• "do you have any redbull vodkas available?" - no dude at table 41, and it's 2:30am. your drunk ass definitely is too late
• "can i have more napkins?" - sure. the fucking dispenser is four inches from your left hand
• "you're gorgeous." (i stare at you) "what, it doesn't mean anything because it's coming from a black man?" - no sir, it means nothing because it's coming from a man period during the bar rush on the weekend at the only place open in the soma 24 hours
• guy: "you know i'm buying your dinner, right baby? you know what comes after dinner, right?" girl: "oh yeah, baby. i do (giggles)" - hey, hornbirds - I'M TRYING TO TAKE YOUR PHONE ORDER. could you spare me the details of your hotel romp so i can ask you what kind of cheese for your hamburger????
• "we have a puker on table 7! puker! on 7!" - one of the servers being cheeky, but unfortunately right
• customer at 3:30 am: "i hope you're off soon." me: "no...i have to deal with you drunk assholes until 6 am"

list archived dec 31 2006.