying gnight tonite... i almost CRIED
• dec 30. i think I'm gonna loVe being part of a book club!! me and renata decided on the books and let me tell you... our minds.. are connected :o | I love cris! so much! and ana too!!!! | spent a lot of time in nature today wow... my beautiful cottage paradise... and I love ducks..they're the prettiest (and loudest oh my god) + also had great food and great hugs lol (this won't make sense when u read it in the future. good luck bitch) | I LOVE my mom wow | ahhhh I sent metep prof a message thanking her for everything and she was SO sweet I almost cried :(
• dec 31. hhhh I love spending time with let and her bf!!! he already feels like family and she is one of my bestest friends :') | had great food today wow?? | God's love for me... i have no words to thank Him :(