either way, you are not at fault in this fate. just keep going on as you always have.

• may 01. good music, good food and good company. highlights: watching the untamed like it's the first time, my dad telling me how beautiful my hair looks today, finally sorting some stuff for my project!!!, 127 sharing thoughts and love for each other, taking care of my plants (inspired by jenna's house plants tour!!!), just being productive !!!
• may 02. productive day!!! i watched the whole online symposium thingy and it was awesome!!! didn't know biotherapy was a thing?? and fell in love with bromelias :") watched a movie and tyh. had some fun throughout the day, too!!! GOOD Indian cake and grapes :")
• may 03. i'm not that fond of lazy days, but what am i gonna do lol. started rewatching community because why not lmfao? listened to reboot tonight and jesus christ, fucking beautiful. nothing will ever top this.
• may 04. happy is out! and i'm happy. i love it when my heart is filled with love for taeyeon and taeyeon only. truly the woman of my life.
• may 05. still very much happy because of miss tae :") and good music. and untamed. got all giggly and soft with tyh but we just got to the sad part :( ok good things: saw two really different birds in our backyard this morning, laughed SO much i thought I was gonna explode or something, doing bujo art (for happy!)
• may 06. cool things: loving ana, finished the untamed & touch your heart, listening to twice reminiscing pre uni times, german is actually really cool, making my parents laugh. (but I honestly still can't believe how beautiful the untamed ending was, it was literally out of this world!!!)
• may 07. bujo art & the office & music, keeping me sane. also julien and jenna doing dumb stuff.
• may 08. that one haechan radio show with the dreamies for ridin' touched my heart, I really love these tall beautiful dudes. music, lauraceae and nct dream keeping me sane.
• may 09. cake, churros and feijoada day! also my poster is looking so pretty. and jenna & julien mean the world to me.
• may 10. happy mother's day!!! i'm just thinking.,,. my grandma would have LOVED my aunt's bf, i can totally picture her hugging him when he comes over for sunday quality grandma time.
• may 11. ended up finishing weekend? that's a nice movie. went shopping with mom and iza & got myself a pair of earphones and strawberry and condensed milk ice cream :')
• may 12. today was a fun and lazy day and it rained!!! listened to some music and did nothing.
• may 13. I cannot believe we're almost halfway through may. MAY!! anyways lazy day because it rained so I enjoyed some peach tea and grilled cheese like tomorrow would never come. watched a ton of exile mvs!!! and fell in love with like three guys. big day for me oof. watched okja (2017) and it was so good, I cried a lot. steven yeun speaking korean means the world to me.
• may 14. the sun came out today and I was really happy with that. spent some time outside enjoying the sunlight and listening to music!!!
• may 15. i truly love spending time with my mom, today we had some tea together talking about her day and that shit fucking lifts me up dude. i LOVE that she's happy and that when she's happy she spreads it everywhere. also, julia jacklin if you're reading this i am absolutely in love with you, pls respond. rewatched god's own country (2019) because i needed to rewatch josh fucking DELIVER his performance. i felt really pretty today! and watched jenna&julien flirting for like 10mins. my succulents THRIVE in sunlight, i'm like those bitches i see a sunlight streak i'm holding their leaves UP baby!!!
• may 16. my brother came over to fix something in our bathroom and i loved spending time with him and my mom??? i had a dream with him in it so it was a nice surprise. i love my plants & my mom very very very much!!!
• may 17. self care time today!!! nails, hair and legs too lol. spent time with iza and i'm so glad she's liking the playlist so far omg. jessica jung please make music i miss u. watched two movies: on the beach at night alone & it's just the end of the world.
• may 18. today was such a pretty day. i felt very much alive and loved. felt welcomed and cherished. baked my first good carrot cake! thanks to ana and my mom the cake turned out amazing. listened to piano music all day really? then at night I watched jojo rabbit (2019) and now my heart is forever soft. ana being an angel always.
• may 19. ok today wasn't going too well but it turned out pretty great I guess? had some fun time with iza dancing @ justdance lol. did a lot of stuff for my projects. listened to some foals. watched friends & the middle and fell asleep, it felt nice, cozy and laughing.
• may 20. kinda did a lot of stuff for the project today, feeling proud! listened to so much music it's running through my veins at this point. took a sweet nap bc mom encouraged me to rest :") made some effort to get out of my bad mood tonight, it honestly kinda worked?
• may 21. cozy day!!! and listened to tons of music too. cleaned my phone, what a relief.
• may 22. kazue told me I'm doing a good job!!! very proud of myself. worked on my bujo, read a bit about bees and birds tonight, music too.
• may 23. spent the day immersed in music mostly. had my fun with music videos too!!!and art stuff.
• may 24. vixx is eight years old today!!! thank god i can get cozy in my room. watched mad about you and laughed my ass off, I miss them.
• may 25. I don't like to say it but I do love making lunch. and I love the fact that sometimes (ana agrees with me here) you just need to stop and let time do its thing!!! took care of my plants today, no longer angry. my fern is literally so big??? listened to good music, watched mad about you and laughed a lot.
• may 26. fleabag season two made me feel hopeful, what a great fucking show. my plants look so pretty!!! hope they survive the cold nights. and the big flowering ones I'm so excited for the red flowers!!! can't wait for all trees to be flowering too, the smell of jabuticaba flowers everywhere. and my fern is gigantic this bitch is going places I think? mom says she'll buy us another one soon, so that's exciting too.
• may 27. the peace billie marten brings me with her music is just out of this world, extraordinary shit my guy!!! my project going places I think?? making some progress.
• may 28. i actually had a very nice nap today and cleaning rly was worth it. i was so excited to make lunch today, idk why exactly, and it turned out GREAT. started rewatching 'laughter in waikiki' and let me tell you, i couldn't stop laughing. literally laughter in waikiki guesthouse!!!
• may 29. i see a bird, my heart races! i'm honestly very excited to learn more about them. and bees too!!! i'm still rewatching some mad about you episodes from season five and god i couldn't stop laughing at the astrology episode? one more thing: i LOVE foals. and i wanna get to know blur too??? my dad bought me garapa and I almost cried. it tasted like summer evenings & freedom. also had fleabag date with ana!!! it was FUN!??:")
• may 30. I have so much fun with my yt babies?!?! had homemade cheeseburgers and açaí tonight, good saturday night in!!! saw tiny beautiful birds today, what a sight.
• may 31. may came and went so fast, I couldn't even breathe and the month came to an end in the midst of all this chaos. i really wish everyone could've enjoyed may as the "almost cold" or "winter's coming" or "pre june parties" moods. or the mother's month. the month were we study like crazy because the semester is coming close to an end. the flowering season too! here's to may 2020, that was so overshadowed by life it became "one of the months we spent quarantined", hoping for may 2021 to be the best one yet.