2024 ┋ 2025 ┋ wall of thought ┋ ideas

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴅᴇᴄᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

(2025.12.06) gotta finish this copyediting, the last of the year... then play with my punirune and my first switch cartridge (mineko's market!).

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

(2025.12.06) november came and went and I didn't record anything here. Not even my monthly calendar on the main tab. It was crazy busy and hectic with weddings, work trips (to resorts!), dinner parties with friends and neighbors and even a late, late, late halloween on nov 29. the last of its kind, a goodbye in a sense. my eldest (cat) burst his adenal gland and we rushed to the vet, but he's fine now. so I guess that retrospect will be it for my november snippets.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴏᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ

(2025.10.12) pitter-patter of endless little things I wanna say into the void of the internet... control yourself, girl. aaand freaky sunday on the book fair ┋ (2025.10.14) updating a bunch of lists, thinking I should write down that dream... and I should def reorganize my finances. ┋ (2025.10.17) querendo ler mil coisas, escrever umas duas, jogar uns dez jogos, mandar uns seis "oi sumida" pra umas editoras mas to aqui fazendo nada disso rysos ┋ (2025.10.24) Feeling bummed out A LOT recently... no money + no freelance work = the sad.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ sᴇᴘᴛᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

(2025.09.05) Today is my flatmate's bday, there's good food in the horizon. My partner got into the Masters program he wanted! I feel good? ┋ (2025.09.09) Feeling all sorts of weird. A migraine will do that to you. ┋ (2025.09.15) Why is it that every time I sit down to To Stuff, I lose all motivation and completely forget what I was gonna do?

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴀᴜɢᴜsᴛ

(2025.08.12) só sou feliz na internet (às vezes). ┋ (2025.08.13) Gotta figure out what to do from now on... This whole studying thing isn't working. ┋ Control has officially been lost. *chuckles* I'm in danger. ┋ (2025.08.18) Today is my bday. Did things I didn't expect I'd enjoy. Life's weird that way. ┋ (2025.08.20) Going back home. Foi um dia de cão. I missed my cats so so much. ┋ (2025.08.22) We're just not seeing eye to eye, it's as if we're living in different wavelengths. I miss therapy. ┋ Been feeling super shitty lately... but I read a few msgs on my walloftext and they got me smiling again. ┋ (2025.08.23) Had a very family-oriented day. Accidental double date w/ my sister and her partner. It was fun. Matei a saudade do meu gatinho que mora c/ ela. <3 ┋ (2025.08.29) Just sad sad sad.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴊᴜʟʏ

(2025.07.01) New month, same me. I wish I had energy to... do anything, really. I'm not even gaming, ffs. Tho updating my listo feels so good. ┋ (2025.07.02) Hoje nem o dia quis amanhecer. ┋ (2025.07.27) Wrote a bunch of reviews on Amazon today. Am pretty happy with my mini PC; been thinking about life: should I worry about the future or live in the present? Can't do both. Comprei a agenda que queria ter comprado desde janeiro...

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴊᴜɴᴇ

(2025.06.13) The queen of self-sabotage is I. Tenho pensado em voltar a escrever, mas nunca sento pra fazer isso. ┋ (2025.06.15) I need to do a lot of little things I don't wanna do. I dreamed of working and pomodoro timers. Damn. ┋ (2025.06.17) cansada de me sentir cansada o tempo todo, mesmo qdo não tenho nada pra fazer. wtf brain. ┋ (2025.06.28) As soon as I stop working, my mood improves, my sleep improves, my life improves. Incredible.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴍᴀʏ

(2025.05.14) This was the freakiest of days. The sudden heavy rainfall made it even freakier. Went to Vila Arraes with a bunch of gringos, got soaking wet with the rain, skipped lunch, ran my mouth at the workplace, talked to a few people for the first time, listened to slowed+reverb, answered Those E-mails... Life goes on. ┋ (2025.05.15) I don't wanna talk to anyone. ┋ Anger is better than numbness. ┋ (2025.05.28) Cause of death: menstrual cramps.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴀᴘʀɪʟ

(2025.04.22) Alive, but at cost. Apparently my new response to stress is feeling sleepy. Lost a couple migraine logs here. Everything is overdue. Updated a few media logs. Life goes on. ┋ (2025.04.23) the seed of an idea is budding inside me. this is dangerous; I don't have the time... or the energy. ┋ (2025.04.27) "Life goes on" really is the motto this month. It doesn't mean I have to like it (the life). ┋ (2025.04.30) wishing I could be a whole different person lately... one with a schedule, and will to live.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴍᴀʀᴄʜ

(2025.03.02) what an absolute flop of a life. avoiding joy AND work. great. ┋ (2025.03.05) cant have no fun with dire consequences, hun. a mix of antidepressant deprivation, a sedentary lifestyle and hangover... why. ┋ (2025.03.13) I really don't understand why it's so hard to speak what I feel... all the time, since I can remember, and so often; even writing about it is so so hard. ┋ (2025.03.18) jesus christ... correndo pra terminar a tradução em tempo, e hj acabei lendo sobre o caso de sylvia likens e terminei a leitura vomitando, passei o resto do dia mal. não tenho estômago pra essas coisas (literally). ┋ (2025.03.31) this month was supposed to be a turning point... it didn't turn as expected, though. failing on the same things, living still the same way...

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ғᴇʙʀᴜᴀʀʏ

(2025.02.04) alive but at what cost. today was rough, I don't know how to help them. ┋ (2025.02.05) thoroughly enjoying my internet rn; wish irl things were good too lol. and I really really wanna rewatch twin peaks but I can't find it anywhere. :( ┋ (2025.02.06) I can't believe something like this happened... I feel like I can breathe again. ┋ (2025.02.09) My cat holding my arm with one paw while falling asleep on my desk is the definition of a blessing. ┋ (2025.02.10) maybe my wishlist should be just the one item titled "money, bitch". ┋ I really miss being me... ┋ (2025.02.15) today was rough, buddy... depression-napped half the day and did nothing. couldn't even watch drag race. ┋ (2025.02.18) it's been nice having a personal blog again ('personal' being the imperative word here), I really missed this feeling. ┋ (2025.02.19) can't live life failing every. single. day. ┋ (2025.02.24) deus, escolhe outra guerreira. tá foda. ┋ (2025.02.27) I showed a friend my listography and I got the nicest comment from them: "I feel like I'm leafing through your favorite notebook", and you know what... yes they are.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ✦⸻ ᴊᴀɴᴜᴀʀʏ

(2025.01.01) don't forget: today was a good day; partner, gaming, queer eye, listography, noodles & poke bowls ┋ (2025.01.03) had an amazing call with the Girls! ┋ (2025.01.06) really need to get basic shit together this year... i feel like I'm 18 all over again and I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. ┋ (2025.01.08) and we're officially back at therapy. ┋ (2025.01.09) cute lunch with the girls; felt almost alive. they do me good. <3 ┋ (2025.01.12) drinkies w hubby and internet calls with friends; obligations pile up... and I started budgeting the year. ┋ (2025.01.14) had to cancel therapy bc of migraine; died a little today. ┋ (2025.01.18) did I fix my sleep? we shall see. today can change my whole life, but idk if I really want that job... I fucking hate my brain. Day's update: flop. ┋ (2025.01.21) been lightheaded since I opened my eyes at 4:30am... is it the meds, is it insomnia, is it depression, who knows. ┋ (2025.01.30) it's done, I did it.