✽ resting isn't transactional. you don't need to do anything special or extra difficult to deserve a break. you don't need to reach a certain goalpost of suffering and exhaustion before you're allowed time off. resting for a day doesn't mean that you're obligated to work twice as hard the next day. humans need variety. humans need quiet time. humans need time to "shut off", whatever that looks like for them.

✽ last night, as I was sleeping, I dreamt - marvelous error! - that I had a beehive here inside my heart. and the golden bees were making white combs and sweet honey from my old failures — antonio machado

✽ good things come and go. but they come!!!

✽ the point being, that I am a tender heart still, vulnerable, never wise, but tender hearted - anne sexton

✽ people are never the neat little image you carry of them in your head. they will let you down sometimes bc they are human the way you are. they have thoughts theyll never utter the way you do. they have felt shame the way you have. guilt. rage. greed. lust. no matter the rose colored glasses you look at them through, the light they may bring into your life, the way their presence dazzles and warms you. they are still a person with their own volition who will on occasion, do something you perceive as inconceivably out of character. but that’s the point, they aren’t a character. and nor are you. and these are things you must remember. and you’ll have to remember to allow them a place on the ground beside you rather than the golden pedestal you kept them on. and you will feel the grief of recognizing your innate humanity. when you finally recognize your fallibility do not forget to acknowledge it in others. and though it may be painful you must learn to forgive them for it the way you must learn to forgive yourself, too.

✽ The good news is that you aren’t (and never will be) going backwards. You’ll never undo your progress or unlearn the good things you took so long to discover. Everything, even failure or a mistake or a wrong decision, is progress: if you don’t succeed immediately, you learn and if necessary you learn the same lesson again. Whichever one it is, however much it hurts, you’re moving forward.

✽ live. live messy and vibrant and warm and wholeheartedly. dare to embrace the parts of yourself that are confusing and complex and don’t come in pretty packages. let yourself accept the love and light you engulf others in. live and live unapologetically as yourself, the battered, bruised and muddled parts included.

✽ You Are Not Wasting Time; It Was Given To You As A Gift, Freely and Generously; Is Rain Wasted Because It Falls On Gardens, Grass, Disgruntled Birds, and Umbrellas All The Same?

✽ you are allowed to be proud of the victories that no one else can see. like showering without completely hating your body, not breaking into tears at the thought of the future, talking yourself out of a dark mindset, calming yourself down in public, or like waking up every single day and choosing life. be proud of the progress no matter if it is visible for others or not. you’re doing great, keep up the good work!

✽ Once, when I was laying in bed subconsciously addicted to misery, I looked outside, saw the sun, and realized I had other options

✽ you have you and you always have you. do you understand?