i find death fascinating, to be honest. and while i acknowledge that it is full of pain and sadness, i refuse to have that dictate the attitude. thus, here are some things i am considering for my own passing.

• i want to be cremated. i admire people who want the (open or not) casket, but i've never been a big spender. let me combine myself with nature. i'd like to be split in three: part of me sprinkled over the golden gate bridge, part of me over hellyer park in san jose, and part of me over the tower bridge in london.
• i don't want any real flowers - again with the cash. i'd rather have the money donated to whatever charity i will no doubt be supporting then.
• i want my CDs, books, and clothes to be donated back to amoeba, green apple, and buffalo exchange/the goodwill (respectively); i want someone else to have the pleasure of hunting for my treasures in the same way i hunted for someone else's. (i will have already decided what other special artifacts goes to who.)
• i want my kids to have all my photography materials and books, journals, and scrapbooks full of history. no exceptions. i want them to know about my life and who i was, where i came from, and how they got to be who they are. if for some reason i don't have kids when i pass, it will go to my brother and then my parents.
• i want a huge party. i want people dancing, playing guitar hero, and hugging. i want a celebration of my life instead of the mourning part extended. it's okay to cry, but only because you miss me - not because you regret anything.
• i want my parents, josh, all my ex-boyfriends, and my best friends to deliver some sort of eulogy that incorporates a joke.
• i will have a mix CD that i will have done that will be played at my funeral. no exception, unless somehow we could book radiohead to play "pyramid song" live.
• i want lots of food. there's never really food at funerals, is there? i want to be a fattie til the end...