• "i got really drunk last night and i can't even believe i ordered shoes, let alone said my credit card number correctly"
• "my dog ate one of the tassels - can i return a half-eaten tassel?"
• "i am 85 years old, honey. i don't even know what a stilleto is anymore"
• "my parrot is talking really loudly, hold on while i make him into a sandwich"
• "what do you mean you don't take swedish credit cards? do you think i'm a terrorist?"
• [on a bag that has a fruit pattern] "i want the one with the most strawberries on it. can you go into your wherehouse and find one?"
• "my wife...(sigh noise) yeah, she orders a lot from you"
• "i have SEEN the horror of the katrina aftermath...you don't know what it's like...these shoes will only make it better..." / me: "i'm sorry, ma'am, we still can't ship to a p.o. box through UPS..."
• "oh lord, i am so sorry i hung up on you...i accidentally sat on the phone"

list archived july 4 2006.