of 2024 ┋ of 2025 ┋ blog posts ┋ wall of thought

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(2026.06.06) why can't I like things a normal amount? why does everything needs to become an obsession :( ┋ (2026.06.09) being nd in this world is too damn costly. it's meds, takeout food bc you cant/wont/forget to cook, bills with interest rates bc you forget/postpone them, even more meds bc why not... fuck all this. ┋ (2026.06.11) sempre q paro de me distrair, aquele pensamento cíclico volta: wish I could die.

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(2026.05.17) this was the wrong weekend to come over to my sister's... what do I do now ┋ (2026.05.22) lost it big. so so big. they got me, gal. and by they I mean *me*, I fucked myself over. I need to be studied. ┋ (2026.05.30) feeling inexplicably less bad, even though I've never been more financially fucked in my entire life... still can't manage to do stuff... maybe I feel less bad bc I'm thinking less abt life lol ┋ (2026.05.31) ok but if I lose this what else am I gonna be left with...

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴀᴘʀɪʟ

(2026.04.19) spiraling? me? que isso, magina! :) ┋

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴍᴀʀᴄʜ

(2026.03.04) tá tudo uma merda, hein... nem sei se devo voltar pra casa agora dia 25... honestamente, talvez seja melhor ficar por aqui e segurar os gastos. a ver. ┋ (2026.03.08) viva, mas a que custo? num apto pequeno cheio de tios e tias geriátricos gritando uns com os outros e tentando micromanage a vida alheia... não tô acostumada com essa vibe de confronto contínuo e gritaria, meus pais eram tranquilos e nunca brigavam na minha frente. ┋ (2026.03.14) difícil descrever em palavras o qto eu não quero fazer nada. não postar no blog, atualizar listo, assistir drag race, sair pro parque, comer direito. não quero. só quero esquecer que existo. ┋ (2026.03.20) At this point I'm living completely agaisnt my will. atm listening to gakhed's entire channel.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ғᴇʙʀᴜᴀʀʏ

(2026.02.03) Changed the look of this listo's calendar and updated a bunch of stuff around here. I'm also updating lots of little things over at my blog. Idk what that means to me tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ┋ (2026.02.04) I'm going to Ctb in 2 weeks and I hope it helps with the trimming of costs, I really need it. I've been having a hard time sleeping lately... and I'm stuck on the apt sale. ┋ (2026.02.10) *Almost* bought video games today. outdated credit card info stopped me. thank jesus. in another note, I'm completely and utterly stuck with dealing the apt sale. Idk what to do. ┋ (2026.02.17) human again. cheguei ontem na casa da dia, às 23h e tanto. a vibe tava estranha. masss finalmente tive meu boox palma em mãos! I love it. <3 ┋ (2026.02.21) it's been a semi-busy week. preciso parar de enrolar com a tradução. *preciso* marcar os médicos! mds... pq eu sou assim, sabe. ah, e acho que por aqui vai ser mais notas em pt msm, faz tempo q não escrevo na minha língua nativa. além disso, tenho me esforçado pra agora incluir notinhas no meu postroll. preciso me forçar a me expressar mais.

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(2026.01.02) Recovering from a collapse (not a menty b. tho), slowly organizing this place for 2026. had a migraine, a fight w/ partner. life kinda sucks but here we go. ┋ (2026.01.12) I'm so tired of physical pain. I'm so tired of not having enough money. Literally 100% of my problems can be solved with money, y'all. ┋ (2026.01.15) Been feeling kinda stuck, mentally speaking. I got a few lists on here to set up, gotta start a translation, deal with laundry, review stuff for a friend... havent been able to do any of that. ┋ (2026.01.20) feeling weak & disappointed with self, as per usual. watched a movie. had a fight with partner. now im too tired to prep dinner.