[you are loved, you are seen, and you are on a journey of becoming, even in the waiting, you will grow in the way you were meant to - mhn]

• sep 01. mass was sweet!!! missed the feeling. + today it rained all day, it felt like forks lol. + started euphoria and god it's insane how in love I am with zendaya..,,,, + I laughed a Lot today. also made my mom laugh too. AND made carrot cake!!!
• sep 02. i LOVE being loved??? being surrounded by people who love me ?? it's the sweetest. + studying my ass off bc I KNOW it will be worth it. even if I get no immediate result. I'm doing my very best :D + today I felt... confident!!!
• sep 03. you know when you laugh your ass off and you think you're literally going to EXPLODE? me today!!! it's such a good feeling, I swear. + i LOVE studying. what would I do if not that??? + felt loved today!!! + had GREAT food at ginga today lol. also a wonderful time with helen :") she literally means the world to me wtf..
• sep 04. idk feeling important and loved.. it's a one of a kind feeling. + i love biology!!! what the fuck!!!
• sep 05. love thinking about the complexity of plants!!!?? they're way too cool. + I'm in LOVE with spiders???? + also in love with tom holland :/
• sep 06. helen makes me feel loved :( . I'm happy today. felt pretty and things are going well!!! watched shit today and managed to revise a lot!!! happy.
• sep 07. thankful for everything great in my life, in this life. nature, music, friends!!! + had a Moment with my hair today, felt REALLY blessed to have this one as part of me. to think I hated it before... + came across this joe pera guy on yt (adult swim) and literally fell in love at first sight?? that's a nice thing to be a part of. thanks joe, my heart got really soft. also an owl sneezing. a cephalopod hiding all shy from cameras!!! + talking to renata about this theory we have that our body forces us to mate. weird!!! + THANKFUL FOR PLANTS!!!!! and kurtis conner.
• sep 08. my bird eating bananas!!! birds!!! big birds, small birds, weird birds!!! i love them!!! + good music, thank u. + a diplopoda cutie came across me tonight :") + sometimes I feel unloved but sometimes I feel very loved and the latter makes everything worth it.
• sep 09. it's weird, but I say this as I MELT from the heat wave: I missed the summer feel!!! + saw the cutest lizard today at uni and the bigno trees are all white with flowers now!!! and immunology is REALLY interesting + even though I didn't study for today's histo test, I think I did well. + sometimes I do not feel loved, I feel pitied. then someone goes and does something really BIG for me and I understand. + studied with notting hill as my background music tonight :") + bolt is the SWEETEST dog in the world, bidu also!!! + i can't stop listening to ftp's pick up ep??? it's rly good. + CARROTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! + whenever life felt bad and unworthy today I thought of plants (they go through so much shit all fucking DAY and here I am, complaining) and joe pera. the fact that things will be fine, I will recover from all this, gives me hope.
• sep 10. i woke up to my sister talking about how BEAUTIFUL the jabuticaba flowers were, the smell was literally everywhere :") thank u mother nature, I'm so happy my tree is alive and WELL!!!! + also on the streets, on my way to uni, I smelt the scent and knew!!! it was jabuticaba. they're flourishing everywhere ahhh !!! + time with mom :") + I love my plants... lauraceae flowers are so pretty hmmmm + I felt CUTE today!!! and ppl thought so too, thanks lol
• sep 11. i love it when ppl laugh at shit i say lol and I love laughing my ASS OFF + started mycology.. hmm... did not know fungi were sososo weirdly distributed amongst the phylogenetic lineages??? amoeba fungi?? fungi who are related to diatoms??? this is a weird day!!! + read a bit and *screaming emoji* I MISS ARISTOTLE MENDOZA!!!! + listened to some GOOD music today. i mean taeyeon.
• sep 12. persea flowers :") I miss my plants!!!!
• sep 13. allan came over for food :") + music!!! + felt loved by my friends today. feels good to have them around me!!!!
• sep 14. I love getting that RUSH wanting to study!!! i rly do. + just.. paul & jamie :(
• sep 15. god I love tom holland t.t + watched wade again ! what I would give to be him and OR morena in that scene when he finally comes home to her. "kiss me like you miss me" :( + getting ahead of my studies!!!!
• sep 16. thank god I tuned on yt when I was having lunch this morning. i ran into this guy, talking about how "sleep is death being shy"?? and I was like. hmmm this sounds fun let's watch :D?? and this shit literally changed my life.what a precious little video. + i love plants and got. evolution!!! need I say more? + watching kpop vids and thinking about life. + vincent was so lonely... i hope, wherever he is rn, that I, sometimes, feel as lonely as he did. + i love it when ppl worry about me >:(
• sep 17. got home all tired and thankful and let and marangaba here telling me they brought me my bday present early??? she got me a friends tshirt :( I literally almost cried. god I love those twoooo!!! + i can honestly see myself working with phylogeny... plant systematics!!!! + ppl (ok naming names: helen!!!, my mom, vitor, felipe!!! also isa ahhh) worrying about me and taking care of me :( thamk u :( +
• sep 18. happy bday renata!!! + isabel and her baby raccoons + my mom + everyone taking care of me + ppl actually liking my presence + soon I'll get rid of this big ass TOOTH I couldn't care less about
• sep 19. I love that we're always helping each other no matter what!!!! + i love PLANTS!!! + had great food and great company today. a good day. + you know the old couple by the bus stop? she came to him with a piece of mango for her and for him!!! :(
• __ sep 20.__ my gen test wasnt as I expected it to be. it's fine, we'll be fine. + imuno prof is the funniest!!! and I can understand what he says now lol. and our new zoo prof is an angel and we're gonna learn a LOT from him. + that tired feeling when you KNOW you're (kinda) free. yeah!!!
• sep 21. omg just stayed IN and did next to nothing :") + watched tv stuff!!!! like seinfeld and new girl, AGAIN!!! + spending time with mom and izaaa
• sep 22. happy st rita day, I'm sure she would've loved to have fun with me & the plants today. + i love plants and this might seem repetitive, but I swear it's got another meaning. i love loving them!!! everything about them I love!!! + pancs & fancs was so fun & entertaining! also delicious duh!!! he is the dreamiest plant guy out there,,. god help me
• sep 23. first day of spring!!!!! sun was shining so pretty early in the morning, the sunshine streaks got me !!!! + cute dog on the way to uni!!!! + being well taken care of at the dentist :')
• sep 24&25 dude these days were HARD. i hope i recover soon!!!
• sep 26. hi I'm feeling a lot better today, thank god!!! even managed to study a little. also have been eating a lot, the pain is going away and the swolleness is practically gone :") + spent a LOT of time with god today. feeling rly thankful!!! + had good nutritious food, milk, beans, tomato, crackers!!! good shit.
• sep 27. jesus jesus jesus!!! i love you!!! thank you for being there for me and with me!!! you make my heart shake, i love you immensely!!! + i love it when people take care of me. when i'm vulnerable i rly appreciate it. thank u frens :( + feeling a Lot better today, girls!!! missed the uni vibe. glad to know ppl missed me as much as i missed them :")
• sep 28. omg girls!!! today was so good so fun so sweet!!! the herpetology course, learned a lot of stuff abt the animals themselves but I did learn a lot about me too. laughed my ass off and it was rly nice. i like being in the park at night. brings me such peace!!!
• sep 29. uh oh ladies september is coming to an end too??? wow! today I didn't do much but I did spend time with myself. watched some stuff and read a bit. also moisturized my hair!! it looked SO pretty and it's so big too!!!
• sep 30. september is over girls?? wow??? + felt very welcomed by everyone today, it really feels like ppl appreciate being around me :") + had churros, nutella pao de queijo & great lunch!!! also great company, helen & vitor making it all worth it. i love teasing mika too lol + overall a GOOD DAY!!! my pain is getting better & I hope my teeth recover pretty soon. excited for that's to come!!! missed the uni feeling, I really love it. + feeling loved by God is one of the greatest treasures I could ever keep. and I'm gonna love her for a very LONG time.