my friends are fucking hilarious. and love me. spelling retained from the original message, initials only given to protect the innocent...and the very, very guilty.

• "Huh?, my nuts eh?"/"Hopefully u can see a lil ball action" - S, Sept 5
• "Ha! Cool cool. Im in the buthole of california. IE: stanislaus" - L, Sept 4
• "I know! It sounds like hes either an edwin picking up on u or a world of warcraft player who needs a study partner...But i dunno..." - L, Sept 4
• "Watching the jt concert on hbo and reliving that nite in nyc. ::swoons"" jt is a beautiful human being." - W, Sept 3
• "Jee-enz it's your birthdaaay, Happy Birthday Jee-enz!!" - M, Aug 31
• "i wanna b a guitar hero!" - J, Aug 30
• "Leaving for Italy! I love you more than i can say, thank you for all your support and love. Ill be hardcore missing you. Ill be it touch. i Love you-******" - R, Aug 29
• "Ur so cute! Happy 1st day of school to u too sweetie!" - C, Aug 28
• "Hey hot stuff, how ya doing?!" - K, Aug 28
• "Thats my girl! If you hooked up with him in the bathroom id be even more impressed." - A, Aug 27
• "Oh yeah, JT makes every afternoon better" - B, Aug 22
• "Standing in front of the world's largest ball of twine....Had to share this moment w/ you..." - H, Aug 20
• "Happy birfday! I heart you so hard!" - H, Aug 17
• "Haha. Love u birthday girl!" - L, Aug 17
• "Oh you! Happy bday fun times last nite for surez...Xo" - A, Aug 17
• "Happy birthday pop scene" - B, Aug 17
• "happy birthday!" - SJ, Aug 17
• "Happy birthday jenzy! I love you!" - H, Aug 17
• "Happy birthday lioness! I hope you are piss drunk and making out like a bandit. 8-D" - W, Aug 17
• "In nyc you are not a stacker" - PS, Aug 15
• "Be there in a few, it's fucktard day on the road. And fucktard really needs to be in t9." - K, Aug 15
• "Sweet! This place is awesome. They've already commented on my boobs" - SJ, Aug 11
• "We can hang out for a bit tonight" - PS, Aug 6
• "Ha! did you ever see that movie i starred in with alicia silverstone?" - P, Aug 4
• "I'm drunk, and, i just lost the game" - P, Aug 4
• "I love u guys. I'm glad to hear Stuart's phone is one of the non anti-semetic phones." - SJ, July 29
• "Oh and mighty. I just came. Twice." - R, July 28
• "I'm totally preparing for thd guitar hero tournament right now! Trogdor" - SJ, July 27
• "Overheard on muni: Girl-Who says that? Guy-Skanks." - K, July 20
• "Can't believe i'm showing tourists around at a gay strip club. Crazy crazy." - T, July 20
• "Im on my period. im bleeding everywhere" - A, July 19
• "We didnt. I told him putting it in his butt wuld get him sick even if we didnt makeout" - J, July 19
• "I'm at a bbq at mobys brothers apartment..ill call you when i come home" - A, July 15
• "Cuteness overload! Chester Bliss just made an appearance at my work" - M, July 15
• "Fuck...based on what i thought i knew about space and physics, thats not possible for one so small...you bought her sake, didnt you..." - B, July 13
• "Haha...nonsense...if they wanted different, they'd have hired a nun..." - B, July 13
• "Faggntry fer sure" - J, July 13
• "quit playing games with my heart! BSB - love you" - S, July 11
• "Pweeease? Just make sure he isnt dead once ina while" - L, July 11
• "Its actually a lot of fun...im not good, so i just try to wreck with style..."/(me: "hahahahaha...oh my god you ice skating best picture ever, i am so sorry")/"Yeah, years ago...i had bruises like a forsaken mango..." - B, July 11
• "Call me when you get off and ill pick you up and then you can eat ******'s food" - S, July 9
• "I just helped the lead singer of the counting crows pick out swimming trunks and i totally gave him a bitchy attitude...My life rules." - R, July 9
• "Barracuda has a drunk drag queen I kinda love her" - V, July 8
• "I just got all green lights from the middle of the park all the way home! RULZORS! - S, July 8
• "There's nothin, but love here! With my super fancy phone thing." - D, July 7
• "Oh yeah! JT in the morning" - B, July 7
• "PS. Pilots have big butts" - L, July 6
• "Im sorry! Cyber-hug!" - L, July 6
• "I wished i was flashed so this was not a complete failure" - W, July 6
• "Uh, i definitely have road rash. but i wasnt in an accident- just a fight with a cooler" - S, June 29
• "How goes it? Im in a tent right now!" - L, June 29
• "Man i am my favorite cook" - S, June 25
• "Eat it but you are probably goin to get super stoney prepare" - K, June 24
• "Heard the umbrella song. Thought of u!" - L, June 23
• "I really can't wait to see you. Its kind of ridiculous." - A, June 23
• "Hi! Just left you a sweet british accent message. Because i could." - K, June 21
• "Hey lady! Just wanted to say I love you!" - K, June 19
• "Went on a diet today. We are now the 'no beer squad' yay!" - L, June 18
• "So i may be really drunk really quickly- but i blame the high altitude" - H, June 17
• "K just tried to drunk dial you but i am sloshed and could not figure out how the phone worked :) " - H, June 17
• "Bring your dad to the horrors :) " - V, June 17
• "He's picking out all the fatties on the bus" - L, June 15
• "go jen! as long as u didnt drunk dial asshole, im happy. dontcha love the sweds?" - M, June 15
• "Nachos! Cheese sauce is the hot!" - L, June 15
• "jen dont worry. i luv u. and any hate i have is directed toward ******* anyway. enjoy pop scene! im almost 2 my stop. i know why u did it. & strangely i feel glad u did it w/ me, 2 me. do something fucking scandelous!" - M, June 14
• "You're feeling an asshole? Kinky."/"Wow! You must be drunk. Wheeee!"/"No you shut up, drunk! We'll settle this on the dancefloor." - W, June 14
• "It will be at least 99 years before i get *** out on a tuesday" - V, June 14
• "Your attitude is always hot unless you are annoyed cos you show it all over your face and posture" - V, June 14
• "You always look fucking hot. What's new? And tell me you are calling grad student to have sex." - K, June 14
• "err i kno. i fdel like were in texas again" - J, June 14
• "Lol, alright babes. And consider what i said." - P, June 14
• "Haha. It totally smells like engine hn my kitchen. Who the hell wants to eat engine cookies!" - L, June 12
• "Ahh, Kimberry" - S, June 11
• "I am having a sausage next to your boyfriend"/"I mean husband" - V, June 9
• "All of interpol is so my boyfriends" - K, June 9
• "Ricky kaiser is my second or third husband" - V, June 9
• "This girl in front of us has a notebook and theres hearts and it says silversun pickups" - V, June 9
• "Hi Jenz how are you doing? Why t he 3am text message i am doing well" - PS, June 8
• "Would dressing a zombie bride be missing the mark?" - V, June 6
• "I am so astol which means crunk and you are not at new wave city to dance with me lovingly - *** ha ha ha galvanize" - G, June 3
• ":( btw...U should ask **** if he wants to take a nap in ur bed...I think hes cute" - L, June 1
• "Ima tard on ur FACE!" - L, May 31
• "If your coming to popscene tonight, bring a camera. The white suit will be in full effect and i need pics of me in it." - W, May 31
• "Damn so close! Miss you! See you soon definately." - H, May 29
• "Serious! How is this not the same as when people didnt tell u about the unnamed and *******. Urs was a bigger deal but she still has a right to know" - L, May 28
• "Love u!! Guess who got a trip to europe for graduation!" - L, May 26
• "Dude! Why didn't you tell me 340 ritch is for sale? *** and i are going to buy it and start parklife" - V, May 25
• "If charlie brown was a real person and alive today - he would have a kickass friend named linus and linus'band would sound just like spoon" - V, May 25
• "I think i am going to get (pen 15) tattoed on my cock"/(my response something like: oh man, i'll go in and hold your hand)/"I would have to keep hard so you have to do more than that" - S, May 24
• "Celebacey has been broken as of about 5am this morning..." - K, May 23
• "Lol whatever you know i stalk you" - S, May 22
• "Are people staring at you like you think youre better than them or like youre youth wasted?" - S, May 22
• "I fixed that sewing machine fool" - B, May 22
• "OMG! OMG! OMG! Thats what my vagina is saying right now..." - L, May 19
• "I love this so much ive peed myself!" - L, May 19
• "Snap! I hope they show my mug and ur hairy face" - L, May 19
• "Why hello. Who is this?" - TGD, May 18
• "Fuck yeah! PRROOOOMMM maybe ill even get deflowered tonight!!" - R, May 17
• "im just passed ur house! Ur the most coolest BFF ever!" - L, May 14
• "Oh no! Im coming over with a dustpan and some superglue! DONT BLOW AWAY!!" - L, May 12
• "K...ill hug him really really HARD!!" - L, May 10
• "I just came from a sextacular massage and am pretty oily" - V, May 10
• "Hahaha...Its true, like cheeto's. How are you?"/"@ work making monsters. Stay in bed as long as you can!" - K, May 9
• "Good news! I didnt have to go to the e.r. turns out i just need to sit on my ass for a couple days" - L, May 8
• "What's too sexy and is that really a problem?" - K, May 8
• "Wow first time ive been in close proximity to ******* since summer.. muni. but i have the best weapon- margaret!" - S, May 7
• "psh. you will always look hotter than he does." - U, May 6
• "Random staso sighting! gotta love em" - S, May 6
• "Wow ***** just told me he hella likes me a lot...help...i miss you" - J, May 6
• "Yay! Good luck! Flash conan for me!" - K, May 4
• "Thanks for saving my drunk ass from making a stupid mistake last night." - W, May 4
• "Wtf?!?! What an ass. You deserve better!"/"i know...he hasn't even called me yet either"/"What a complete douche. Cut your losses and call it a day." - exchange between me and W, May 3
• "I am home safe! thank you so much for everything tonight. i heart you big time :) " - U, May 3
• "Don't even sweat it girl. You were chillin before him you'll be chillin after him. Dont you give him another thought he obviously doesnt deserve it" - R, May 2
• "Aw i love you im sorry! make ****** your escort for the rest of the night or you can come over and we can spoon" - S, May 2
• "Want cake?" - B, May 2
• "That motherfucking douche bag!!! Im sorry!" - L, May 2
• "On the 38... and i have to pee SO BAD."/"about 10 Mins. hurry bus hurry!! for the love of god!!!!"/"OH SWEET RELEASE. where are you?" - U, May 2
• "I wish I was there to help you boo...i love you..good luck tonight" - A, May 2
• "Yeah!!! U a bad ass!" - L, May 1
• "Ur cute! Ull be fine...U are fine!" - L, Apr 30
• "Ooooooooo! Wink wink!" - L, Apr 30
• "Did he say anything? does he want his pump back ha" - K, Apr 28
• "Sexy back at ceramics party!" - L, Apr 28
• "Home. Thanks so much...and sweet dreams" - B, Apr 28
• "Home safe. Love you much." - H, Apr 28
• "Hey...you still at the de young?" - B, Apr 27
• "I understand. We shall see but this should be his last chance...Serious" - L, Apr 24
• "You are missing some weak ass entertainment up here" - TV, Apr 23
• "We're in the food area upstairs ... Follow the sound of bad The The covers" - TV, Apr 23
• "Your a babe" - M, Apr 23
• "I miss your face & I'm so proud of you" - A, Apr 23
• "You dont know how much that brightend my day" - S, Apr 23
• "Blush, blush" - A, Apr 22
• "Chin up now, you will be find just focus on what needs to be done :-) " - P, Apr 18
• "I am very proud and jealous" - V, Apr 16
• "Yall are gonna get married. Ps my stomach wreaked havoc on me. Dumpling brownie fry booze is a bad idea" - M, Apr 16
• "mm. well, go bone **** or call ***** and interrogate him about his feelings for me" - S, Apr 16
• "alright 2 b real with u im talking an hour of fucking and home town buffett after" - D, Apr 14
• "Haha tattoos and marriages are FOREVER." - R, Apr 13
• "Haha omg! U still go to pop?!" - S, Apr 11
• "Not really...I wanna get shitty with my hot mama" - L, Apr 10
• "Leave my lovely alone! THIS IS MY TIME!" - K, Apr 7
• "Lol. how i love you. off?! did he bleed?" - S, Apr 6
• "Tool room blows" - L, Apr 5
• "You have a licking problem" - L, Apr 3
• "uh ohhhh....hes reeling you in like a fish...dont do it boo, don't bite his bait" - A, Apr 1
• "I have been sitting at my dining room table trying to figure out how to open my copy of office 2007 - its the packaging from hell" - V, Apr 1
• "I named my new laptop pinky tuscadero - did i tell you this already?" - V, Apr 13
• "U flashed me like 8 times!" - L, Apr 1
• "Sometimes i wish i was a drag queen... Damn real boobs" - K, Apr 1
• "Wow. Can i borrow that bra? I want money to magicky apear in my underware!" - K, Apr 1
• "Where are you miss hotness? I am drinking at the metreon and about to thrown down for a computer - it's fucking hot pink - i love it!" - V, Mar 30
• "Noxagt. And yes, hello Jenn." - A, Mar 27
• "I got my wallet"/"Your mom got yr wallet"/"Ur a wallet" - exchange between me and L, Mar 24
• "Damn girl" - B, Mar 24
• "Omg took bud to the vet this morning. He is a she! We renamed her tina marie. Xoxo" - J, Mar 24
• "I'm going to be late cause i'm getting my hair did...we're like soul mates" - J, Mar 23
• "In late too! We have things in common!" - L, Mar 23
• "I enjoy her but not so much her voice" - S, Mar 22
• "I heart my jenzy! and i can't wait to see you on friday :) " - U, Mar 22
• "Missing you more..and love you more..." - A, Mar 18
• "Yes! i freaking broke my glasses again on the way home err" - K, Mar 18
• "Mad love so glad you girls came with me i love you so much" - K, Mar 18
• "I am crying on the inside...one of the guys works at hot topic. DOUCHBAG." - Mar 18
• "Kind of...there are the douchiest guys here. they dont like gay porn and they want to see nickeback in concert." - U, Mar 18
• "I just saw a catapilar pooh and wanted to buy it for you" - S, Mar 14
• "Placebo at the mother fucking fillmore in april. you down?" - U, Mar 11
• "I am the cranky! Love u and i must talk to u soon!" - L, Mar 10
• "Yous his sexy bitch he dont need the man eater" - K, Mar 9
• "your glasses boy is here" - K, Mar 8
• "I love my nip!" - S, Mar 8
• "What? Extra sleep is not stinky" - L, Mar 8
• "Pff NO love" - S, Mar 6
• "ecoli does a body good" - J, Mar 5
• "of course, a crazy for u" - J, Mar 3
• "I love you." - S, Mar 2
• "Totally! What a dick! On a side note...IM SO FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW! im sorry he has to be like that though" - L, Mar 1
• "I am in, please get here soon i feel alwaqe around all these hipsters" - U, Feb 28
• "He runs lookout records. and shutup." - U, Feb 27
• "Why do people with disabilities make me cry? I hate periods! Also, soy makes me unusually gaseous" - L, Feb 27
• "Lol you gonna see ***?" - S, Feb 27
• "Thinking of you and sending good energy your way :) " - R, Feb 24
• "Okay, but you HAVE to promise to kick him out when youre done with him" - S, Jan 19
• "I love you!! Thanks for bein my love muffin. C u soon" - L, Jan 18
• "Ps- my underwear, pants & shirt appear to be stain free. rejoyce!" - S, Jan 17
• "Love more than justin timberlake. Love more than pfunk lights. Love more than oreo cookies." / "Love more than JT? That's a lot of love!" / "I knooooooooooooooooooooow" - A and me, Jan 16
• "Lobotomy? serious head-injury? come on help a girl out" - S, Jan 15
• "Still, i miss my jenzy and i know you miss me (and my giant boobs)" - U, Jan 13
• "He laughs & says it is she (jenz) who is the gay" - S, Jan 13
• "Mmm love. or patheticism or something" - S, Jan 13
• "I wanna fuck him so badly! This is bad for my health" - A, Jan 11
• "I cant believe im missing out on the glory" - B, Jan 11
• "I know you're sweet" - J, Jan 11
• "Hmmm. was wondering where the snuggles were all night ... have a good day hun" - J, Jan 10
• "You need the JT song senorita" - B, Jan 6
• "I smell like me. Red hair in ma bed! ... And where did you disappear to if you were here." - J, Jan 6
• "You're pretty can I see your hot ass later????" - A, Jan 5
• "Meh awful. Like wearing boxer briefs around a bunch of gay bulls." - J, Jan 4
• "Love you and i'm glad you see that. You deserve...I dunno...Not a coke addict?" - K, Jan 4
• "You deserve way better anyway. He is a cool friend but not worth getting involved with otherwise" - S, Jan 4
• "Backstage at the cma's a Dick in the box!" - C, Jan 3
• "With proportionate cock?" - J, Jan 3
• "You're pretty. Did u know? I'm gonna run an errand with my mom and then I'm gonna your hot piece of mexican ass" - A, Jan 2
• "Drunk and safe but not laid. I did kiss ******* at Mel's though??? Ripped!" - A, Jan 2
• "Mm drunk the day after" - S, Jan 1
• "WOMAN! you still alive?" - S, Jan 1