[tell me what's your november, is it a person?]

• nov 01. had such a great time with helen today??? felt so loved too. had açaí and tasty drinkssss.
• nov 02. ok music today was the same as always but it was FIRE!!! and I also sang a lot. felt happy. today I felt better, thank god. even watched the tea leone and jim carrey movie!!!
• nov 03. laughing with fob and p! laughing compilation hehehe. also happy to go to church! and feeling cute.
• nov 04. honestly needed to be alone today. wandered off a bit though the streets. i really love my own company. but I love friends too you know? had a great time with them today.
• nov 05. sometimes you need to pay attention, so you can realize your problems don't matter. life is still beautiful.
• nov 06, 07 & 08. I was too tired to write I guess? sincerely apologize tho.
• nov 09. the bookstore. hmmm... talking about vincent!! feeling connected to a book I just met!!! ppl I just met!!! that's what life is for. / felt independent today. was kinda scared, but did it anyways!!!!
• nov 10. girls. today I watched the vid where ryan sings northern downpour??? and the interview??? i am honestly so in love with this guy it's insane. i cried so much listening to him sing "sugarcane in the easy morning, weather vanes my, one and lonely" was like pure magic. and ofc i cried!!! / felt emotional with ytg today too. it's music, how can i NOT cry?
• nov 11. the bad list & behind the sea alternate version. crying blood!!! / spent some time crying and a few others just watching and observing. i feel different.
• nov 12. still very emotional bc of the bad list. dude this song. ?!!!:( ok but today was a weird ass day, it started out so bad?? and now I'm happier than ever??? honestly. here's what happened: me and helen ordered food from bobs, and it took waaaay to long to get there and we missed genetics for this! so the lady reimbursed us with MORE food AND a milk shake??? weird day!!! also I am in love with insects??!!:"") they're the tiniest little cuties (except for the big ass ones lol). starting to remember and of believe fully and truly that God walks beside me and feels this pain with me. He is my shepperd and I shall not fear. / weird addition but I just saw the cutest minpin, who looks exactly like a bidu and bolt mixture??? cutest little cutie!!! spent some time with bolt tonight tho. I love them so much I could explode.
• nov 13. uhh. maybe things do work out in the end? even if the road isn't linear, even if it's filled with curves and rocks and shit i didn't ask for. maybe the ending will be worth it.
• nov 14. even tho my days have sucked very badly, I'm still very much glad to be alive. to be here!!! i guess it's when those moments take you in that you realize how blessed you are. for me it's listening to Titus was born by ytg and just absorving nature as it is. and realizing maybe my problems aren't that big. bc they aren't.
• nov 15. holiday!!! watched a ton of yt videos bc im resting!!! went out with my family bc santa arrived today in town lol?? got to eat lots of food too. today I'm loving vincent and bugs.
• nov 16. went to the park when uni stuff got too overwhelming :") read a bit, spent time with mom and nature. went out with allan tonight just to cool my jets. feeling a lot better. oh and I'm ofc in love with scott cramer :") it's the kurtis fever all over again!!!??
• nov 17. insects are so fucking COOL??? i honestly thank God for them. such beautiful complex creatures wow!!! / watched shrek 1&2 tonight. with mom and iza. god I love the shrek universe. also in love with skyrim and where it's set. a lover of alternate worlds!!! and of my own!!!
• nov 18. learning new shit is always so exciting!!! listening to good music too. and coming home after a long ass day. and eating food after a while being hungry. yeah!!!
• nov 19. today I kinda thought out loud that maybe I'm a lesbian. and not bi. men are just... garbage to me. lol?? feels good to be around ppl who understand me tho. learning genetics tho!!! it was fun too. also I'm pretty sure jr and I met before. he's been taking care of me :(
• nov 20. pls I'm pmsing so ppl taking care of me? being so close and hugging and loving me explicitly? that's happiness!!! also naps!!! and music!!! and Jesus:")
• nov 21. girls are the most beautiful little things human beings have to offer???!? also. i wanna program!!!!
• nov 22. happy jihoon and rita day!!! mom took flowers to thank. felt sweet. also I'm in love with insects!!! and my friends ofc. i love loving them :") today we got free chocolate cake at the bakery??? and my powerpuff girls perfume arrived :")
• nov 23. spent quality family time today!!! iza took her step 1 test :o. I'm honestly so glad I got in, the hurting and suffering were worth it!!!
• nov 24. saw sunshine streaks on trees today and my heart soared. and talked about and read a ton of evolution shit related to plants :")
• nov 25. made out with ***** tonight? omg. also had fun with everyone!!!!!!
• nov 26.
• nov 27. it rained so much nature mirrored my soul!??!? i miss ***** already??? hm.
• nov 28. even though today had a LOT of bad news, I'm trying to be positive. being optimistic might help right? things are going to be just Fine!!!
• nov 29. life is meant to be lived. so there are gonna be some bad days. maybe more than the good ones. and that's okay, when I figure things out, I'm gonna forget about those bad ones and stick to the good ones. ana shows me every single day how much it's worth living. today she was feeling a lot better and "at peace". my world was crumbling a few hours ago, now I'm building it all over again because that's what living is about!!! she shows me life is worth finding out WHY it's so good to live. i love u, ana.
• nov 30. ok that scene in amelie where she's just holding nino and caressing him in her bed? that's soft girls moment and I had one tonight. i love going to something new, whatever it is. it always brings me good feelings. thank u for new opportunities!!!